Husband unsupportive during pregnancy

bukbuk · Dec 1, 2011

I had a m/c earlier and and pregnant again and naturally terrified. I try not to worry as much as I can, however, in order to ease my mind, I try discussing few concerns with my husband at night. We both work and evenings are the only time we spend together.

My husband gets agitated/irritated when I speak my concern to him. It drives him nuts thinking am worrying unnecessarily. Its not that I speak about my concern the whole days. I speak just for sometime in the evening, and he wouldn't want to hear that.

I don't have any family or friends here to talk to, I always believed my husband is my best friend. I can discuss anything with him but this. Today we even had a long verbal fight following our altercation.

At times I talk about quitting my job if any problem arises but he's not 100% supportive with that either. He doesn't like such talks at all. We don't have any financial problems. He needs this baby as badly as me.

I don't know why he can't set his priorities right, and treat me with much more care. Am looking for some additional care from him but he hardly has any for me (I feel) now that am pregnant. He is busy browsing or watching cricket most of the time, busy in his own world, after he gets back from work.

Can someone suggest what should I do?

Sreyavas · Dec 2, 2011

hey bukbuk ..,

so sad to hear ur story but these men are like that they just don't want to understand wife pain .. , they can just think of getting what they want it does'nt matter how he gets it . i was in this similar kind of situation during my pregnancy and i can understand your situation very well.

but one thing if he really wants the baby this time he should show some extra care and concern that i do'nt see here .nor worried may be u will be worried seeing him worried i don't know. but he definitely need to show some concern here as he is sending negative signals to u.. And it is leading you to worry more.

I would suggest you stop worrying about your dh reaction and think positive that nothing would happen and build confidence in yourself that this time you are gonna make it work . how r the reports and what does doc say for this time ?

As far as frnds or family...,Is your's love marriage ? if not then call your family and talk to them . if yes then you can be in touch with me and i will pray that everything goes well for you.

keep smiling..,

JGVR · Dec 2, 2011

His inner fear to have this baby at any cost is what is making him agitated towards you when you express your fear.Do not fear or get agitated.Have a positive attitude and be confident that you will have a very successful pregnancy.Some men are so fearful of facing negativity so that doesn't mean he will not take good care of you.Change your thinking and think and be positive and then you will certainly feel the difference in him also.

27csweetangel · Dec 2, 2011

bukbuk said: ↑

I had a m/c earlier and and pregnant again and naturally terrified. I try not to worry as much as I can, however, in order to ease my mind, I try discussing few concerns with my husband at night. We both work and evenings are the only time we spend together.

My husband gets agitated/irritated when I speak my concern to him. It drives him nuts thinking am worrying unnecessarily. Its not that I speak about my concern the whole days. I speak just for sometime in the evening, and he wouldn't want to hear that.

I don't have any family or friends here to talk to, I always believed my husband is my best friend. I can discuss anything with him but this. Today we even had a long verbal fight following our altercation.

At times I talk about quitting my job if any problem arises but he's not 100% supportive with that either. He doesn't like such talks at all. We don't have any financial problems. He needs this baby as badly as me.

I don't know why he can't set his priorities right, and treat me with much more care. Am looking for some additional care from him but he hardly has any for me (I feel) now that am pregnant. He is busy browsing or watching cricket most of the time, busy in his own world, after he gets back from work.

Can someone suggest what should I do?
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This behaviour is common with many husbands..what can be done men are like that..but i think, men are not that expressive and emotional like women..my suggestion wuld be dont stress urself over this matter..i know this very special for both of you..if he gets irritated over your concerns..just try to avoid them,..you can talk to mom about ur problems i am sure she will listen to you no matter what ..just let go Be happy..