1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Girls wishing to stay apart from In-laws - your thoughts?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by harinisen, Jul 28, 2011.

  1. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,499
    Likes Received:
    2,343
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    That is so true Umlaut. A young woman is usually busy with a career, further education, bringing up kids, kids' education, learning new skills etc. that she hardly has time to think about family politics and bickering with in laws. In laws on the other hand have all the time in the world to plot and scheme, watch saas- bahu serials on TV, learn new tactics from them and try them on the DIL. This is all the ILs are expected to do.
     
    2 people like this.
  2. akilasendhil

    akilasendhil New IL'ite

    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    hi all,
    just understood that ones personal thought can't be a solution for ones problem.i have a baby so my MIL was there with me so what.i didn't posted that reply to hurt anyone.i did't meant that every girls are splitting the family but in the sense not to go seperate.i'm not insisting everyone to do so because everyone were not me! this forum is all about ones personal thought in a particular statement and not to advice everyone.and i ever urged anyone to tolerate all the tortures of their in-laws and and stay along with them. everyone has their own future and no one has rights to poke nose in ones personal life unecessary.i too mean it.
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2011
  3. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,499
    Likes Received:
    2,343
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Akilasendil, your MIL was with you when you had your baby. So, even you don't live with your ILs. I can't understand on what basis you can say that girls should live with ILs. I find it rather hypocritical that you have the opinion that girls should live with ILs, but you are not practicing yourself. Rest assured that no one was 'hurt' by your post. We are just questioning your opinion.
     
  4. akilasendhil

    akilasendhil New IL'ite

    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    hi monita,
    i was living with my MIL for past 5 years and my hubby got job in shanghai andso we shifted here just 6 months back and because of my delivary, all my IN-LAWS are back now .so my opinion is not hypocritical.
    apart from these lets be good friends.
     
  5. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,499
    Likes Received:
    2,343
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Akilasendil,
    I didn't know you have been living away from ILs only since 6 months. So you have mostly lived with Ils. Yes, that means I was wrong in calling you a hypocrite. Sorry about that.
    Cheers.
     
  6. sherin78

    sherin78 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    491
    Likes Received:
    121
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    I was raised up more or less in a joint family. My dad's elder brother and us were residing on the same building on ground and first floor. till my 4th year we all were living under the same roof. There were numerous visits by my dad's sisters in a year. My mom and her other two cosisters had a tough time while my grandmother was alive and thereafter.
    Now in the next generation, all my male cousins still continue with the tradition of joint families.
    But the major difference is they are not allowing their parents to dominate their wives. Similarly many of my friends too live in joint families. The men in these families stand by their wives in all troubled times.
    i believe that makes the wives to continue living with the inlaws. Moreover the living pattern is not like wives remain in the backstage, where men in the household has sole right to take a decision, women confined to cooking alone, or the time spent with the wives is only nocturnal. But it is just the reverse. They tend to stay
    'NUCLEAR' in a joint family. The parents dont insist that they have to travel with their son when ever he steps out of the house with his wife and children. I dont mean to say all my relatives are saints. If they have any problem with the DIL's they say in a amiable tone or keep it to themselves. But ill treatment of DIL's are not allowed because their son's do not approve of it. So the joint family works only if you have your spouse defending you. DIL's may adjust however troublesome the inlaws provided she has the support of her husband.
     
    2 people like this.
  7. Keerti16

    Keerti16 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    52
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
     
    sheztheone and (deleted member) like this.
  8. billybob

    billybob Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    596
    Likes Received:
    104
    Trophy Points:
    108
    Gender:
    Female
    Seroiusly I have seen many broken families, few homicides and sons in jail due to MIl.
     
  9. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,369
    Likes Received:
    365
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Gender:
    Female
    My mil got involved in her nephews marriage one night and the couple ended up duking it out, with both the nephew and his wife thrown in jail. Ironically, the fight instigator (my MIL) ended up getting off scott free. When you say you have seen broken families and homicide due to MIL's, I totally 100% believe you, because I've seen it too. It's disgusting.
     
  10. akilasendhil

    akilasendhil New IL'ite

    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    hi dears,
    hope that everyone was angry with me.
    questionning yourself that what happened to this girl?why did she posted such a stupid post?
    yes i was!.actually that one was my first post immediately after joining the IL.so i didn't went through any threads or posts before writing that.as the topic was your thought(my thought) on a particular topic,so i posted my thoughts and opinion about that.
    i wrote that by keeping my mil in mind and didn't considered others who have strange MILs.
    as we are all brought up by some ethics and duties that should be followed after our marriage.by god's grace,some will get nice n good in-laws but some might get strange and cruel hearted.in that case,we could not follow those advices which are thought by our parents.
    i realised this after reading number of threads and posts in IL.felt really bad and worried as my friends and sisters are suffering in the hands of those cruel minded MILs and in-laws.
    if i went wrong anywhere in that post,kindly forgive me.
    so dont mistake me.hope you understood.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2011

Share This Page