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Letter to my mother-in-law

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by healing1980, Aug 30, 2011.

  1. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Dhaanika,

    Thanks for explaining about Finest Posts and helping her with the links!

    L, Kamla
     
  2. Anamika99

    Anamika99 Gold IL'ite

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    great job , i wish i can write my stuff to my MIL for real, and let her know how i felt about her before one of us die. She would know behind smiling face i have , behind the person taking care of you with gentle words, she is very annoyed with you and screwed up mentally due to her...

    i wish, i can tell her on face for what all she screwed up for me
     
  3. healing1980

    healing1980 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Kamla,

    I am a little overwhelmed with the kind of response that I've been receiving for this post. It was really just intended as an outlet for my frustration and to clear my head of all the negative feelings I'd been harbouring for some time now.However, It'll be my absolute pleasure if women in similar situations find a solution and solace in this letter.

    Thank you so much for your good wishes and also for all the wonderful things you've written about my post . Though, I'm really not sure if I'm worthy of all this praise. Now, it matters less whether I win or not 'cause I'm already feeling like a winner !!!

    Cheers !
    me
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2011
  4. healing1980

    healing1980 Silver IL'ite

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    A big thank you to everyone else who's read/liked my letter. All the best !!
     
  5. Kituv

    Kituv Senior IL'ite

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    Dear healing1980,

    I cant tell you how proud I am of you. Though my mom in law is a nice lady, i can understand your agony coz thats how my grandmom behaved with my mom and i recall many incidents even today.

    It takes great courage to liberate yourself from someone who has been so bad to you, rather than to continue cursing her. your life is more important.

    Good luck and will definitely pray to Him to give you the strength and courage to stand for yourself.
     
  6. Special

    Special Silver IL'ite

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    Hi read ur letter...its gud u have become more mature enough...make this life much more happier....
     
  7. 27csweetangel

    27csweetangel Silver IL'ite

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    This is such fine piece of writing,makes me think again and again, why is life so unfair for us indian DIL and when will such inlaws stop making their DILs life literally a living hell??..i dont understand what will they achieve in this old age doing such a bad deed..they have been in our place sometime back in their lives ,then why cant they let us live happily, why is life so unfair with us..dear healing ...like you i have i also liberated myself from all relations with my inlaws..really what is my hubby at fault ..he is just getting dragged into fights between me and my inlaws..i as a wife can understand this but his birth givers "my inlaws" don't understand this one simple thing.. i cant see my married life in trashes because of them,,i cant see me and my hubby in this pain..for our better life..because we deserve a better life..i too forgive them..just want to shut that part of memory which reminds me of them..because it is so much pain i can no more bear it.Hate is a very small word ,they don't even deserve my hate..God give me strength!!
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. Anamika99

    Anamika99 Gold IL'ite

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    well said, what they think they r helping with, why can't they see that they r only interferring. We can not even ask DH not to call them and or to have nuclear family poor DH would be like a sandwhich. It is something we need to bear somehow and wait for better time. As long as we get enough vent for resentment we hold

    i do not know about this. I did not know what hatred was, i learned because of them. and for me i feel they very well deserve my hatred and consequence of it, only if i can take it out on them,. Unfortunately not.

    For my peice letter.

    PILs,


    Have not you heard of saying 'dur rahe doorast rahe'. Staying with us half of the year, you are spoiling relationship not only with us but among 3 of us, DH, DS and DIL. Just so that you know, your own son also gets stressful about what will make you feel bad.

    You do not know that what you think as help from you or teaching something to us is not actually that but only interference in our lives. You play with your grand kid, and shower him with love, but what he wears, what he eats, when he sleeps alone, etc...leave it on us. You go and watch TV, have friends in senior citizens club, go for walks, play cards and leave it to us that when our loan gets mowed, when i used that old batter from freezer, what flour we need to buy, when to wash our clothes etc. Enjoy the festival that u get that sweets on your plate, be it diwali or x-mas, leave it to us how to celebrate or what to decorate (or even if to decoarate) etc. We need our time too, understand that and let us have that, instead of having to sit with you, we can go to our room , sleep and read book. We do not need to spend every single minute we r home with you, just because we are out all day working, just because you are for JUST 6 months and that does not mean u think we r nuclear family, know that it is very much a joint family

    bottom line, lets leave under one roof if we have to, but just leave us ALONE
     
  9. neelu12

    neelu12 New IL'ite

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    dear healing1980,

    Hope you are doing well, you have written what exactly is going on my mind right now.I have a question for you ,are you really able to diconnect your thoughts from your MIL? IAm asking you this because I really want to know how did you do so?

    Thanks,
    Neelu.
     
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  10. 27csweetangel

    27csweetangel Silver IL'ite

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    "Hate is a very small word ,they don't even deserve my hate."
    they deserve something worst than hatred i guess,,
    and very well written letter Anamika!!
     
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