My 12 yrs. old kid addicted to Tv/Computer games please help

Anoo,


I definitely agree, it is the parent's fault as well as not to forget the peer pressure. i agree certain games are helpful in hand eye co-ordination as well as logical thinking. but all said, we start things with the good intention that we are helping the child but we never realise when the time crosses the allowed/permitted limit.. We as parents unknowingly/knowingly buy the first set of games and then there is no stopping..i know kids who bring their x-boxes to all places and carry them like jewel boxes..i have seen kids wearing psps around their neck just like mobiles (and i go :bonk:bonk:bonk)

there is a point when your child starts thinking about these games, even while doing any other work..i have heard of kids who think of these games while they are sitting in front of their text books, sitting in the toilet, even in their sleep..

And, right now your son is in a very delicate point of life being a tween moving to be a teenager. any restriction you push is going to push the other buttons of anger, tantrums, rebellion..you need to handle it with more care.

divert his attention to other things.. when he has the pull to play games, do very deftly bring him into some family time.. stop watching tv as a family,(after all it is your son whom you want to move out of the games addiction..) you can make some changes in life style like taking up reading, discussing, cooking, painting, gardening whatever interests your son other than the games..

if there has not been any behavioral changes in your son, or any changes in grade, or any complaints, relax and play your cards well you still have time and don't panic. and don't lock the game,or scold him for this..it is not going to help..

and for those who believe some games are better i have nothing to say.. even surfing and reading interesting materials on wikipedia is an addiction, that i am trying to battle with my son, and people may differ on the same view..Whether your child plays educational/entertainment or the new edutainment series of games please have a watch on the time..it is said that more time on tv/video games has a influence on the behavioral pattern in children..and remember these are kids who grow up to become glued to the tv/laptops and we don't want our future dil's complaining like some of the wives out there who write about their husbands' in the relationship forums..:hide:

Again these are my views alone as a parent of two teenagers.. (they have never owned a x-box/psp.) the games that they play are chess/pharoah/building a city like games..and now my daughter (read that as no time being in 12th std) does not play while my son plays cricket online..

 

aNOO,
They are a part of environmental activities organised at their school/Indian club/and a centre here called Idea. The activities can range from pet rescue, beach clean up, attending and providing awareness campaigns, participating at envirinment Fairs ( he won something on marine life last yr) etc.... So all depends on what's available in your vicinity. He also loves to walk the ramp, this can be a lot of "shift in environment and mood" , and take your mind off all stiff academics for a while. Please encourage at least one outdoor sport which your son really likes can be anything from golf, basketball, swimming etc. he surely must be having an inborn passion for something of this sort, all you have to do is find out what exactly he likes and sharpen those skills.
Good luck....parenting sure is a medley of flavours.
Mega

 

Nice thread.

 

anoo, i am not a smart mother, ask my kids, we learn along with our children. I tell my children though i may be their mom, i have no experience in being mom other than when i started being their's and i could make mistakes and i also have the right to learn from them just as they do. it is kind of fun when you are able to communicate to your teenager..

it is a tough road, but equally interesting road , being the parent of a teenager.. being one of a girl and a boy is again so varied..

there are days when i would like to rip off the hair on my head and there are days i would like to pat myself for being

so you will be there..all of us want the best for our kids, only the problem starts when ours and our kids don't coincide or we fail to see reason... at those times, let us just rewind and look into ourselves...you will be surprised that our kids are more our reflection though updated version in terms of knowledge, exposure, understanding and intelligence..

all the best.. not yet there, but i am just half way through the journey....it is not easy but not too hard...just be a mom, no need of being smart...

 

I would just like to add that even reading itself (yea such as in books) can be addictive. It is just unlike eletronics or computer games, reading is seen as a favorable activity. Certainly it is, however excessive reading and no other hobbies to supplement it, isnt. By reading it is just as much possible to escape reality as it is through computer games, so if a child or teenager just locks itself inside all day reading, imo would be just as much concern. Keeping activities well balanced is very important. And personally, i do see a difference in computer games because i have played them myself and i have seen many many kids playing games that were not suitable for their age group because it was "cool".

 

Hi sweetgirl...
But a book always ends and but not so with computer games its endless... One cant read a book many times consecutively thats the advantage....

 

sweetgirl,

thanks for the concern..i have already mentioned that it is an addiction..even in this case he knows his limits.. and the pc is never in closed doors..we have restricted laptop only to my dh for his office work and we use a common pc that is in my bedroom and the kids need my permission to use it...so that way i have a counter check..though they have never misused, it.. because we have discussed, and they have had lectures at school on social networks and security and the effects of watching certain sites.. whatever he reads, we discuss, this has become an good source of knowledge in the family, because of these discussion, we have a tab on what he reads and also we get to know a lot of info..


vjb, the book ends, but my son reads the same book for 7 to 8 times saying that each book has a different perspective each time..the last book he has been reading is the three cups of tea and it is the 8th time, now...and he is just 14...

 

Hi Shanti
I can relate to that habit as I have the same habit...what I said is one cant read the book continously I mean after finishing the book one wont take the same book next day thats JMO and I agree with your DS that it really gives new perspective...