How to keep Romance alive?

hi ,
nothing to be worried here . first u give him wat u wish then it will get back to u . dont lose hope ............

 

Dear Arty,

Here in this IFR the man is not expected to play the role of the father even if he is truly the father. Whoever it is, he plays the role of friendly support in whatever form. So they do not have to be necessarily his children.

In this relationship the friendly nature of the support is most important and that will prove more beneficial to the kids. Infact I think this lifestyle is very much in tune with nature. Man-made laws can change as society changes.

Also, I agree it may not be the PERFECT system as of now (further evolution can come about), but yet just for any minor shortcomings in IFR we should not throw the baby with the bath water. Surely this system has a lot to recommend for itself as opposed to traditional marriages.

I am very happy that you otherwise agree with this concept. And thanks for responding.

Best Wishes
Nandita

 

What exactly are you talking about Mathanika? You have not read the earlier posts I presume, as you have not got the concept clearly. Or else you are referring to the many threads posted under "Married life" and "In-laws" where you really 'get it back' with no way of any retreat after you get stuck in a marriage.

Good luck
Nandita

The best relationship is the one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other - Unknown

 

are u looking for swingers here??

 

Are you one? Then look for them elsewhere.

Best wishes
Nandita

 

No! I am not! Your posts reflect swinging only.

 

Dear Vidhya,

Hope we are sailing in the same boat,i expected so many forms of love from my husband and got only explanation, that only people who act will show love infront of others, people with true love never express, i also explaine dhim that even though water is full tank, we need to open the tap to get water, so express your love. nothing worked out.

When i was working, it was not a great issue, but after my delivery i resigned,now these feelings make me feel more stressed, but iam opening up the negative energy through my new born baby.i spend more time and love him more.

This is Life, we cant digest these things, but the only truth is to accept and go along for our childrens future.

Hope you will change your expectations and start initiating voluntarily some romance in daily life.

good luck

 

I think the most important and crucial thing is - - COMMUNICATION!
Many wives want their husband to know certain things. They will "HINT" but will not say it themselves..
Please grow up women. Tell that poor man straight forward, this is what I like and see him go to any extent to do that.

 

Dear Vidhya,
First of all a nice thread you have started and i do agree that many women face this situation after few years of marriage. You have not mentioned whether you are a wrkng woman or housewife. I too am a housewife and i always expect my hubby to be around me pampeing me all d time but dat doesnt happen as he is very busy at wrk .. So, if you are a houswife keep yourself busy, worry less....Usually housewives feel depressed sometimes as the husbands are always busy at wrk, planning for the future, talking financial matters etc etc..

As you have mentioned that yours was a love marriage, think of the days when you were dating your husband and also most importantly how you were, during those days. Most of the women tend to loose interest either in fashion or the way they used to talk with their spouses when they were dating ..especially after having a baby. They feel that they are no more teenagers nor the young gal types to dress fashionably and hav a cheerful attitude always. We women forget this fact that husbands like to see us always well dressed with a big smile on our face (which is not possible always)...
You try to bring in positive envirinment in your relation and u shud take the initiave to start a romantic life and i think sometimes you need to be kiddish and girly instead of being the matured woman types which we behave unknowingly.
Handle the issue coolly and dont get depressed or angry at him. It happens with every woman at some point of time. Gradually try to change his nature.. follow these simple tips - watch a movie together, go for a vacation, leave your kid in any close relative's house or grandparents' house for a day or two...do all the things when you did while you were dating, talk wid your hubby abt your first date, first movie ...etc. Cook something nice for him everyday which he loves d most. U must not forget the fact that men love women cooking yummy delicacies 4 dem though most of the husbands wont tell their wives..Also if you ppl have common frns, plan a trip or a trek or a dinner together. Play some indoor games with him like chess, carrom, cards..so that there will be something different than the routine.
Regarding the surprise, gifts which ur hubby doesn't do... I know how it feels for a woman coz woman loves to be pampered no matter what age she is!!... You start gifting your husband for all d ocassions .. You gift him 10 times, atleast he'll realize that he has to gift you once! . You do all the planning and try to include him. Do th planning together instead of one person doing it. All men are not gud planners
Most men are lik that..coz may be in their families..lik his mom/dad or sis/bro wouldn't have the habit of gifting frns or families or planning things, so he also doesn't hav that habit..
Try all these tips and i'm sure you will notice some change soon.. Stay cheerful always .All d best

So ladies, as soon as you notice the change in your husbands behaviour a few years after marriage you take the initiative to add the spark in your romantic life rather feeling sad/ depressed coz most men feel that they have more and more responsibilities after they have a kid both in the family and careerwise and they tend to loose interest in romance and they just have sex as vidhya has mentioned... But the hard reality is- however strong and passionate may be the romantic life it fades after a while! Let us try our max to keep the relation exciting ..

Cheers
Anupama