Reality Check ...

The above is just my opinion.

 

It's really sad the way you see the world. Maybe in your family your mom favors your brother, but in MANY other families (indian families included) daughters are loved as much as son's!

I really hope you are 'blessed' with having all son's, because I would hate to think how your daughter would be treated, given the fact that you freely admit humans "almost always favor sons". No girl should grow up feeling 'second best' to her parents.

Let me tell you, YES I WILL COMPARE OUR CULTURE! Because until we start opening our eyes and stop worshiping sons... things like female infanticide and dowry, dowry deaths, and ill treatment of women will continue. Not just that, some girls are held back from school, not given a chance at life, etc, just because of this attitude that 'SONS ARE MOST SPECIAL'. Yeah, our treatment of women differs from the treatment of women in the west. VARIES IN A BAD WAY. I want to fix it. I don't want this to continue. I want little girls to grow up feeling just as special as their bro's.

Most proud? I can't even believe I'm reading this. I feel like my head is going to explode. What in the world does "carry on the legacy" even mean? Doesn't my sil have as much of my inlaws DNA as my dh? Aren't I as much of my parent's DNA as my brother? Whenever me and my dh talk about kids, he always says he wants a girl so he can have "two beautiful women in his life".

I got the best growing up. My sil got the best growing up. As for my dh's female cousins, they got more than the best, they got pampered to the max. But my heart literally breaks for the girl's who didn't. To be frank, your views on women are a little scary and extremely sad.

 

Isn't it sad that a little girl should learn early on that her brother is going to be more important to her parents than she is? Ideally, how does one break this news to the hapless girl?

We humans aren't perfect..just because we have some preferences, it doesn't mean that they are fair or need to be acted upon.

Proud of sons carrying the legacy forward...hmm..if there is a legacy in the first place, don't you think? I don't think the majority of us here is going to achieve anything so significant that we need a son to carry it on forward for us. Even a daughter can do most of the things a son can.

And no, western countries do not differentiate between a son's rights and a daughters. Both get an education, both are loved.

If our generation cannot see beyond gender, then really, we aren't educated at all.

 

I agree wholeheartedly ASG. I don't know how when a woman has a son, she conveniently forgets that she is still female, and turns a blind eye to all the inequities that being female entail!

Too true. If we go by arguments of legacy, those who don't have sons cannot boast of any legacy whatsoever!! Does Nehru's legacy not live on inspite of his having had just one (poor guy!) girl child?

 

Exactly. I would like to take it a step further and say that anyone who has a daughter and treats her less than a son, not only is lacking an educated mentality, they're lacking a heart.

 

And in regards to "legacy", just google "Indra Nooyi" the CEO of Pepsico. She is a wildly successful CEO here in the US, born and educated in India, and pulls in a 7 million dollar salary, does business all over the globe, is known for being kind and compassionate to her coworkers, and is a mother of two girls. I can't imagine how her parents could be any more proud. She is a huge success. If she has any brothers or male cousins, I HIGHLY doubt they can match her career or personal successes.

 

Well written ASG, sometimes some women with sons do not realize how girls are being brought up past 10-20 years in families with only daughters, it seems to me they are locked in their childhood experiences. I have seen women in western countries teaching their sons to be good spouses similar to girls in India.

 

very well said, asg, sowmya, sanjeevani, billybob. i absolutely agree with all that has been expressed in your posts.

 

incarnation,

while agreeing with you that there is a long long way for us to go (yes, it might seem that we are still stuck in the dark ages), i would have some hope seeing all the posts above. at least a majority of the young women here think similarly and let us hope that more and more women think the same way. that way, by the time your children are of age to get married, we can certainly hope for some equality between the two sexes. so don't give up hope so easily dear.

btw, i was a bit confused about the poll. the question and the options given don't match. "what kind of a mother-in-law would you be" - answers : yes/no. so i am unable to answer that question. could you please clarify or perhaps change the options or the question itself?