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how should I React?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by homemaker81, Jun 23, 2011.

  1. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Really????:bonk perfect behaviour to spoil ones married life....


    anyways just casually ask your husband if he has a facebook id tell him that you created one for yourself so wanted to add him as a friend. if he says no he doesnt have one...then leave it there pls. stop spoiling your mind.

    If you want to investigate further...try create another dummy id for yourself i.e fake facebook a/c and connect to your hsubands a/c as a friend and see if he is accepting that invitation...and also when you add him as a friend from your fake id...FIRST VERIFY whether its your husband...check some silly details and where he works etc...which would confirm what you want to.

    If he doesnt accept your fake id invite also....pls STOP giving your brain this suspicious food.
     
  2. DrKadambari

    DrKadambari Gold IL'ite

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    HM, i just checked the block feature on FB and found this.

    If the other person blocks you, then you cannot see that person in your friend's friend list or their comments for a pic, i.e. other comments on the pic would be there, this person's wd not be shown. even if u search by email ID you cant see that person on FB

    So he has not blocked you.

    Please help yourself going to a doc for your possessive nature
     
  3. sindura16

    sindura16 Bronze IL'ite

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    very nicely said...
     
  4. sindura16

    sindura16 Bronze IL'ite

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    if u think ur husband is cheating, In this internet world they can do everything which u cannot even think...but he only created FB account ....

    Think this way...its only one life for all of us and if u stop him to do simple things like chatting with friends , how will he feel...to read only its suffocation to me...

    please be calm ..its only an account where they can share simple things ...which makes them feel nice...as you only told about ur poking nature, surely any person will block you..(thats y there is an option to block people) ..

    concentrate on ur kids life now...make sure they r in the right path...as everyone gave very good advices , i don't have more to add...
     
  5. lovingrose

    lovingrose New IL'ite

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    Well, I am new to this community and have been a lurker for a long time but I just wanted to reply to this post.

    HM,
    It is not good to be so possessive. I think it is better if you act as a strong, confident woman (even if it is an act) and boost your self esteem simultaneously by learning new skills. I am not sure about the background story and so I don't know if he cheated or did anything to break your trust. If that is not the case, try to indulge in other activities to divert your mind. Accept your husband as he is. Facebook is NOT real life. You don't need to be Facebook friends with your husband to prove your relationship to this world. Just let it go and act like a mature, confident woman.

    You will completely lose your self respect if you impose ridiculous boundaries and try to act as if you own the dude. Poor guy! Just let him free...

    He probably is scared that you will go nuts if he adds female friends or if they add him. My advice will be radically different if he has done anything to break your trust.

    Lying is unacceptable. However make sure it is really him and go and talk to him about it without making judgments. But if he still insists its not him and you have the right proof, then it is up to you to decide if you want to put up with a liar for the entire lifetime.

    Best wishes,
    LR
     
  6. PeeVee

    PeeVee Senior IL'ite

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    Just don't spoil your family life dear unless your husband is such a big fraud.
     
  7. sravanitenali

    sravanitenali IL Hall of Fame

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    OMG:eek:mg: Possessiveness is Dangerous and injurious to once lives.....

    I think when u r showing pics in ur FB, at that time he may not have an ID. After looking at ur account he too might create an account...whats wrong???

    Pls dont let ur life be spoiled with your own hands..!!!

    If u r really feeling so sad...ask him directly as u do before...then only u will be releaved from tension and will be peaceful.

    take care
     
  8. beerbal

    beerbal Silver IL'ite

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    I always thought that men hunt and women stalk on facebook. :)

    Proves me right yet again!
     
  9. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Homemaker, this is correct, I just tried it out to make sure. I will give you an example. I have blocked my sil. We have a shared friend in common, let's call him Ramesh. When I go to Ramesh's friends list, because she is blocked, I can't see her. Likewise if she goes to Ramesh's friends list, she can't see me. So, if your dh blocked you, you would NOT be able to see him, not even on someone elses friends list.

    However, I think it is more likely that his profile is set to 'hide mode' where people who search for his name or by using his email ID will not be able to find him. For example, my dh's ex wife is registered on facebook. However, if you search for her name or email id on there, she won't show up. However if you go to her brother Nilesh's facebook page, she shows up on his friend's list. So, I feel it is more likely your husband has made his facebook page non searchable, since you claim to have found him on a coworkers friends list.

    I hope these two examples I gave help you understand how facebook works a little better. Also, there is no gaurantee that that guy is your husband. Unless your husband has some super unique name. If you facebook search Raj Patel, I'm sure you'd get a million hits. But if your name is Aishwarya Rockstar Hershey's Kiss Mukherji, then chances are, you are going to be the only one on facebook with that name. So think whether or not your worries are even reasonable. Is his name super unique? Is the company he worked at with that coworker so big that there could be multiple people with the same name?

    And sorry to say I have read your other posts and you are waaaaaaay too possessive. Had you not driven him away with your suspicions, he'd probably be your facebook friend today. But because of the weird way you stalk him, he has gone to this extreme step of hiding from you. Please, just stop it and let the trust rebuild naturally. If you keep chasing him, he may run away forever.
     
  10. homemaker81

    homemaker81 New IL'ite

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    Hi Girls out here,

    I felt much better after reading your lengthier advices. Thank yoou soo soo much.. But again back to square one of depression and frustration.

    But waht hppnd today was totally different and embarassing. It was not my husband id at all. He again brought the topic today that he is going to create an id in FB. Then I said, you already have one, why do you want to create and also disclosed tht i added his office colleague and found him on the list. He clearly showed that it was not his id and proved me wrong.

    He got so pissed off because of my act. Now he created an FB id with his photo and kids photo and added all his friends and office colleagues and ofcourse also me. Now he remains online constantly on FB, maybe to irritate me. He also said that he will show who he is in an angry tone. He keeps adding his coworkers and friends and continues to stay online.

    He said he is fed up with my suspicious attitude and didnt even call me in the evening. I said sorry but that didnt work. He is so angry on me and I don't know how to get him forgive me. I feel like a loser crying again. I am sure he will come very late to home. I am so upset. How to calm down my husband? Also every time he adds a female coworker, I go down in the dumps.
     

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