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Issue with my friend

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by gujulady, Jan 17, 2012.

  1. gujulady

    gujulady Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks Rose, Sandhya,Bay areaindian and jgvr for your replies. You all are giving me confidence to think and act in right direction.

    Sandhya.. I 'm thinking in the same lines as you mentioned. Earlier I thought to just drop it off and stay away from her.
    But now as you said I may have to deal with her again.
     
  2. gaya3s

    gaya3s New IL'ite

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    Hi Guja,
    I would say, sometimes we should change our perspective when dealing with ppl...
    You have been such a nice hearted to inform ur friend/ acquaint even though you did not have job.... Why do you hurt yourself for that now...

    As Rose mentioned "mentioning your name may/maynot work in favour for her" or she might have thought to prove only her qualification... and again about informing you, she might have felt insecure in telling about a failed interview, could have thought of telling you, after getting the offer......
    Am not justifying her act, it is WRONG.... But her insecurities might have made her to behave so...

    -Gaya3
     
  3. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Gujulady,

    Simplest would be to give a cool reply to her latest email saying no nothing is wrong that she contacted the person you referred. you were simply surprised to receive the email becos you didnt know she had gone for interview. Just reply to the point and leave it. Take at face value whatever she replies or gives excuse. she may say she didnt get time to tell you etc whatever. Just say okay and be normal. Dont bring future into it Dont make future promises of no help, and dont commit to future help either. Just evade if she asks. that is all later. extricate out of this first. If she probes about why the employer emailed you dismiss it saying you dont know him at all, this is just professional courtesy for referral, some people do it others dont. all are not like that. Keep her guessing ;). It is clear she is trying to save situation, maybe she got some advise after seeing your first fwd mail, thats why her first reply was cool and she made sure to include a thanks to you. Like that you be cool too. Afterwards you sort your emotions and decide what to do with the relationship.
     
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  4. gujulady

    gujulady Bronze IL'ite

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    I followed Sandhya's advise and I replied to her.
    I have made up my mind. I 'm not going to care what ever she replies. I doubt she will say sorry... blah..
    Definitely she is not the kind of friend whom I would like to hang out with.
    For me friends mean more than just having fun or having a glass of wine with..
    I was more irked when she replied first time. There was no sorry.. or any kind of excuse for not telling me.. instead it was all about herself as how hard and aggressively she is trying for a job and she will contact other employers whom I had referred and finally one word "Thanks a ton." Even after catching her red handed there was so single word of apology/any kind words.
     
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