Too tired of living with such a bad husband-

Umlaut, I want to clap for you...good u did that..

anjuanju, you r completely emotional trapped...You know this guy is using u..thats it...cant u see...Open ur eyes and read ur thred from other's point of view....No women should bear all this abuse at all...first thing....Second thing...ur guy calls gals massagers....cant he call them in ur presence....if he says he'll not do...still believe me he will do...may be on somebody's house...without telling u...

He is making u fool baby...be grown up...good u do not have child and pls do not ever think about it....ur guy is full of crap...In my point of view if a girl can not stand for herself then she can not be an independent women at all even if she gets job...

 

hi anju-

i'm sorry you're going through all of this. i, myself, was in a horrible marriage and have taken steps to get out of hell on earth. couple of things i'd like to share based on my experience:

(1) i think i remember reading you've been married a while. nothing will change - as someone else said, thank God you don't have children, don't even think about it in this situation.

(2) it's a husband's responsibility to stick up for his wife. he's not doing that for you - when his mom/dad/family say rubbish about you, he should shut them up. if he doesn't, he's not a husband but rather this son/brother/etc. first.

(3) don't quit your job - that's your lifeline to freedom.

(4) he's having relations outside of your marriage - he might contract something during these 'massages' and pass it on to you - you should be careful.

(5) we all want to be hopeful about the men we've married. but you should think - what if he never changes - what if he stays like this forever? am i willing to tolerate this? in my case, i put off divorce for 2 years and then came to the realization that i could pull the divorce trigger now or be forced into a life of misery for a few more years and then succumb to divorce - i decided better to do it now while i'm young and can re-start my life.

(6) i never told my family about any of the bad stuff that went on in my marriage - silence is a killer. tell your mom - i kept things from my parents because i didnt want to upset them and make them worry. but my parents always knew something was wrong. tell, tell, tell. you need someone to give you advice, to be your shelter.

(7) if he's beating you and youve come to the decision to end things, call the police, have him deported. why the heck not? he can't just mess up your life. threaten his parents with all this too. being a wifely, submissive woman will get you nowhere. the women that have strong marriages hold the whip and don't worry about what the mom in law thinks - that wife does what she wants, when she wants and makes people fear her.

good luck.

 

Hi Anju,
It is very difficult for a person to change if he has extra relationships outside marriage..IF u r not thr he can get tht *** from anybody else so satisfy his physical needs.. collect some proofs abt his character like photographs or what ever proofs with other women
My suggestion would be just consult a lawyer and try to get a divorce (take some alimony from him) . No matter it is tough for a women to move on, men easily moves on ..u hav already wasted 3 long years dont waste further..probably after 2 years u will forget the pain u hav passed through and find some one suitable..never leave ur job probably u can relocate once u get a divorce.