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Why Is it so hard to make indian friends here?

Discussion in 'General Discussions - USA & Canada' started by OCdesigirl, Apr 25, 2012.

  1. Pranjjal

    Pranjjal Gold IL'ite

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    Shyamaljh,

    Hindi is an official lang of India. In India Hindi and English are preferred for cross-cultural transactions and conversations. If u are living in ur own state then u can continue to speak in ur mother tongue lang but if u r in other state/country u need to speak common language. My own mother tongue lang is different but if someone wants to make friends they need to speak common language. I don't tell my Malyali friend to learn my mother tongue lang which is neither Hindi nor English. Please think before u comment.

    OCdesigirl,
    See You read it na If the attitude is like I will speak my own mother tongue lang then of course its hard to make friends of other community and people will search for friends of there own community. I have Japanese friends also but we were able to make friendship because we can speak English, common language but I learned basic Japanese from them out of curiosity and interest.
     
  2. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

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    who decides what's wrong and right? Please entertain me that.

    I CHOOSE MY FRIENDS. this holds good for any sane individual. Why does it bother if the friends I chose are not diverse? Have you seen an african american gang thats diverse? what about hispanics? Chinese?

    Why is that Indian's scrutinize fellow indians, but suck up if other nationals do it?

    You do what makes you happy. If you want to enjoy the beauty of different backgrounds, then have a diverse friendship. Mind you, those advice diversity should never have political boundaries. You should have a chinese, japanese, african, american, spanish, blah blah blah as your circle of close friends to mingle with. If not, please !!

    Hindi? Who told you thats an universal language? As much as hindi is your language, other languages are theirs. Why don't you try to learn other "Indian" languages?

    Nice friend, have you reciprocated by learning her language? I thought so ;-)
     
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  3. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

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    There is no national language for India

    There's no national language in India: Gujarat High Court - Times Of India

    When english is accepted as the worldwide medium of communication, it is not mandatory to learn Hindi unless one is interested. Each state legislate have their own language as an official language. So let's not get carried away by Hindi being all and everything in India !!

    As an Indian, first please get familiarized with indian constitution before concluding.

    U learnt japanese out of curiosity and Interest but argue about your malayali friend not talking in Hindi. Don't I see a glaring disconnect here :p
     
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  4. OCdesigirl

    OCdesigirl Gold IL'ite

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    I do have a wide mixture of friends, I was born and raised in california of course I have other friends. I fail to make Indian friends which is what this thread is about.
     
  5. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

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    Ah ha !!

    Thanks for the information :) Now it makes all sense.

    See, there is a reason there is a term called ABCD :) No, no I am not making fun, I call them American born Contemplating Desis. Indians born and brought up in India, like many of us here have a very different outlook since all we know were Indians when we grew up unlike you :) So comparing us with you is like oranges to apples. So let's not do that, it will not be fruitful at all :p :p

    Good atleast we are trying to get on the same plane to dissect the problem, which is you, An american born Indian, finding it hard to make Indian friends :) This is a whole new topic and let's analyze it further ;-)

    So what type of Indian friends are hard for you. Recent Immigrants or first generation ones or those like you?
     
  6. deepa10

    deepa10 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Pranijjal,

    See, its not about speaking in a common language. When there is a choice, when you are miles away from your home town and you are hearing someone speaking your mother tongue, yes you will automatically respond in that language. its in your blood. You cannot change that. But it does not stop anyone from being friends with other language speaking people. It all depends on a person's mindset.

    Shyamlajh commented because you have specified Indians speaking their mother tongue which is generic and cannot be accepted. I am in a metro city and have a lot of Indian friends here, they also speak in their mother tongue when they are more than two in number. So, speaking in mother tongue need not be specific for Indians like you specified. It depends on each person.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2012
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  7. OCdesigirl

    OCdesigirl Gold IL'ite

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    I am in no way, shape, or form an ABCD. I may have been born in US but my lifestyle is very "indian" like people get shocked when they meet me and happen to ask where I am from and I tell them California born and raised. I do not partake in what other american born people partake in, (clubs, drinking,smoking, fighting with parents, etc. etc.) I do not get along too well with other people who are born here, I am VERY conservative. My DH has been here since 2006 both he and my in-laws are very happy that I have good morals and live the way I do. Any way back to the topic, My DH says that since I do pooja daily, and that I am wearing bindi, sindoor, mangal sutra and do not even own one pair of jeans that desi people are put off by that. I had a friend in high school, the first year she came to us she was like me salwar kameez to school, respect for parents etc. etc. The second year she was here: short skirts, clubs, drinking, boyfriends, rebelling. Who says that american born indians can not get along with indian born ones? The point is Indian born people don't usually give other people a chance before making a huge judgement about them.
     
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  8. indianinbayarea

    indianinbayarea New IL'ite

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    Hindi is not a universal language thats true. But ENGLISH is. People who speak French and German Language are not comfortable wth english because the accent is different. Thats why they prefer to speak in their "National" Language.

    Same happens when the majority is hindi speaking, so someone who is not comfortable with hindi feels out of place. That happens everywhere.

    Everyone speaks in a different peculiar accent whether indians or Non indians. They have a different accent when they talk English. But if you are in china, its very helpful to know chinese or mandarin. Same way if you are in France or Germany, its very helpful to know the local language because they might not know English that well.

    BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2012
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  9. IL_Admin

    IL_Admin Administrator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> Dear IL-ites,

    Some of the posts in this thread has been removed as a part of moderation.

    Unfortunately, we see that this discussion is going totally North - getting too tangent. This is NOT the way we would like to see discussions progressing in IndusLadies Community - which is supposed to be a community of Friendly & Helpful members.

    Most participants in this thread seem to have forgotten the Forum Etiquette & Guidelines.

    Kindly follow the below link about "Participation Guidelines" to remind yourselves about how to participate in the discussions in a respectful and impersonal manner.

    Thank you.</m:defjc></m:rmargin></m:lmargin></m:dispdef></m:smallfrac>
     
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  10. indianinbayarea

    indianinbayarea New IL'ite

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    You preferred keeping this sentence "Same happens when the majority is hindi speaking, so someone who is not comfortable with hindi feels out of place. That happens everywhere." This is half sentence

    Allow me to correct this. Thank you -

    When the majority in a GROUP is hindi speaking, so someone who is not comfortable with hindi feels out of place. That happens everywhere.
    Same way when majority in a GROUP is not hindi speaking and when the group starts speaking that language ( non-hindi), then those people feel out of place
     
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