Father's Day Special Contest - Is your Father your role model? - June 2011

What to say about father ,its a word that is world to me . I am really one of the luckiest person to whom the god has given the one of the best gift "papa" .

My father is a ideal to me .

He is the person who gave me all the khushiyan . When i was born financially my family condition was not good .
My father is a business man.He started his business with some 85 rs .He left home before i get up and back to home after i sleep . Today he is one of the successful business man of our city and i really appreciate my papa.

On fathers day i want to say thanks to god for giving my life in the hands of such a STRONG,BRILLIANT,INTELLIGENT,CARING,HARDWORKING,LOVING person
"MY FATHER"

 

A Father is a very special person in every Daughter's life. I don't know why, but most Girls bond with their fathers lots more easily. Of course that may be because a father always tends to pet his daughter the most!!

My Father was no different. I am the apple of his eye and did not leave any of my wishes unfulfilled. I am the only child to my parents and I am glad that I've enjoyed their undivided attention. Saying that, I would like to say that at no point was I spoilt. I got my demands, only if they were considered reasonable. Or only if they could afford it. It was never like he overstepped his boundaries to make me happy. He realized that happiness is not just about buying whatever I demanded. He made me realize that happiness is about having contentment on whatever my parents gave me.

Being a good father is something every Father would excel at. But, I would say my Father is a role model because of the way he was an excellent husband to my Mom.

My mother is a post-graduate whereas my father was only a graduate. 26 years back, any man with an ego would've refused to this marriage but my father did not. He did not think that this should be a reason to reject a wonderful girl like my mom and I am glad he did not commit the mistake, for I've got such wonderful parents now.

We hail from a normal middle class family. My father used to be a Bank Officer (he has now given up his job and taken to playing with his grandson as his full-time job). My Mother also used to work but they took a mutual decision for my Mother to quit her job when I was in my 7th Std. First of all I wonder how many men would've agreed to the lady's wish to quit her career to stay at home with her daughter, when the family income was just right to meet the needs and the absence of her salary would definitely make an impact. But yes they took the decision. I was too young at that time to understand the gravity of the situation but thinking of it now makes me realize the enormity of the situation. Thanks Dad, that you thought about our happiness first instead of the pennies we would have lost!

My mom is really good at making handicrafts. She has a hobby to make glass paintings, reverse glass tanjore paints etc and is virtually good at anything she tries her hands at in the crafts field. My Dad is so encouraging and makes her do more and more crafts and with his effort her works also got published in a women's magazine "Mangayar Malar".

My Father takes a very active part in the Domestic Household activities. In fact I've never seen my mother bothering with the house cleaning as my Dad has taken in-charge of it and flourishes in his assignment.

Things might look small and silly but I still remember the way my dad took care of my mom, when she had to undergo a surgery. I can still see the way he used to handle her mood swings during her Menopause period.

I still feel, these small things add up to great feelings for any woman. No person is perfect and so my Dad may also have his own imperfections. But overall, his ability to see US before SELF made him the person he is! These are the qualities which made me feel that I need a husband like my DAD! These are the things which made me feel my father is my role model.

Now he is a proud grandfather and spends all his time with his grandson.
Wish you dad a very Happy Father's Day

Love you a lot!!

 

