Hyperactive Child

cuetypiein · Jun 11, 2007

Hey people,
I am mother of a 1.9 yr old girl. She is very normal in all ways but the only thing is her hyperactivity. She cannot stay still for more than 10 seconds. She has to keep dng things. She is not interested in toys or kitchen utensils. She just luvs roaming around in the house, or pulling things down from the cupboards or kitchen platforms. She demands a lot of my attention. The surprising part is she is not so hyperactive when she is with her father. That thought disturbs me a lot. Sumtimes when her wishes are not fulfilled she starts crying and then if i ignore her she gets a little unbearable and then she stops on her own. But i seriously dont know when to ignore and when not to. Becoz she crys for everything starting from demanding milk when she wakes up in the mrng and then when im changing her diapers, while feeding her ( a very fussy eater) , while putting her to sleep (as she is very persistent on getting a particular position while sleeping), while putting her to bath as she insists on playing with water ( Im scared that she may ingest the water as she gets food poisoning off and on), while taking her out to the park for a walk( we ve a park in our complex which also has a swimming pool and she insists that she enter the pool and if i dont let her then there she creates a small scene but can be taken care of with lot of effort on my side). So u c any thing requires a lot of effort from my side. Sumtimes i feel so tired of taking care of her. Im sure its not becoz i luv her any less but just that the effort makes me feel tired and at times i get up in the mrng thinking how will i get past this day.

I was never able to breast feed her properly as she refused to breast feed. Im sure all of u must b thinking how can a child refuse that. But believe me I used to sit for almost 45-50 mnts feeding this child but she wud just suck the niple and go to sleep. It was very frustrating. I had a very good job which i quite post her birth so I cud b with her full time but everything went hay wires. I stopped breast feeding her after 5 months becoz by then it was battle keeping her close to my breast. I tried all positions, sitting,sleeping but in vain.

Probably that struggle , i dont know if it created any aversion towards me. I wudnt exactly call it aversion but just that she cant b pacified easily and just seems so restless all the while. I need to watch 24*7 to c that she isnt upto any mischief.

I feel so sad and tired somedays. Many kids that i c around me are not at all like her. To add to it when I was pregnant with her there were huge problems between my inlwas and parents which created quite a stir between me and my hubby and which continues even today. WE never share a similar opinion when it comes to our daughter. Also never am i comfortable leaving my kid with my inlaws. They are not bad in anyway and i know they take good care but it doesnt match my standards and they feel i dont reach thier standards in child rearing. So u c my daughter has been living in confusion and difference of opinions from the time she was born. Sometimes i feel she is so becoz of al that. My hubby believes that its fully becoz of the tensions that were there around us when i was pregnant with her.

Any body cud u please offer any suggestions.

Anamika29 · Jun 12, 2007

Dear friend. Sorry but my english is not that good. I hope you understand it.
What you have just told is very normal, don't think it is strange. Don't think something is wrong with you, your family, etc.
The important thing is what can you do to make the situation better.
So:
a) about your girl: choose activities to help her concentrate, calm, and manage her emotions. give her calm music to listen to, put calm music while bathing her, speak in low voice, play games of moving slowly, and games of eye contact. Sit and play with her. Make yourself a needed person to play not just to work. tell her many stories in slow motion so that she lerns to be calm to listen to it. touch her a lot: skin with skin. Don't let her have free time: give her structure. Find a way of pacifiing. a teddy, a hug, some music. Talk to her dactor about this: sometimes babies need to learn that they feel better when they are relaxed and sometimes is good to give them some relaxing tea (like camomile) for 1 month so that they can experiment the feeling of that.
b) about your husband: do you think she is more calm with him because when he's home he is not working all the time? It is important he understands what you're doing with her and agree with it. it is important that rules ans all things are the same to her eyes.
c) about your in-laws: the girl should not undewrstand your differences of opinion. The parents should decide on her education.
d) about you: rest, make sure you understand that you need to be happy and well to make others kappy. Don't fight with your daughter, work in getting her on your side. make her understand your feelings, make her want to please you.
Best Regards

Huma · Jun 13, 2007

hi sri
u remind me of myself....everything will b alright when the baby will be older.

i think u handle the situation very good. carry on......

bye

sammy05 · Jan 3, 2008

2.5 yr and out of control

Hi,
I have a 2.5 yr old daughter and she is the most naughty kid i've seen in my life.In simple words "SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY".bonk
She cannot play by herself even for 1 SECOND.She is constantly running behind me and glued to me.
She yells,screams and hits other kids for no reason at all. We don't hit her at home,but i don't know where she learnt it from.I always tell her not to do that very softly and lovingly but in vain.tsk
She cannot stay without us either so she tells she doesn't want to play with other kids nor go to school.Plz help me as to what to do as she has a very loud voice and screams,so i'm getting really tensed about the school.That too i heard in us that they call the parents if the kid cries constantly.She does that b'coz i tried the childcare and they couldn't take care of her as she yells,throws things and keeps crying till we attend her.
I"M DEPRESSED.PLZ HELP
TIMEOUTS DID NOT WORK

