mother expecting money from married daughter indirectly

Not all girls are bold or can speak things openly. Its their nature. Somethings might be easy for others to share with husbands whereas few people like might be hesitant, shy or have unwanted fears and that is why we think of IL first.. Its in no way wrong to write to IL.

 

Agreed Anupama,

OP already knows her husband is a very nice person... See even now when she asked, he immediately said he is ready to transfer money... So, dont u think tht it would be really nice if she can talk to her husband first when he is soo good to her... M sure her husband would be the best person to solver her problem, where as we all can only give suggestions... Thts why I said, she could have asked him... Nothin else...

 

aries21,

u r most welcome....i hope everythn works well......

 

I too never said all daughters are like tht... I mentioned only a few... N I am not here to argue with u... When I said tht u could have talked to ur husband first, I did not mean tth u should not come to ILs.. I have no rights to say tht to anyone here because I myself have approached ILs for many of my doubts n problems n have got good response from everyone... I just thgt tht u could have spoken to ur husband as he is a very nice person n tht could have solved the problem there itself... N when I mentioned it, I also particularly said tht I just gave my opinion n I did not say it for u to follow... N I dont expect it too... Its ur wish to do what u want... If u post something on a public forum n u expect replies, people will give u suggestions... N if u find fault in each and every thing they say, m sorry I dont know what to say.. I apologised to u when u said my first post hurt u.. N I again apologise for tht.. But I dont think I need to say anything or apologise for my second post to u, because if u had taken it otherwise, I cant do anything about tht.. It was just my suggestion n it was not telling u not to come to ILs... I will never do tht... Hope u understand... N dont worry, u have not hurt me in anyway... I really dont get hurt or dont care when someone online misunderstands me for something which I never even thought of... I think both of us ahve made things clear n there is'nt any need for another post explaining things more... Tc...

 

hey ladies..i just happend to read this tread and was thinking why did this topic come under retrun to india

 

I havent read all the replies on this thread...but at first glance what I feel is you have some COMPLEX .....there is something hidden in your mind rather than your mom expecting something...

Why dont you just listen to what she says and leave it there instead of taking it on you as if your mom is openly asking you money etc!! Did she ever ask you openly to send money or that they need money from you?? did she ask you straightforward? pls answer this question for me.


Women in general just TALK...your mom or you or your friends...they just want to be heard...they dont want their issues to be resolved as there are not real big issues....they talk for the sake of talking sometimes...as you are her daughter she may be just talking something....blindly....

pls dont try to put such allegations on her!!unless she openly is demanding money from you!!! (Which I do not think is the case!!! pls clarify)

If she is openly demanding or asking for money.....explain to her about your situation that you are house wife and you cannot expect your husband to send money as your parents are getting their PF and they have money which they can use...ALSO pls stop taking your moms words seriously...tell her that she has to be very serious when she talks about money things as it would amke you worried about their well being....tell her that only when they are really in dire need and they have no other option thats when she has to talkto you about money...tell that once and leave it there...also have you ever asked her how much is their spending per month? what is the inflow of money and how much they spend and how much are the expenses for medical bills and how they manage etc? sometimes just talking money stuff also helps your mom understand she is not in that bad state that she thinks they might have been...give her that support that she needs....just the support in words...emotional support....which should be enough...women are natural worriers!!! just like the way you are worried about how sh eis asking money and you are not able to help her etc...your mom may also be worried that her daughter is in far off country and may not be ready to take care of them etc...so give her that emotional support and patience...thats what most of the elders want...specially women.

 

Hi,
nice that u have got the solution. Life is all about learning and growing, such situations, smaller or larger are going to often come into our lives, we need to wait , analyze, ask guidance, solve and progress ahead. In the course of solving the situation at hand, we tend to some across some things/persons whom u think are not right and some are right. But ultimate goal is to do a good brainstorming and finding the solutions.
Everyone who comes to this forum with discussion, expects the seniors with more experience will give their point of view and experiences, and with many point of views one can take informed decisions.
You were entirely right in coming to this platform for sharing your concerns and looking for options to handle a particular situation, and @inlovewithmylife, as are others who responded, is also right in expressing her views. I think the need is to absorb everyones point of view and take the best suited path for you. ( as u already did).
All the best.