It is very natural that every daughter feels her father to be caring, most supportive, the best man in her life and her role model. So it would be nothing new if I were to write the same about my father. Then what is it that makes me pen this article?
The way my father lived and “ended” his life proves beyond doubt that when you lead a good life, you feel the stamp of approval of the Almighty God on your life – just as it happened to my father. Today, when all his acquaintances speak of him as a role model and as a man far ahead of his times, with a sense of pride I wish to share some facts about him that justify it.
To start with, my father hardly ever preached. All his practices were our lessons!
It is well known that even today a male child is more welcome than a girl baby even in well educated and well- to-do families. My father stands apart as one, who, decades ago, was genuinely contented to be “blessed “ by two girl children and decided not to pursue for male heir despite resentment from all!!
Whether teaching us our native language or right moral values, dad’s motto was “as you sow so you reap” meaning only good lessons would yield good results.
Though my first lesson from my father began with a slap – for eating mud– there have been hardly any instances of physical punishment. Despite being gentle with us, he made us understand that we had to respect and regard elders – a rarity nowadays.
Providing us good education was my father’s sole concern and his encouragement of our professional pursuits not only proved his views towards female empowerment but also made the concept of male chauvinism incomprehensible to us.
According to my father “keeping an open mind” was as necessary as one’s breath. His favorite quote was “the world is changing so fast that even to remain at one place you have to keep running “. Be it learning MS Excel formulas at the age of 58 (to reduce his professional drudgery) or “Hindi in 30 days” at the age of 65 ( to help the neighboring kids in their homework), dad’s open-mindedness and eagerness to learn remained his core strength till his last breath.
Despite a very troubled and turbulent life throughout and working against all odds to achieve his personal and professional success, dad’s prayers would be only for “peace of mind”. I, till date, remember the quote on his office table “I cried I had no shoes until I met someone who had no feet”.
If you go by the saying –“a man is as rich as the fewness of his wants “– my father was very rich indeed!! Materialism was literally unknown to him. His often repeated words were “you can be money- conscious but never money- minded!” Despite his financial constraints, his eagerness to provide financial assistance to any one in need would leave us sometimes uneasy too! His greatest happiness was in sharing what little he had with his family and friends.
My father’s life taught us that the lesser the gap between our thoughts, speech and actions, the closer we are to God. His penchant for quality in everything that one does was so great that his own life became one of a “qualitatively well lived” one.
His concern for his fellow beings was very high. He would always “place himself in others’ shoes. I can never recall an instant when he made even his wife (my mother) fetch him a glass of drinking water if he could avoid it. As I grew older I found this trait extremely rare and unique to my father. When questioned, his reply was “why should I, when I can go and fetch it myself”? I think this level of his concern not to burden any one was even appreciated and rewarded by God as on his final Journey too, my father transported himself to the hospital and walked alone into the ICU just a few minutes before departing to the Gates of Heaven as though he had a prior understanding with God!

 

My father !!! I am really happy to write about him and proud to be his only daughter.But don't know whether I will be able to tell about him or am I that much grown to write about him.

When I was 3 he was like a mother for me.Every other child want to be with mother at that age,but I was with him always.Mom was there as a part of life but not as important as him for me.At 10 he was a hero for me.He can speak English,Hindi,Bengali,Gujarathi,Tamil etc. So I wished to be like him.I wanted to talk like him walk like him etc.

When I was in my teens he started working hard and it was impossible for him to find time for me.Then also he came with snacks in hand at night for us.When days passed I came close to Mom,I can say I forgot those old days.But I loved him a lot.He used to call me as "Kunjumole(little girl)".But when I was in teens he called me just daughter.That close relation was broken day by day(I am the culprit).

After my course I came to city for job and further studies.He came with me and arranged everything.I got married and lived here only.Went to home and called my parents whenever possible.But still there was some distance.

Last year I went to my home he was so happy to see me.I noticed that he became old.Gray hairs,wrinkles in face etc.He came near me and called "Kunjimolee(Little girl)".I was so happy.Cannot express how I felt that moment.I kissed him and told "I love you Papa".

When I used to remember about my dad I can feel the pain in heart and wetness in eyes.

Just want to say "I love you Papa"

 

When I think of my Dad, the highlights of the time we spent together was when we read together. In the good old days , He had a passion for reading and he has passed that to me. I remember flipping through the card board books of Cinderella , Snow White with my tiny fingers, where he would act out the roles with me sitting on his Dhoti draped lap on an old sofa.*

He d stay up all night tending after me when I had my seasonal fevers and illnesses, caring for me as I mumbled in my sleep, renewing the ice on my forehead and then have the energy to pull himself up for work the next day morning, quietly , without making a fuss, without saying a word. Just checking my temperature on and off. Nothing more to say.