Srama · Jan 3, 2008

Re: 2.5 yr and out of control

Hi Sammy,

At 2.5 your child seems to be highly energetic and her behaviour might be her way of making use of her energy. It will help you if you learn to channelize her energy in different ways. The best way to do that is sticking to a routine and getting her to sleep well during her naps - I am sure you are doing your best. But have an activity for every ither day of the week like grocery, library (story time), park etc....keep this constant around the same time. She will begin to anticipate and look forward to it. Keep a time and follow it. If you cannot get out of the house, still keep a schedule like story time, artwork, reading a book, tv time etc. Kids look forward to routine and she will soon begin to look forward to things. About 2.5 is when most kids are ready for social interaction (mostly as parallel play though). If you start her in a day care, don't do it 5days a week, instead start 2-3 days and keep it in the middle of the week like start tuesday and end thursday and keep it half a day too. She will eventually begin to like it and you can keep your routine for the rest of the two days. Ofcourse while she is still a baby and hitting happens sometimes, she needs to understand that she will be given time out. At the same time, is she behaves well, don't forget to reward.

Finally, most important of all is don't show your frustation to her - kids react to that very easily. Keep your calm and you really shouldn't worry about sending her to school, even is she cries and screams, she will eventually learn to adapt. The other thing you can do is when you go to check out day cares, take her along to three or four places even if you have decided on a place, show her a classroom, stay with her and play for 20-30mins. Do this for 3 0r 4 days and then start leaving leaving of your choice. It will be very hard for a couple of weeks, but she will begin to enjoy. If you give in to her and take her off, she will feel she can get her way. Anyways, she will start preschool and it is a good idea to start her now!
Hope this helps and good luck!

Neeti · Jan 3, 2008

Re: 2.5 yr and out of control

I don't think she is naughty but she seems hyperactive .She is like other kids .As Srama said chanalize her energy .Try to find out what kind of intrest she has.use techniques of distraction, rhythm, and finding appropriate outlets for her energy If she likes music put a CD and dance with her .if you can't go out play indoor games do online activity made for toddlers.There are lots of rhymes video with action on you tube watch along with her .I'm sure she will like these .Finally, try to find outlets for her energy by getting her to engage in productive, rather than destructive, activities.The most effective way to encourage good behavior from her is to praise when she is being good.Do not say negative in front of her .Keep yourself cool.
And if these things doesn't work discuss with her doctor .

humerarouf · Jan 3, 2008

Re: 2.5 yr and out of control

hi sammy,have patience .why dont to take her out to the nearest park and let her watch other children play and while she gets attracted towards them you sit comfortably in a bench this may require a number of trips and i think you should allow her to be more independent buy her a key board and you watch her from a distance while she makes her own music you should also take her along to your reltives she should see her elders socialising.best of luck let us know when she makes her first friend.humera

aishu22 · Jan 3, 2008

Re: 2.5 yr and out of control

Dear Sammy,
As Neeti said, ur Daughter seems to be hyper active.My Bro's daughter is just 2 yrs old and shes exactly the same minus the hitting habit.She hardly sleeps.

To change the hitting habit, please do not threaten her while feeding or for any mistake she does like" If u r not eating that person will hit you".. kinda phrases..The kids grasp them so easily.Avoid her from seeing any kinda action movies or advts on TV too...

You can equip her with lot of Jigsaw puzzles for numbers/Alphabets etc..Divert her mind from wasting her energy from screaming.As Humera has suggested you can try taking her to parks too..

I know its easy to say and difficult to do/handle that kid...

Good Luck with ur kiddo...

malarvp · Jan 3, 2008

Re: 2.5 yr and out of control

Hi Sammy,

kids between 2 and 4 will be the most naughtiest. they seem to understand everything,but behave as though they don't understand. And your daughter seems to be hyper active. as other Il's had suggested you can take her to the park in your community and let her play with other kids. before you do that you trian her at home saying if she can behave good then only u can take her to the park. and tell in a positive way that if she can play along other kids she will have a lot of fun. and if she keeps hitting others she cannot make friends, etc. also start telling about school that she can get to play, paint, do crafts, etc. but these can happen only if she behaves good and share with other kids.

but remember, thing cannot change immediately. you just keep telling her and she'll understand in few days. amke her watch some kids tv programs like barney, cailou, etc. from that she can learn about sharing and making friends.

Cheers,
Malar

charvihema · Feb 18, 2008

Re: 2.5 yr and out of control

hai saammy
i am also having the same age girl baby.same problem i am also facing now.but engage them by the way what they like.u can show Welcome to Barney.com, the Official Barney & Friends website. or www.starfalls.com or Teletubbies Online Shop u want sit with them and spend ur times.barney will help u tell how to love each other manners and good habbits to child easily.:********
bye,
hema