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Very frustrated with the so-called 'love marriage'

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sillydoy, Apr 2, 2012.

  1. GMReddy

    GMReddy Silver IL'ite

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    dear op,

    your h beating your daughter is simply deplorable...you better educate him on this, how this can not be done by an eudcated person...

    coming to picking up fights with you for silly reasons of talking wrong words, there is deeper psychological problem here...may be counselling on anger management may help to some extent...

    better take help of parents to resolve these problems...

    it may be better to not say sorry if you are not wrong and make him realise what he is doing wrong...

    best of luck...
     
  2. cutemonster

    cutemonster Platinum IL'ite

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    i just have to say i pity ur child!
    a child deserves to be brought up in a loving and caring family.because of one stupid guy who does know his responsibility and one spineless mother the child will grow up to be a disoriented person !

    i m surprised by all these love marriages ???????
    do the guys marry only to seek the girl and have a ego satisfaction that they got the girl they wanted ?
    fight and all are secondary to some bigger problem in ur family. there are some issues which need to be sorted out. no man in his right mind will like to shout and fight , either he is frustrated or he has some mental illness !
    and about u !!!!! do u think ur responsibility was to only give birth to ur child? u have to protect ur child from any harm , even if its her father , she will never forgive u for being so spineless !
    its ok u loved the guy and are tolerating all this nonsense in the name of love and society but what ur daughter is facing is pathetic , atleast stand up for ur child if u cant stand up for urself !
     
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  3. silvertulip

    silvertulip Platinum IL'ite

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    I must say that DH needs counselling for his mental state! How can he hit his child? It's a crime in US? U need to stand up against him for all that he does. This is not acceptable behavior that he will shout and scream and threaten u with hitting ur DD. Ask him to control his behavior and go for counselling else u will complain about him for child abuse, and yes during this time don't stay with him with ur daughter as he might try hurting u or ur DD out of frustration.
     
  4. ssm014

    ssm014 Platinum IL'ite

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    so many stories here of girls marrying to guys in US and getting trapped...no career, no self worth and worse of all beatings in some cases...

    Hopefully parents who are looking for grooms in US and girls who are faced with an option of leaving their job take a cue from these real life incidents and safegaurd their own interests...

    I am not saying we shouldnt leave our job and go outside...(i have myslef done this...) but we need to be smart and atleast try to have some property or financial back up while we are working.....
     
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  5. Hyral

    Hyral Gold IL'ite

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    Its very unacceptable that ur DH hits your DD after fighting with you...what kind of Dad he is....later when he hugs his daughter better tell him ..... dont act to show that you love your DD....if you really do than stop being psycho by hitting own lil cute daughter....If you have pics of your pre marriage days....sit with him and look at those pics and remind him of those days when things were fine with you....
    Tell him that you have married him to be by his side in all thick and thin....but for that he should behave normal and non-abusive...you would do all possible things to support him...make him feel loved....somewhere something severe is disturbing him...try to find out whats that....
    Dont make a habit to surrender to him by saying sorry always...tell him...you arent sorry coz you havnt done any thing wrong and infact he should be very sorry for he is not behaving himself...hit DD and abusing wife...

    Take him out to some vacation with a condition that no matter what we wont fight and would try to understand eachother from fresh and to re-unite

    And still if things doesnt work well....than take a stand and ask him clearly what he wants from this marriage....I know its not easy to divorce him after having baby but you arent happy living with him like this...theres long way to go in life and moreover ur DD is one who is getting suffered both emotionally and physically....to age she belongs , she doesnt deserve this for no fault of hers....pls.....take up stand against this man if required call 911.....
    am so disturbed after reading you post...that ur DH hits ur DD.....feeling so sorry for ur DD and you....many hugs to you DD and hug to you as well.....pls wake up dear before it gets late
     
  6. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    sillydoy, love is not the problem but its link with marriage the cause of all misery.

    Nandita
     
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  7. sumyramasamy

    sumyramasamy New IL'ite

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    hi there, it's simple, men like this just wan to feel gud by putting women down & treat them like slaves....they r cowards, thats y b4 marriage they r nice & after that they show thier tru colors... God has given us a choice - stand up for ourselves & get out frm the predicament OR go on living like this but stop complaining. I'm sure u are wise enough to choose... Kids are the outcome of love & bond between husband & wife.. taking it out on them is a big NO NO! Again, only cowards do that...taking it out on women & kids...Choose wisely... at the end of the day it's not worth living a life trying to satisfy other people & sacrifice ur own happiness...Pls get urself a better life...
     
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  8. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    Looking at sillydoy's case I feel the points discussed in an earlier thread 'A good marriage' makes sense and need to be reconsidered.

    Nandita
     
  9. ambalu

    ambalu New IL'ite

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    hi dear,
    so sorry to read abt ur plight .. wonder where the love has gone.. maybe u need to remind him abt the times u have spend together and also u were willing to change ur religion and leave ur parents etc...he is a monster is a fact which u cannot ignore and to protect ur child is what u have to do at all times also u should stand up to him if he starts shoutg or throwing things just walk out to the other room wait fr him to calm himself down and then u try to reason with him.. mostly i think he is frustrated..and is taking it out on u and the child.. u can try to reason with him no need to b submissive and stand up maybe that we do the trick let him keep shouting dont give up and plzzzzzzz dont allow him near ur child when he is like this.. all the best to u :thumbsup
     
  10. Megalife

    Megalife Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi sillydoy
    He seems not only to be an insecure person but also is a big time coward. Feeling depressed is going to make the life of you lil one and yourself even more miserable. You have to get financially independent and stand up for your rights as a women and a mother. Most Ils have offered all possible advice, think over it. If he is going thru a medical problem get him to visit a psychiatrist. Take care
    Mega
     

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