My dear father, I remember so well how you taught me Hindi, for I struggled with that subject. You taught me the logic of algebra. We still laugh at home about how I would scratch my forehead after my dad would have spent hours going through simple logic over and over again. How he would get frustrated at me and then take a break and come back to me again to make sure I did get the concept. I want to let him know that I understand why you did that for me.*

You made what other kids call 'Boring History' as an adventure as you would talk me through what happened in World War 1 , World War 2 , the Indian Revolution, how incidents of the past are still affecting us. Gandhi , Nehru, Non Cooperation Movement … All these and more ring in my ears because you didn’t teach it to me like 'boring History' , these were action packed adventures and I would wait eagerly to hear the rest of it.*

My nights as a child were spent listening to my dad tell me stories of Mahabharath, Ramayan , Tenali Rama , Akbar Birbal and world history with my head propped up on his arm. I would ask him to tell me one story after another till I dozed off in his arms. His favorite saying was 'Opportunity knocks once in a lifetime, seize it when you see it'. He s repeated this so many times. Another quote he used to advice me was 'Try Try again, Never Give up'.*

Later in life, he made sure that my life decisions were made by me for it was my life. I owe my dynamic free spirit to him, my honesty to him. He set me free trusting me and making me responsible for my life. He taught me that no matter how I mess up, I can and will always have shelter under his wise branches. All our parents have started in such modest roots, but from those strong roots, we have learned simple principles in life , things that will guide us through out our life.*

I have taken him for granted for so many years. I wanted to say how sorry I am for my own ignorance. I know asking for forgiveness is unnecessary because he s never held a grudge against me for the numerous heartaches I've given him. Unconditional Love , I blessed to have your unconditional love.*

Our family did face my rebellious moods, where 'Daddy was always wrong' and nothing any one said would have convinced me otherwise. I've been away from my dad for over 10 years now because of College , Grad School and now Work. I feel foolish to have wasted those precious moments with him but I am happy that I see for now and I am happy to make him feel proud of me.*

This year I sent a cake over to my dad on June 10th. He asked 'What s the occasion?' and I said it was for Fathers Day. He didn’t understand what the big deal was but I think it was because I didn’t tell him the right thing , "Father , this cake is just me saying I Love You".*

Thank you Indus Ladies, for giving me this opportunity to share my feelings about my father. Writing this made me realize how I have been failing to tell him something so simple that I love him and especially when I m losing so much precious time. Thank you.

 

A Life Journey from Ramnagar to Harish Chandra Ghatt


Friends, on this Father's Day, I want to share with you all about my father!!!

Mr. Ragunathan, my father, had a terrible childhood. Losing his only sibling at the age of 3, mother at the age of 5, and his father at the age of 8, he was left orphaned. His mother's parents took custody of him and thus he came from Karur to Coimbatore at the age of 8.

He was a shy, but a bright student in his class and maths was his favorite subject!! Since his grandfather was just a priest in a nearby temple, he could not think of college education, so after completing school, he joined Civil Supplies Corporation.

He married my mother, had a son, but lost his grandmother within a year of my brother's birth. He always preferred a girl child and he prayed for one and I was born. He was more than happy to have me, my relatives used to tell me.

He declined promotions to take care of his young children since my mother's mother was also no more, but he was very sincere in his work that the auditors and higher officials used to praise him in regional meetings for his accounting talents.

He used to take us out on weekends and used to play cricket with my brother and his friends. He never restricted me from anything because am a girl. We had a wonderful childhood. Me and my brother never felt that we do not have grandparents because our parents showered us with so much of love.

We grew up and when my brother got All India First Rank in his ACS examination, my dad was so proud of him. My marriage came and when I left the mandapam with my husband and in-laws, my dad cried, cried, and cried, and no one was able to console him.

When my daughter was born, he was so happy and told me that of course he was praying that the baby should be girl, and he treated her like a princess. He will do whatever his granddaughter orders him, play with her, teach her slokas, take her to park when ever she comes to his place. My daughter loves him more than me and my husband. Seeing all these, I missed my grandparents. How unlucky me and my brother were. I was so happy that my daughter was showered with so much of love. During power cut, he used to fan his granddaughter with palm fan continuously for 1 to 2 hours, so that his granddaughter's sleep is not disturbed. And my daughter is not so lucky to enjoy his love and pamper more. There came an end to it!

