Wife unhappy

Also tell your cousin to stress that its not about money. Its just so that she doesnt get bored. And since he loves her so much he doesnt want to see her bored (you know talk it sweetly)

And yes get her drivers licence (that is the first thing needed - it may take 6 tries but that needs to happen)

 

In your entire post, all I can read about is...how rich she was before marriage and how that has affected her after marriage outlook etc!!! I mean I dont get it when someone talks about bad parenting...as if your friend is already a great parent....really????

I dont have any suggestion to offer, because you very well gave the explanation for al the questions..why wait...ask your friend to proceed for divorce...how can he live with such a rich brat!!!


one thing....he knows she is coming from a well to do family...so whatever this guy is offering like renting an apt or having a car or a TV are not really a big deal for her.....men also have to understand when they are coming forward to marry a women from well to do i.e rich class families...at the time of marriage, many grooms and their parents feel so happy that they are getting well off families....but after marriage the same people complain about the DILs tantrums....and incapability to adjust as the reasons....dont we know this may happen? its not that every women will be like that...but arent there supposed to be some adjustment from the mans side also wheen he marries a woman from such a well off family.

. (basically I have seen women in such typ eof situations putting up with a tempermental and dissatisfied husband n inlaws...our forums are full of it..but these women dont opt for divorce or dont even utter the word unless it gets to the point of they on the verge of beaten up badly....)

As much as the wife is tempermental anddissatisfied here...the husband also doesnt have enough patience and tact to deal with the wife and udnerstand and communicate. seems like he doesnt even have time for it to understand whats wrong and work on it (because he is already thinking about stigma of divorce??? that shows he even started considering divorce)

If just 1.5 yr is what he could take all this...better late than never...ask him to suggest divorce to his wife and see what happens and one request is suggest not to talk aobut parenting. how does it sound if the inlaws talk aobut how bad hsuband this guy is....(doesnt sound fair right??)foir parents its their kid...they would see no flaws...for a man the moment he looks at all these in a diff. angle things would seem diff. but all this guy is looking for is negativities in this woman..I have not seen you mention one single positive thing about this woman...which means..she doesnt have any??? or he didnt share any positive info??? and this well educated guy married a rich girl...with not good education..(did he marry just without dowry??? or gifts!!!)


By hte way did she visit India after marriage?? If not, why not suggest a vacation, let her go to India and spend sometime with her parents...see if she misses her husband..and wants to come back...if she doesnt miss her husband...then its easy for your relative also....both of them will know their true feelings during this vacation time..if they still want to stay married or live apart.

 

Well said Srividya!! Very well said. Had the question been asked by the groom to his would be wife -"I am from middle class family and you are rich family. The lifestyle in usa is different. you have to do everything by yourself. are u prepared for such a life?" - then i would say that the wife needs to put more effort and it is her fault.

i dont see any such kind of information provided. I cant blame the wife. Nor the husband. This is a typical arranged marriage situation

 

Your cousin is a victim of domestic violence and abuse. Abusers rarely change their behavior, and I suspect your cousin's wife shall ever change hers. Even after a warning from police she hasn't been able to control her temper. I would suggest, ask your cousin to have courage and get out of such marriage. Violence is just unacceptable, however rich she was, or poor your cousin was. Did your cousin mis-represent his wealth or financial status before getting married? Assuming no, I would say he has no reason to feel guilty if he represented himself in earnest. It would be understandable if girl said that sorry, I mistook your financial status and I am finding it hard to adjust(and then I would have said they both can work on it). But she resorting to abuse and beating - I would say get out of this, before the constant abuse takes a drain on your cousin's mental well being.

 

Families knew about each other statuses but the ind ppl didnt right? Thats why i am saying theres still hope and its not very serious issue. I am not too sure about the beating part? I am not sure shes really beating him black and blue and hes afraid of her.

The trip to india is good. she will probably talk to her parents. better not say anything till they come back from the trip.

Has her husband tried to explain nicely that this is the lifestyle he thinks can keep her happy. if this is not what she wants, ask her what she wants. ask her if her lifestyle can be maintained in the usa and if she says yes - ask her how. Be open and frank wth her

 

To the OP-

Who said, being a home-maker is a simple, there are so many thing she could do such as running the house-hold , getting involved in local schools, hospital/library volunteer, raising her kids, planning week-end
parties with other families. Pampered girl is one thing, but she seems to be selfish, lazy, and determined to destroy others around her.

I am extremely sorry to say this...From my experience, I have seen this kind of new wife's with no skill set, or any personal ambition to achieve anything in life as a home-maker or in work force. Just married to a guy in US, for the show-off.

It will be best, if your cousin could leave her in India for 6-months under her parents and see, how she behaves. Even if your cousin moves to India, the pattern will repeat because she has to live in different city
than her relatives.

She is a ticking time-bomb. From her pattern, I see that sooner or later she will put your cousin in big trouble. She is not only danger to herself and also, for the people around her. Poor young man, it is too much for him to handle.

 

I have to say I am quite irritated at the double standards of most of the respondents to this thread. If it was a guy doing the beating then every one would be yelling 911 full throttle. But this appareantly lazy spoiled husband beating brat who thinks life is a movie is given all sorts of excuses. Boredom, lonely in USA, blah blah blah. She is a husband beater and this guy should call the police. A night in the police station and the fingerprinting will be at least a momentary eyeopener. I think the chances of a happy marriage are not likely in this situation.

 

Yeah, I would have also suggested to take police help, had this not been a case of Indian male. Involving police in US, would most likely prompt the girl to file a 498a against him and his parents in India as revenge and his old aged parents would have to needlessly suffer. That is why I suggested of amicable divorce.
If your cousin and family back in India are "brave" types, he should take correct legal recourse - which would be calling 911. In any case, most important thing for him should be to mantain personal well being.