Having a son in this generation is a problem?

Clashes between mother and DD do occur, but both of them excuse and forgive each other unlike MIL and DIL. As we grow old we tend to develop our own identity and grow apart from parents emotionally and psychologically and see things differently.

 

When it comes to education, jobs, etc... people strive for equality for women... likewise, when it comes to married life, people should strive for equality for men.

Just like parents dont cling on to their daughters and let the daughters live their lives with the son-ILs, they should show equality for men and not cling on to their sons and let the sons live their lives with the DILs.

When thats the case, having a son wont be a problem.

 

Im the elder daughter and i have 2 younger brothers.When my brother was born my mom use to differentiate.She use to tell me that you are a girl other peoples property.You will get married and go but my sons will be there with me. I use to feel bad and hurt.

My brothers are still studying and they are busy with their life and they don't like to spend time with mom
I talk to my mom and we have become good friends.Now my mom says I wish i had 2 daughters instead of a son.

 

I dont think it matters a whole lot whether u have a son or a daughter if they have not been raised with the right values.
The problem I see with the current generation is they want Eastern style parenting where the parents slog their whole lives to take care of their kids ,send them to expensive schools , pay for lavish weddings ..and help even baby sit their grandchildren....without thinking about their retirement.The kids then grow wings and decide they want western style of nuclear family and want parents to take care of themselves in some god-forsaken retirement homes.How convenient !
U want Western style detached parenting...walk out of ur parents home at 18 wait tables to pay for ur college while parents go on cruises. Let them save a few years worth of their pay checks to pay for their marriage and then we will talk about parents retiring in old age home.I am not entirely sure I can raise my boys the Indian way ...and then not expect them to even care about me when I am old and shrivelled. Detached parenting is not for me. I may not expect money from them..love a resounding Yes!

 

Bingo, Jag. Hit the nail right on the kisser!

 

very good inputs JAG.:cheers

After a long wait and TTC struggle,anything from God is a gift to me!But Iam sad to see some elders are still partial to grandsons rather than granddaughters just because they are "Men"

 

Interesting view point Sindura...
Worried about having sons just in case DsIL dont like living /taking care of us when the kids are still in elementary school is fine but wanting to raise kids by instilling age old indian values is living in fantasy world. Well what can I say..to each their own!

 

You are right JAG!!! Some of the Indian kids today want eastern style parents where EVERYTHING is paid for no questions asked, yet when the parents are old, the kids want to live a western style life of nuclear family. I feel you can't eat your cake and have it too. It should either be western upbringing, western style parent care.... or eastern upbringing, eastern parent care. Personally, I dont see anything wrong with expecting your kids to work and help pay for THEIR college education! Also, why shouldn't a child help pay for THEIR own wedding? Too many times it seems like the 30+ year old Indian bride/groom getting married seems like a daddy's little princess or momma's boy who still haven't realized they are adults! They take parents money for school, education, wedding, child care.. yet when it is time to GIVE, ooooooo that time they are 'modernized/western'. I like nuclear family.... then again, I paid for my own education and wedding, as did my husband, and we certainly wont expect any relatives to help with child care. If I gave my life savings to pay for an overpriced bridal outfit and wedding photo package, obviously I would expect my kids to help me out later. But I will never be in that position, because I will never spend my life's savings on a wedding... not for my kids, not for anyone.