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Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sita2223, Jan 17, 2011.

  1. srajitha

    srajitha Silver IL'ite

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    another incident was from my SIL

    She has been preg twice till now. The other day she came to my place and was giving me free advices to eat lot Papaya , sesame seeds , pineapple , lift heavy objects even after knowing that I am preg:bowdown gr8 lady. When her hubby told her what kind of advices she was giving me , she was like I didnt knew that preg woman shouldn't eat these:bonk .
     
  2. harinisripada

    harinisripada Gold IL'ite

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    Dear srajitha,

    Please be careful and DONT eat ANYTHING prepared by your SIL during your pregnancy!

    Harini

     
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  3. srajitha

    srajitha Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Harini ,

    Yeah I agree with you , to be frank they hardly do anything for me , when I was in my 2nd month my mil sent Kajjikaya(sweet dish) she filled it with full of sesame seeds , she knows that I shouldn't eat all these in my early preg but still she did it , it was good that I checked it :) .

    Before I was preg they were at the back of me for a grandchild and were taunting me, when I am preg they r like this....

    Another incident , this happened on Diwali , I was 3 months preg by then and had bad lower abdomen pain , we went to there place & my hubby took there blessings by touching their feet , even I got up to do so , but my hubby stopped me , my mil has created a big issue out of it ,she started cursing me and was coming onto me like devil shouting out loud that I must die , I have ruined there life ,took there son away and what not , good that my hubby supports me , he immediately said she has lower abdomen pain and is unable to do any bending work and he took me away.
     
  4. poojachinoy

    poojachinoy Gold IL'ite

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    i have a long list of pregnancy woes which ended in a miscarriage :(((....

    1) we had a party at our place..she and sils created such a big scene out of it that we din inform them and are hosting ourselves...i was just 40 days pregnant that time...so sils adviced mil and fil not to work or help us out..they used to sit and stare while i cooked cleaned....and to top of it fought with me a lot daily on this issue..damn to the sils n mil,fil

    2) she used to give me dates everyday to eat..i refused stating they will be too hot for the pregnancy..she used to force them..i was not eating water melons as my mom had said that it could result in asthama to the baby..though me being a dentist dont go with it i did avoid it because i just dint want any harm to the baby in any way...one of my sil calls and says evn her mom (mil) said the same thing so better not have it...but mil and fil used to force me to eat it even when my husband is saying dont..used to taunt me on it

    3) i used to have 7-8 vommittings daily and was unable 2 cook food...she never used to even ask me for food..nothing used to be cooked til 6 in the evening..i used to then get up and cook ..for that also she used to create a big scene stating that i should cook only what she likes..not what i like..even if i am pregnant...my husband used to come from work and take me outside to eat..for that also she used to create a big mess...what do i do....

    4)she called my sil to stay over for 3 wks when i was in my second month...this one sil was helping me in cooking...when i went for my health check up the doc said that the baby is not growing..i will have to take hcg blood test..it has to be taken 48 hrs apart...mil had kept a party in those 48 hrs and made me cook chicken..my husband fought with her a lot over this issue...

    cnt remember more...anyways it resulted in a miscarriage...only person at loss is me...not even my husband,i feel...i seriously want to seperate from in laws and live an independent life..please ladies give some suggestions on how to seperate..i spoke with my husband about it..in the begining he was like i will think on it..now he is sayin no firmly...
     
  5. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    I am very sorry to hear about your miscarriage Puja...If you cannot tolerate your in laws just keep bare minimum contact with them. Only when you ask you something answer minimum... don't start conversation by yourself. Try to be emotionally independant if dh not listening.......Take very very good care of your health as much as possible before your plan another baby.......GL!!
     
  6. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    Sarjitha,
    I know for sure in our culture pregnant ladies should not touch anyone's feet. And also when you visit temples you don't do namaskaras when you are pregnant. Even during baby shower ( sreemantha) this is followed.
    I feel so sad when I hear women behaving so badly towards another woman.
    Hope all of you find peace and strength.
     
  7. sheel

    sheel Bronze IL'ite

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    Sumthing funny hapenned today morning..

    SInce I am pregnant..I am staying at my in-laws place and my husband is not with me..since he works out of town..Daily I call him and wake him up..today somehow due to work in kitchen..i forgot..My DH dialled my number..since it was silent he dropped a msg..Since I did not see..He was worried about me and he calle dme at landline to ask if I was ok or you say just to wish Gud mng...We talked about 2 mins and he kept the phone..

    Later my MIL created a big scene that I am taking his son away from him,why doesnt he talk to her in mng..They bot do lot of talking in afternoon and night on phone..now this lady thought I am taking away her duties and why am i coming fwd..SHe was like..I have given him birth..ufff..how can a person talk to all family members all time..Stupid lady..And on top of that she keeps on saying these when I am pregnant...Though i listen from one ear and drop out from 2nd..but still somewhere in heart you fell bad..
     
  8. srajitha

    srajitha Silver IL'ite

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    Seriously , I dont understand why they have have to behave like this when we are preg ...:rant

    I felt very bad when I read what happened with you Pooja , Dont worry dear you will be preg again and this time please move to your mom's place from the 2nd month itself. Dont care for what they think & say , just tell them you need rest and it is possible only at your mom's place.

    Now-a-days there is this new drama at my mil's place , she serves food for my hubby and asks me to wait till he finishes , once he completes I serve myself and she then says , ' do you need to eat , are you really hungry???':drowning
    I have almost became immune to those words , I just dont care for them , if I feel hungry I would just eat off saying , yes yes I am hungry and I must eat and give her a devil smile :bonk
     
  9. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    What kind of behaviour is this????? Rajitha, what does your husband have to say to this? Does he not stand up for you against his mom?
     
  10. poojachinoy

    poojachinoy Gold IL'ite

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    thanks for your replies srajitha and proud indian..you guys gave me good advices..i am keeping my talk to a minimum..but with that also its a problem..seems its disrespectful of me to be silent with them..i have no words..i am blanked out in my life right now....will consider moving to my mom's place when i am pregnant the second time around...but that will be like to india from states...i have no family here...lets see how it will work out...
     

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