Friends ,to whom we should listen after marrage hus or parents?

hi sana
pls assess every situaton and u listen to ur self....
u do what ever u feel is right....
ur feeling can some times go along with ur husband some time with parents..

 

hai sana,
i too had similar probs like u..from my view the best way way is you have decide depending on the situation..listen to both side and act wisely.u cant leave ur parents as such because they love u uncondtionally and also u cant neglect ur husband as u love him..whenever a prob rises calm down for a while and think..then take ur decision without partiality..ur decision should b based only on the situation and its apt solution not on ur realtionship with either ur parents or ur husband. Be firm that u would make wise decisins not leaning on both sides...and it worked for me well...all the best..tc

 

Everyone has already given you the best advise possible.
I too would say the same. You should be able to listen to both, everyone has an opinion. But the final choice to pick what would be right and would suit your current situation, should be all yours.

Yes parents know it all and now you are married to your husband. But there is a thin line drawn there when you get married and move from your parent's place to your husband's. Its not like you should cut ties, but parents too should know how much they can interfere. And the husband needs to understand that sometimes parents do say things from their own experience and for the good of their children. If both can't understand that, YOU have to out your foot down and make the decisions yourself.

 

The sensible answer.But if ur living in india, u can do what ever u want or even what u do not want. Who will stop you? Why dont u try the DV and 498A?

 

Hi Sana,

Every woman faces this issue at the start of their married life, reason being DH thinks you are his and you should listen to him and parents take us to be their little daughter and want us to listen to them.

This is what I normally do. When I face an issue I talk to both my parents and my DH and ask for their suggestions, but I act according to what I feel is correct.

Now, if what I feel right coincides with my parents I don’t tell DH it is their suggestion and vice versa. I just say I am going to do this.

The reason is my DH and my parents(especially mom) are both possessive about me, so I keep them both apart. I have already drawn the line saying no, you don’t talk about my parents; I am your wife your suggestion stops there, so nothing beyond that can be tolerated. To my parents you cannot interfere in his affairs, I am your daughter so stop your interference there not to extend it to him.

Now drawing the line and making them understand takes time but you need to do it with patience for maintaining decorum in the family in the long run.

Thanks
Malar

 

On second thoughts, it is better to discuss things with your husband and decide jointly. Also, if the decision goes wrong there will no finger pointing at your parents and things will be peaceful. Pls think from that angle. Also, since we woman expect that our husbands should discuss with us and ask for our opinion i think it is only fair to return the favour.

 

listen to that thing between your ears. always.

 

Definitely by seeing your OP and the latest post, I feel you should be at your DH side only.It is not a sin.Don't worry.

 

Please remember everyone else-mum,dad,bro etc..will only be part of your life temporarily-dh is for life-for you-and always remember you cant please all all the time-listen to your heart carefully & you will get the right answer!!!!