please help me

Hi Tavishi,
I guess this problem is there with every toddler, when their mom/dad leave for work. They are so attached to being with their parents, that their absence is too hard for them to digest. Have you tried taking him out when your husband leaves for work? Try taking him out for a walk some 10-15 mins before he leaves for work. Make sure he is engaged in something that he likes doing (like drawing/building blocks etc). Since he is 3 years old, try explaining him gently that just like how he has to go to school, dad also has to go to office. He will slowly understand. Hope this helps!

 

It looks like he is learning to anticipate that his dad will not be around for a day, and its making him anxious. Kids that young can't at times handle these emotions and he is likely to grow out of it.

You could try some thing REALLY distracting, try telling him a story with lots of sensory or motor inputs (like big actions, big laugh, mock crying and so on) and try to pique his curiosity, he will forget the crying and get engaged in your story or something.

Don't try giving him something like candies and stuff, its likely to send him the message that he gets attention when he cries like that, which isn't what you want.

Can you put make him sleep when his dad leaves? Or can the dad call him and talk to him on the way to office or once he reaches there? Knowing that he is still there will help him realize that physically going away doesn't mean dad is just gone.

Can you take him out or something along with dad? He can drop you two off at a park or whatever on the way out - the new sorroundings or something to look forward to will also distract your child and he will have the satisfaction that dad took him on his way out.

 

Tavishi, another way of helping him cope is ask him to help his dad to get ready with simple things like can you find dad's socks or can you give him his luch box? and sound all excited about it that he is a big helper. Also in the evenings when dad is about to get home, mention it and get him ready to give a big hug It might work. I am sure he will out grow it soon......

 

Hi Tavishi,

My daughter started doing this during her first year. When my husband goes to office or outside she used to cry and wait for him at the door, play in the area close to the door etc. She does that even now. So, I try to distract her, tell her I love her, ask her to give me a hug, kiss, give her some new toy, or a kitchen utensal and tell her to say bye to daddy. It works most of the time.
Sri

 

tavishi - i can relate to you

my DS does the same to me. never to DH!!

the moment i wake up, Ds is also up within ten mins of me getting up, no matter how early.

the anywhere i move or go (kitchen, bathroom, ouside, etc) -he starts howling.

the moment im out of bath and changed clothes, he knows im going to go. wil keep on following me every step and wanting me to carry him. i do that most times..

but when im leaving, i ask my DH/mil/maid to take him in another room so he doesnt see me leaving. i tell the 'bye' ten mins before leaving. or i wil ask dh to bring Ds down and then wave good bye. DS knows he is not allowed anywhere without me beyond the house gate. so mostly he will wave bye.

best is - avoid them seeing the parent go. tell byes in advance. or distract them with something new/fav things