Fear of Birth....Need advice

Hi All,

I have been married for a year and planning for a child now.I am terribly worried about the pain of labour and i don't know whether i will be able to handle it.

I would like to know how is labour and what do you feel like when you are in labour.Does the contractions hurt or the pushing stage??

Is epidural a good choice???????

Jayashree.

 

Hi Jayashree,

Even I was very scared of the labor pain etc...specially after seeing so many nerve wracking movie scenes specifically pertaining to this...

However, my experience with the whole thing was that if you remain active during your pregnancy (like taking regular walks etc), learn breathing exercises and opt for epidural during labor, then the whole thing is a breeze.

Epidural is the greatest invention made for women, believe you me. The pain went away in 2 minutes...even the biggest contraction, I could hardly feel any pain...even during pushing. So my advice is that go for epidural, it will make the whole pain go away.

take care,
Aarushi

 

Hi..

I just came to know that i am pregnant. This is my first pregnancy. I am very happy about going to have a baby, but I have the fear of labor pain too. I am even worried about the internal examination that the GYN might perform on the first visit. Can someone tell me whether it will be painful. Also can someone tell me whether epidural anesthesia is available in Chennai for a normal vaginal delivery? Because as i have understood, only people who have C-section get spinal anesthesia.

More suggestions/counselling welcome on this topic. It will be heartwarming to hear all that!

Cheers,
Radhee.

 

The best advice I got when I was where you are now, was from an older Indian neighbor lady in Canada who said, "You'll come up to it when the time comes," and I did. I am not minimizing the pain or discomfort. Well, do get an epidural-they give it also for normal deliveries and it helps but make sure you have an efficient anesthesiologist helping your Gynecologist.

Have your mom stay with you if you like. My daughter found it to be helpful.


My daughter has four children and I was there for the birth of three but not for her third delivery. Her second baby, a son was actually born in 1999, at home, quite unexpectedly into my inexperienced hands! Imagine my fear! I called the 911 since the hospital response was very slow and with a couple of emergency medical support teams arriving [none of whom had actually delivered a baby beforeshakehead, and yet, we somehow came through with flying colors for this boy is beautiful, strong and my daughter told me later that was the best of all her deliveries-[no epidural, no stitches! not even too much bleeding:hatsoff]. Child-birth is such a natural process.


So, you'll do just fine...when the time comes-do practice deep breathing regularly-that really helps you relax and work with your body instead of against it.

Good Luck
Malathi

 

Hi Jayashree/Radhee,
All women are scared of labour....you are definitely not alone. I always used to tell myself that what millions of women have done before me I too can do. In the event it was unnecessary as I ended up with a C-section (for many reasons) and did not have a single contraction! Epidurals are available in Chennai for a vaginal delivery. You do need to discuss this with your doctor beforehand as not all hospitals offer them and you may therefore need to be admitted in one that does. Most obs in India do not do internals until the last trimester unless absolutely necessary. And I will say it is uncomfortable rather than painful. You just need to relax your pelvic muscles in order for the procedure to be as easy as possible. So relax and enjoy your pregnancy!

Vanathi.

 

Hi Jayashree,

I have not faced labor and delivery yet, I am currently in my 7th month of pregnancy.

I will not be able to give you first hand experience of how the labor pain will be, but I wanted to share with you my experience so far in my pregnancy.

I was also very very scared of childbirth and labor and pain (I have been very fussy even as a child and couldn't stand even a little discomfort or pain that I used to complain so much for even a minor irritation) and had delayed having a baby for almost four years after marriage (for many reasons, out of which fear of pain is also one...)

But when I decided to have a baby, and once the little one came into my life, my anticipation to see and hold my little one and my love for my baby grew enoromously that I mentally became so relaxed about all the pain. I felt that the little discomfort and pain that we have to go through in the process is nothing when compared to the end reward. I won't say that I am not at all scared. Infact, as the due date for delivery comes closer, I am getting freaked up now and then. But still I strongly believe that god has given me the determination and strength to face it till now and I also believe that I will handle it well when I go for my delivery. I am sure that you will also feel the same way when you get pregnant and get that confidence.

I keep thinking of my grandmom's days when they delivered babies at home without anything to manage the pain. We are in a much better position than them.
The concept of epidural is such a relief, and as Adhusmom suggested, they are available in Chennai. So, do some research on it and decide what is good for you.

All the best. Good luck to you.

 

Hi All,

Thanks for sharing your experiences with me.

I also wanted to know how the contractions feel like.Can you get the epidural before the contractions get worse??

Which is the difficult phase : the first stage or pushing stage??

Thanks everyone for the valuable thoughts.

Jayashree

 

Go to the U.S. National Library of Medicine's free but authoritative Patient-education website and learn all about childbirth and view videos of childbirth etc. at:
MedlinePlus: Childbirth

Start here:
Labor and Birth(National Women's Health Information Center)
Vaginal Birth(Patient Education Institute) - Requires Flash Player


While there may be pros and cons, my ex daughter in law did deliver her baby under water but I don't know if this is being offered widely. It is another option to consider. Obstetricians may have some reluctance because of their primary concern for the infant but the objections raised to it thus far such as infection also exist in dry-birthing environment. Anyway your doctor's expertise and knowledge/experience etc are very important no matter what method you choose. Also you will need to work closely with your team. I used to sit in a sanitized tub filled with clean, pure tepid water during my pregnancy and it eased many discomforts.

Do paln on having your mother and husband near you when you deliver, holding your hand and coaching you in breathing in and out in rythm with your contractions [Do you attend LaMaze classes for Delivery-breathing techniques ?]

1. <LI class=document>See also:
   <LI class=document>Dealing with Pain during Childbirth (Nemours Foundation)
   ... childbirth philosophies in the United States are the Lamaze technique and the Bradley method. The Lamaze technique ... is the most widely used method in ... the United States. The Lamaze philosophy teaches that birth is a normal, natural, ...
   
   
   
   
   kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/pregnancy/childbirth_pain.html - External Health Links
2. Childbirth Education: Get Ready for Labor and Delivery (Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research)
   ... focus on specific methods of childbirth. For example: Lamaze. The goal of Lamaze is to increase confidence ... in your ability to ... give birth. Lamaze classes help you learn how to respond to ...
   
   
   
   
   www.mayoclinic.com/print/pregnancy/PR00119/METHOD=print - External Health Links

Wishing you good Luck and a safe and smooth delivery,
Malathi

 

Pregnant women and their husbands pray Lord Thayumanavar for a safe labor and offer Plantains to the God after delivering healthy baby.


According to legend, there was a woman living on the other side of river Cauvery, who visited this temple everyday. She had been visiting the temple for many years, which she continued to do even during her pregnancy.One day after she finished the Dharshan, she found that the river was flooded and she cannot cross the river. As she waited for the river flow to subside, she developed severe labour pain. People around stopped her from going back home. She was thinking of her mother who can help her in labour. Lord Shiva came to her in disguise of her mother and helped her in delivering the child safely and disappeared. Later her actual mother came asking about her, the woman realised that it was Lord Shiva who came to her rescue in disguise. As Lord Shiva himself served her devotee as her mother, here the main diety is called as "Thayumanavar" (God, who is also the "Mother"). The same incident is celebrated as a festival called "Chettipenn Maruthuvam" festival on the 5th day of Chithirai Festival at the temple.

Do not fear. Have faith that everything will go well for you.
Malathi:hatsoff

 

Malathy - Nice story and thanks for the links.

Thanks a lot for posting.

Take care.