MIL initiate fight between me and hubby

I feel that you must have a gd talk with your hubby abt this...

If he scolds you or teams up with your MIL against you, she may be v happy and she will create more problems (I am not saying that all MILs are like that, but some are). As a couple, you need to reach an understanding on this...i dont think a 3rd party (incl MIL) should be allowed to have any negative say abt your spouse...we always have to support the spouse.

Once MIL knows that yr hubby will not stand for anything being said abt u, things will get better. Initially, she may say that yr husband is hen pecked etc but after some time she will know that she cant say anything. This is in yr hubby's hands...i know it seems impossible...but it is possible with time, understanding each other etc...

On yr part, never crib abt MIL to him unnecessarily, unless it is really something that you cant tolerate, tell him privately and let him handle it. If she keeps cribbing abt u to him, he will get fed up and think she is the trouble maker.

As for instances whereby she makes comments, I wld just say let it go...a lot of MILs are like that, they nvr feel we are gd enough for their son. Just ignore and pick yr battles. If she says something negative abt yr family, just politely tell her not to drag yr family into this. Ensure that yr hubby is around, else she may twist the words, cry or make an issue out of this.

Lastly, try to treat yr MIL as you wld ur own mum, giving her respect, care and concern..dun compete with yr MIL for yr husband's love...I wld say the same to yr MIL...not many DILs or MIL's can practice this..they always wanna compete.

Hope this helps, good luck.

 

Hi whenever you have the slightest clue that the team is formed then you avoid giving any comments. You be a silent spectator. By this way she cannot start a new argument. I know its difficult but better try this rather than just saying something and then ending up with some fight with your DH.

 

Laddukutty,

Its called the "bait". People at times try to incite argument just because they know the triggers, or they're bored, or its entertaining. All you have to do is realize that its the bait, and not bite on it. Smile, go for a walk, do anything else, but don't get into the argument.

In these situations, the person initiating the argument has no rhyme or reason or interest in your opinions, its just an argument for the sake of it, so you're not going to lose anything, but only gain back your peace of mind by recognizing these instances.

Remember, many needless arguments and situations can be saved if one just curbs that impulse to talk about every single thought that comes into mind.

 

I think you should just keep quite as though you are watching a serial. Just dont react or dont reply to them, even if they ask you what do you think about this, you say I dont know/ and pretend that you are not interested in their talks.
If you cant resist, just go out of house and do some gardening/ or water the plants/ or just start singing a film song ( I mean humming). By this way they will know that you are ignoring them. Slowly they will stop doing such things.

I know dear it is very difficult to resist if someone comments about the parents in negative way, but THIS IS THE BEST OPTION to go with, to avoid ending up in fights.

And dont talk to your hubby about this also, they are just like that, they cant understand what we feel when they do like this. So its of no use discussing this with them. Just act as if you never listened to their conversation and be NORMAL. Take the I DONT CARE attitude.

I hope this helps. I followed this many times and I am vERY MUCH successful in keeping their mouth shut.

tell me your situation when u followed this.

 

Great advice form Dhanika and Rajshree. Just refuse to get into an argument. Don't even talk to your DH when MIL is present. Just keep asking her what she wants to eat, drink etc. If she is eating, drinking, she will keep her mouth shut and your DH will think how much you care for her mother dearest.:thumbsup

 

:rotfl:rotfl:biglaugh:rotfl:rotfl

Good one!!!!

 

its all MIL's hindi serial drama....please you also watch some cruel DIL serials and do tit for tat :rant:rant:rant

on serious note...do what ur mil is doing ....be very nice to MIL in front of ur H and always tell ur H that how nice to have a elder at home and praise her food and what not ....make him feel that you r fine with ur mil if she shouts or bad mouths also...then ur husband will see the true colors of his mom....

but be patient and as everyone said...Silence is the solution for lot of problems...create an environment where u can have ur own space like listen to music or read nice books...so that u will not depend on ur husband always for entertainment...if u can , do take up a job....

life is precious, don't waste in unnecessary fights...