Question about in laws visiting

I guess everyone has their own comfort level. For me, 3 months is maximum amount of time I can manage. 1 month is ideal. There is no rule that parents/inlaws have to stay for 6 months. It's up to each family to decide what works for them and how long is long enough.

The way I see it, I'd rather have 1 or 2 short months filled with fun, happiness, and getting along... rather than 6 months of getting on each others nerves and counting the days till they leave.

 

All of us have such questions.God only knows the answer.

 

I think at least for abroad its the money which is the main reason. If am spending so much money on tickets/visa etc etc why not have them around for 6 months (not sure is that the max time that you can stay on a visitor visa to US?). Plus the whole trouble of travelling so many hours in a flight with all that stop overs and all. For old people that is also tough. I agree 3 months is ideal though !

 

Hi,
why will parents/Ilaws think their children house as someone's house?
I feel they do have right to visit their children house when they wish to.
One point of view according to parents/ilaws may be be often they can not afford to fly if you see costwise etc plus their healthwise also tiresome for them.So they may wish to stay for a long time at once only.
Rgds

 

I have seen some people....when the girl has to join work after delivery, they want their in laws/parents for 6 months to take care of the baby...even sometimes first MIL comes for 6 months then mom comes for another 6 months....when the kid grows up, then it becomes their own life...they don't want parents/in laws to stay with them for 6 months..

how unfaithful,materialistic, modern, practical or what ever the word people have become!!!

Not able to stay with parents for 6 months and they spent so many years of their life to bring up these kids...

I feel sorry for those ladies whose in laws are not good and its difficult to adjust with them for 6 months.....but still it sound very unfair to me when we calculate the days/months they stay with us...

I am really sorry because I commented against the post, but could not stop myself....

 

Six months is a long time and yes it is hard for the children (especially hard for SIL/DIL) to accommodate the parents. If they really don't want their parents visiting, then they can always say 'No' right?

From the parents point of view they don't get to see their children & grand children that often so they would like to spend as long as possible (in lot of cases this would be the max visa duration) with them whenever they can.

 

I guess the above posters have already mentioned all my thoughts on this topic - the cost of tickets, long journey to get here and the need for child care. I too agree that it is upto each family to decide how much time to stay - 6 months is the maximum the immigration could give for the request. If you ask for extention, they could give another 3 months.

I personally have not had either my inlaws or my parents stay for more than 2 months at a time. Both have commitements back home and so 2 months is all they have come. I also do agree that unless they have other places and people to visit, they can unconsicously get ansy and feel cooped in - making it tough all around.

My parents are very social and want to meet people, invite them over and be invited all the time which is not always doable if it is winter here. My inlaws are not very social and like to stay indoors and talk about old times. I get bored and nervous having to stay at home with them all the time since the 'talks' invariably lead to conflicts. So far I have been able to keep everone's sanity by balancing things when either set of parents come to stay.

Maybe better daughters and DILs than myself can do better i.e longer periods. I envy that and aspire to that some day.

 

I agree with DNM.Iam not asking them not to come.But If they come,there are many things to handle.My MIL wants to buy the whole walmart and target and gift her distant relatives and she wants to call over everyone for lunch/dinner and I should cook.Its not possible for me with my pregnancy right now.

 

In your question you have only asked why do Indian In laws, why you haven't mentioned Indian Parents? Does that mean you only have problem with your in laws staying with you, if your parents stay with you then you won't have problem? You are mentioning some ones house, come on they are not some one they are parents of your spouse, once you get married, the parents and siblings of your spouse becomes your family, so it is their son's house not some one's!

Anyone who create problem in our life, abuse us or bother us in any ways then definately its difficult to stay with them under one roof, be it parents, inlaws, siblings or even spouse. But if the parents or in laws are not creating problem then one should not count their stay in months or days. Staying in joint family or with inlaws is not a big curse (If they are not bothering you)