My relatives were planning a trip to Varanasi. So far, they all had three successful trips and this is the fourth time they were planning. My dad was not interested at first, but since my in-laws and all our relatives were going, me, my brother, and my mother thought we should use this opportunity. My dad had no health complaints. He was just 59 and was perfectly fit for the trip.

He called me after boarding the train on May 26th morning that they boarded the train safely and asked me whether me and my daughter had our breakfast and that is the last call he made in his life.

He suddenly developed headache and fever on the train in the afternoon and the temperature went up to 108 degrees and died in the moving train. My mother and all my relatives were in immense shock. He was the youngest of all of them; he was helping everyone to board the train with their luggage, and was chatting and joking with them, but suddenly died. My brother called me from Mumbai and told me that dad was serious and to come to Varanasi as soon as possible. I knew somehow he was no more and then we went directly to the cremation ground at Harish Chandra Ghatt in Varanasi leaving my daughter with my sister-in-laws.

We were told by the priest at Varanasi that we should not cry for our father because getting cremated at Varanasi is the greatest bliss and my dad is so lucky to get it.

We did the last rites for our father. Hearing the bhajans and poojas in the Siva temple at the cremation ground, we had a dip in Holy Ganges with a view of my dad's body burning. It is all like scenes from dream. I could not even believe that it is true. When we came back, seeing all of us, my 4-year-old daughter asked "Where is thatha?" and she asks that question daily!!

He is definitely a role model for us and we will follow his footsteps!!

Regards,
Janani Natarajan

 

My father - a role model

Before I start writing about my father Iwould first like to thank God who gave me such a great father . God has gifted us with such wonderful parents to whom we owe all our success in life.

My father was from a lower middle class family. He lost his mother in early childhood and hence was deprived of mother's affection. Though he missed it he showered love and affection on us at par with our mother.

I am the last of his four daughters and I have a brother younger to me. He worked in a private firm and was the single earning person in the family . Not once had he felt upset about having four daughters. With his meagre income, he never deprived us of the pleasures of our childhood. We had never missed even a school excursion or outing with our friends, which was a very rare thing about three decades ago. In those days when providing college education was a rarity in the middle class families, he made all his daughters graduates and I was made even a post graduate in those days.
Hats off to my father, when I look back I really wonder how he could do this with lots of opposition from the family. All his elders advised him not to give higher education to girls because it will become a problem to get a suitable groom for educated bride and the demands from the boys family will also be high. My father was rigid that education is the greatest wealth he can give to his children and achieved his goal. Of course , God blessed his perseverence and gave himsons-in law who are very good and got all of us married in good families who had no demands from the brides family.

He sacrificed his life for us but never once talked about it. Very rarely he used to say that instead of his son being the last child, had he been the one in between his daughters, he would have been a little more comfortable.

After settling all his daughters in life, he took vol retirement from service and had a peaceful life with my brother. He enjoyed a retired life as a grand father and used to spend time with daughters also regularly. After doing so much for us, he always used to say "I am a man because of my children."It is he who taught love, affection and discipline along with our mother, It is he, who gave us the education and gave us such happy life but he felt that without our co-operation he could not have achieved all this. Thank you dad for your humbleness in forgetting your strain and struggles and giving us such high place in your heart.

I once again thank God for giving such a Great Father who can be a role model to all.

 

Before I start writing about my father Iwould first like to thank God who gave me such a great father . God has gifted us with such wonderful parents to whom we owe all our success in life.

My father was from a lower middle class family. He lost his mother in early childhood and hence was deprived of mother's affection. Though he missed it he showered love and affection on us at par with our mother.

