unbiased views on this. and how to react in future

If you want your MIL/parents to take care of your baby while you go and work and still expect that they will listen to you/report to you, let me warn you....it will not happen. MIL/parents are not our maids who will do whatever we say. They have brought up kids and will do the same way when it comes to their grandchildren even though we want different ways of upbringing!

There are three options here:

1. Hire a baby-sitter and ask your MIL to just keep an eye on her. You can tell the baby-sitter whatever you want your baby to eat.
2. Send your child to the daycare center.
3. Leave the child with your MIL/Mom...but then don't expect they will do whatever you want and will report back to you. It is simply not going to happen.
4. Leave the job and stay at home with the baby.

According to me, the best options are 1 and 2.

As far as your case is concerned, you are at fault too by being too fussy. I also hate the way your husband treats you, he has absolutely no respect for his wife

Wish you all the best and I hope you are able to resolve this soon.

--Bubai

 

A working mother has to make huge compromises. The best thing to do for you is to quit job or take a long leave and be with your son so that you can look after him. If you don't want to do that than rely on your MIL. Be tactful. On the weekends, you can ask them what has been the feeding routine during the week, so that you can prepare the food. You can also express your concerns at that time to your MIL and request any changes that you need to your son's diet like adding veggies etc.
If your son is growing well then just rely on your MIL,be grateful to her and enjoy the freedom that you have of working full time.

 

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Dear priyanka,
This is a very common scenario wherein the inlaws will drag the DIL to the point that she is left with no choice other than being rude. This is exactly what they want so that you turn out to be disrespectful in front of your husband.
Finally it is only going to reflect on your health. Being a mother I can understand ur concerns. How about being a little more relaxed and not get worked up on issues. When u will look back you will find them trivial as compared to the challenges life has to offer.
Just try to be happy and you will see the change it will make in your surroundings. Your husband is no great help so try not discuss about your baby or Inlaws with him. If they have to talk behind your back , you cannot do much about it so be cool and let the life take its course. May god bless you

 

I completely agree with Bubai , in fact she has mentione what i wanted to write.:cheers and you may not like our replies....:hiya

As a working mother, you clearly have to let go.....why do u want your MIL to report to you what DS ate...since your concern is understandable, maybe you can call say once from office as ask what DS is doing, has he been naughty, did he eat well, did he play, did he utter some words, did he trouble his granny, what did he eat etc etc...:coffee

Bringing up a child is once in a lifetime exp, maybe you need to let go of the smaller things like these

your MIL has bought up your DH and there is no reason why she will think anything bad for the baby.

in fact she has MORE expereince being a mother than you..!!:exactly:
As long as you see your baby well fed and growing well in your IL's company, you should be grateful to them:thumbsup

there are many ladies here who have no help whatsoever in child rearing and have to do all housework, cleaning, cooking, office, commute, spending time with baby, grocery shopping etc even when they have their ILs staying with them; by themselves

 

I agree with you ATI..... When you let them do whatever they want, next time they start dictating you also. At the same time we cannot order them around.. Then word goes around the entire community that DIL has an attitude... There is a delicate balance somewhere which i've not yet learned to strike... Perhaps some experienced ladies here can help!!

 

i think you are angry because your MIL is not discussing things with you before it gets done. I can understand that. My MIL does not interfere much with raising my kid except when i am living with her but she will not share anything with me even when i am living under the same roof with her. It does irritate me, but i will count on all my blessings in my life. God has blessed with me so many other good things and i feel i should just learn to ignore her attitude and move on.

I somehow feel you are fighting over trivial issues. You have to be really matured and patient to handle all this crap even you husband's attitude.

all the best !