Ego a double edged sword

You are correct Viji ma.When people tease me, i just keep quiet without reply them. But they takes it as an advantage to do it more. I could not hurt anyone by my words. So i just ignore hearing them.

 

But I feel that we should sometimes stand up and make other realise that we too have self respect and self esteem and do not give others a chance to treat us like doormats. It can be done in a subtle and convincing way than being rude.

 

Some people are unchangeable.
They are always out there to hurt and get sadistic pleasure doing that !!!! I have had many bitter experiences and now try my best to forget what they do but in the corner of my mind I am still hurting !!
What to do amma but the world is full of different people with different individuality !!

 

Viji mam,

great lesson from a experienced person...

As priya said, many of us took the advantage over our silence..sometimes if I get hurt, I would give my reply with my sweet smile..and it wont hurt them directly but still they would understand it and avoid the comments next time....

 

Vijiakka
That was a very good topic!
As Sudha said, this world is full of different people akka!

I used to feel low and sad too. But many years ago I started this inner strength training.

My first question would be "did I do any harm knowingly or unknowingly to this person?" If yes, I would seek the first opportunity to apologize to them. It was hard. But I did it.

If this other person is someone who just passes sadistic comments I think, "Just because 'X' thinks I am not good, does it mean I am not good?" Immediately I will think of friends, my parents, husband, and children who have accepted me unconditionally; that brightens me and I move on...

I took this class on "effective communication for professional women" and learnt that sometimes it is better to face these people head-on rather than ignore them. So depending on the situation I either take the matter up immediately or pass them off as "having no CLASS"- you know, not worth wasting my time on them.

This has helped me many times.

 

Viji,
The explanation about EGO is

I too have an EGO when my mil tells me that the nurse who comes and helps her is stronger than I am..:biglaugh: even though I know it is true

It is hard to let go off that thought, but still trying not to ponder over that statement of my mil.

sriniketan

 

Ego is when you feel you know everything and others do not , it comes mainly because of people around you who are to be blamed. They are the ones who inflate your ego with unnecessary praise and appreciation to get things done or to please you just like that. If you fall for their sweet coated pill words, you are doomed.
That means you are not aware of your capabilities and capacities.If you know your potentials and what is true and what not ,you will never allow others to inflate your ego.
The inflated ego hurts you when it is deflated by some bringing the truth out.
As it's rightly said, it's a double edged sword, use carefully, or it might harm you!

 

This is what I love about you Viji aunty...that ability to stay happy. You just need a little ray of sunshine and that can rise that happy inner child in you!!!

Viji aunty, I find people fascinating but more so the so called 'egoistic people' - what has worked for me so far is reminding myself that I do not want to be like them as I grow older - aren't we all? growing older I mean..... It helps me two ways - to deal with them and their jabs effectively and I also feel, helps me be a better person, hopefully!!

Srini can I butt in here? I feel underlying your feelings is the Good human being that you are - you want to be that best person for your MIL, as approved by her!! So from that sense, you are not egoistic at all!!!

 

Very good topic Viji aunty....right on the definition of ego...