I am the last of his four daughters and I have a brother younger to me. He worked in a private firm and was the single earning person in the family . Not once had he felt upset about having four daughters. With his meagre income, he never deprived us of the pleasures of our childhood. We had never missed even a school excursion or outing with our friends, which was a very rare thing about three decades ago. In those days when providing college education was a rarity in the middle class families, he made all his daughters graduates and I was made even a post graduate in those days.
Hats off to my father, when I look back I really wonder how he could do this with lots of opposition from the family. All his elders advised him not to give higher education to girls because it will become a problem to get a suitable groom for educated bride and the demands from the boys family will also be high. My father was rigid that education is the greatest wealth he can give to his children and achieved his goal. Of course , God blessed his perseverence and gave himsons-in law who are very good and got all of us married in good families who had no demands from the brides family.

He sacrificed his life for us but never once talked about it. Very rarely he used to say that instead of his son being the last child, had he been the one in between his daughters, he would have been a little more comfortable.

After settling all his daughters in life, he took vol retirement from service and had a peaceful life with my brother. He enjoyed a retired life as a grand father and used to spend time with daughters also regularly. After doing so much for us, he always used to say "I am a man because of my children."It is he who taught love, affection and discipline along with our mother, It is he, who gave us the education and gave us such happy life but he felt that without our co-operation he could not have achieved all this. Thank you dad for your humbleness in forgetting your strain and struggles and giving us such high place in your heart.

I once again thank God for giving such a Great Father who can be a role model to all.

 

"Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name".......

It actually requires pages and pages to write all that HE's been to me..Well! still this is an attempt to wrap up the gift of all his goodness in this small package here..for isn't it said, 'Good things come in small packages'?!


Appa was always an emulation worthwhile whether be it aping his style and modulation of talking sternly yet softly..caring for my mom every single moment as if they were wed only yesterday.


His respect for the elders and his lovable approach towards youngsters is something I admire: In fact it's that trait of his which taught me to be humble and take the dust off the feet of the elders..again it's that which helps me be the most sought after teacher by the kids. Thank you Appa.

When I was stranded after my divorce with nowhere to go..it was your tenderness and moral support that kept me going, in spite of the criticisms I had to face. You made me pursue my higher studies with a focused mind ..and here today I'm not only emotionally independent but financially as well!!
Thank you Appa.


Appa..do you recollect those halcycon days when we used to go on those long Nature-walks nearby the river banks of our native village..On the way you would show me rare sights of peacocks, wood-peckers, the nests of kingfishers,..I used to foolishly ask you..in fact nag you for 'Polka dotted' Butterflies:
Not being able to bear the sight of me longing for the 'Polka dotted butterfly', once you sat through all night making a live model of the fly..complete with it's wings painted in polka dots. Thank you Appa.

You were always economical ..but did not preach me economy instead you lived that way and made me automatically learn the value of money;-all the same you never had stopped me from being generous when the need arises. Thank you Appa

Recently when Periyappa had a crisis..you went out of your way to help him and rested only on seeing him smile..I wonder dearest Appa..how many would have dared to give away all his bank balance to restore the dignity of his brother???
-But you did it Appa..I'm proud of you Dad!

Most importantly, whenever I needed a shoulder to CONFIDE, CONFESS, OR CRY..YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.



Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown and I'm sure Your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. Thanks a lot Pa for being a role-model I would love to emulate always:


*To emulate YOU is fulfilling and rejoicing,
‘Coz it amounts to nothing but..rejuvenating myself!

*To admire YOU is my pastime—pursuit..
‘Coz it gives me the needed pep to go ahead!

*To give YOU a big, warm and cuddly hug is the best gift to you,
‘Coz haven't you done that to me..many a times!?!?

*To console YOU during ‘low times’ is my duty too..
‘Coz I cannot really allow anybody else near you!

*To Love YOU all my life-time is my ‘burning passion’,
‘Coz YOU are the only MAN who’s been with me
through all my ups & downs!!

-ThanQ for everything Pa..Love You.

