need a peace ful life

kajalarora · May 4, 2011

Hi all
m 29 yrs old ..live in a metro city delhi...like all girls i had desires,excitments,wishes,planning for my dream wedding,m a girl who used to gv priority to all relationships and family..got married in 25yrs with one of my friend.I could not love him coz i loved someone else before my marriege but when i enetred in thsi relationship was very loyal and devoted towards my family and my husband..but....but... it was all one sided...my compromise my love my affection...he always say i love u and m with u but only in words...they community is Schedule cast but my parents didnt pay much attention to it as i was agreed...but gradually after my marriege i came to know about how they are .......they all r feeling less from heart..they just wnt to expect never cooperative...initially one year or 6 months i did every possible thing to run our family smooth and happy.......but then i stopped talking to my inlaws after they started insulting me for almost every small small things and big things....it started when i had my first miscarriage.....my husband never showed that he is also in pain of our baby's mishappening...after taht like everything went worse....i again got pregnant...but all nine months i was in hell.....i was doing everything on my own...got no help from anyone.....they day has come of my delivery and i was in labor pain but their was nobody to hear..though my inlaws was at home and sleeping peacefully.....the whole night i was like praying to god taht my child shud be safe.....i blessed wd a baby girl....i never tried to improve my relations or terms wd my inlaws....but i tried to improve things wd my hubby coz i was concerned fr him....and our relation....but it was of no use.. i warned him 2 yrs ago that things are getting difficult between each of us.. please try to improve but he nvr paid attention to it... he was never there for me....i had to fight for my daughter and myself on my own....he knew each and everything has happened wd me in his home.. whenevr i complained he has only one answer....u r nt special one it happens wd everyone..compromise wd it...ur mom is doing it ur sis is doing it y cnt u do it....he always pressurise me to compromise...an year ago after so much of mental humiliation i decided to move on....i warned him again that i m going far please handle if u can.. again he did the same. he didnt pay attention to it... i decided to take divorce..informed him.. now he has made my life hell by saying that i have sombody else in my life thats y m taking divorce frm him...i know my daughter and i cn lead to a better future without him......i know m doing the right thing....its not ego...it is fight for the right.....only thing m scared coz of his bad statemnts that after divorce life is hell for me and daughter ..people wud nt let us live in society....she (daughter)face as many problems...........please suggest...?????as m in a big confusion... if i will compromise i will be finished....and if i not.......????looking for suggestions.....

ArchanaP · May 4, 2011

kajalarora,

I just replied to you on Neeraja's thread and read yours here. Looks like you have applied your personal situation to reply to Neeraja.

Why would you love one person and marry a friend that too without any one forcing you into the marriage with the friend?

Are you problems with your husband or in-laws?

I would suggest you not to take any decision in haste or heat of the moment. Looks like you walked out of your home. Calm down first. Take some time for yourselves to recover completely then make any decision you want to. That way you will have clear mind to think about your future.
Well, society will not let you live as long as you think it will not.

flowerlady · May 5, 2011

Dear Kajal ,
You got married to your friend , that is your BF , a love marriage and also had another person in mind. You were not getting along with your H , had a miscarriage and still had a baby with H so you got deeper into this mess .
Since you have separated from your H and now want a divorce he could have guessed rightly that is another man on the scene . Is this true ?
It seems that your parents are not supporting you thats why your H is harassing you . Hope you are working and can support your DD .
You have already decided that your marriage was a mistake , and cannot live with your H so be prepared to struggle for freedom.
Most H make life miserable for the wife if she wants a divorce as their ego comes into it .
Please consult a lawyer for a divorce and also harassment from your H .
Please do not reveal too many details here and repent later as threads cannot be deleted.

kajalarora · May 5, 2011

no that is not true.. i loved someone else he ditched me and my H was our family friend we just knew each other were not into any relationship..i dint have and dont have anybody in my life.....and things are so worse that everyother day m going thru abusive pain gvn by him and then i have to shout in front of my little daughter which i cant tolerate..

ArchanaP · May 5, 2011

That's normal and that's how it will be because the wound is still very fresh. But you need to try to get out of it. First, keep yourself calm and please try to keep yourself away from the thoughts from the past. Spend more time with your daughter. Keep yourself busy. If there are no financial obligations, leave everything aside for now and spend more time with your daughter. Believe me, children are the best medicine to heal the pain.
Take one step at a time slowly.
May god give you and your child, strength and peace.