 

‘Father’, this word that means the world to me.There is not a single day that goes by without thinking about this great individual,my father.I take this wonderful opportunity to pay tribute to the one person who will always be the most significant person in my life. Every daughter loves her father and I’m no exception.
Personally,I owe him a lot for what I am today as an individual and a professional.Till the 15th year of my life,I had this massive inferiority complex weighing heavily on my shoulder.It all changed one day when I happened to overhear my father tell one of his friends that of his 3 children his second daughter(Myself)is the best looking inspite of being the only dark child in the family.He talked me out of this complex in a very patient manner,and overnight I turned into a confident person and one of the most popular among grade 11 students of my school.He was such a big help to my working mother,would pitch in and when required,successfully replace her actively in all the household chores whether it is cooking or washing,disregardful of what the neighbours would talk.
The most solemn moments involving my father was when he put us 3 girls in college,which was not easy at all,because those were days when my parents were barely making ends meet and literally living ‘hand to mouth’.Yet my daddy never let that come in the way of our education;He would always tell us that” I have no wealth to give you,but I will educate you to the maximum”.
As all 3 of us did our college education through selection by merit from the extreme northern states of India(which was daring and unusual those days),booking railway tickets was an expensive affair;so he would book berth for us girls and for himself he would sleep on the floor in the midst of the berths.There were times when the trains would be cancelled unexpectedly for some reasons and we would have to spend the entire night in the platform till the wee hours of morning ,at such times he would buy us ticket to safely sleep in the ladies waiting room and he would sleep in the platform.
Once,we were travelling back to Chennai from Chandigarh after writing my medical entrance in Chandigarh.We had a reservation booking for an express train from Delhi and could not afford to miss it at any cost.But to our misfortune, the trains were running behind schedule and some trains were going only upto Nizamuddin and not New Delhi.We somehow had to reach New Delhi in order to make it in time for the express train,so my father hastily got into one such train which just pulled into the station at chandigarh, to check if any seats were available and I followed him against his strict orders to stay by my mother’s side;my father had not realized it until he got down and the train started to pull away from the station,to my bewilderment,I found that I was left alone in the moving train,I did not speak Hindi at that time and it was my maiden trip to anywhere North of India.I started to panic and when I looked out,I could see my father sprinting like an athlete which I should mention was not easy at all(he was a chronic smoker in his early 50’s with poor lung functions) and jump into the coach I was in and mildly reprimanded me for not obeying him before he comforted me and we had to wait till the next station before getting off that train.He could have contacted the station master and have had the train stopped,but that would cause inconvenience for other passengers,When I asked him why he took that risk,he replied that he wanted to teach me that I’m worth taking risks for.I was moved to tears and wondered what did I do to have such a wonderful parent.There are several such moments of noble acts by my father.
Now my daddy is no more.Few years back,my father suddenly left us for his heavenly abode.I was abroad when he breathed his last,I got this message in the wee hours of morning from home and my life shattered and it has’nt been the same since....it will never will! My heart broke when my mother told me that the last word uttered by my daddy was my name,he gasped couple of times after crying out my name loudly and was gone.Till this very moment,I keep thinking why did he call me, is it that my daddy wanted to tell me something or is it just that because,of all his 3 children,he shared a very special relationship with me.I hope to get an answer to that some day when I join him there….
The best thing about my father is that he was a man ahead of times.He never regretted not having a son.He raised us girls to face the world with confidence and always believed (and rightly so!)that educating us girls is the the best gift he could give us.The love and respect he had for my mother cannot be described in words.one had to see it to believe.He was the least critical of people,always saw the best in others and inspired us to do the same.In the last few years after he was diagnosed with a fatal and irreversible lung disease,he prepared my mother to face the world without him,made her independent,showed her the way around all the govt offices,banks,post office, made her do all the necessary paper work to keep the house in order.So that we are not helpless after he was gone from our lives.It really feels good to know that I am a daughter of a father with foresight and a caring human being who never refused anyone who came to him for help.
I really don’t know if I have done complete justice in paying my tribute to him.My daddy was not just my role model he was my life….My only constant prayer is that if ever my daddy and me have to be born again,then in all those lifetimes I want none other than him to be my father.