Is it important i should plan sibling for my lo???

Hi,
I agree with all the opinion as two sides of coin........I only suggest that you do what your gut feeling says........:thumbsup

 

I agree to what all Lakshmi said Neha regarding your situation in particular...... You can make ur princess busy with some hobby classes that would provide her company as well as socialising skills and confidence. The feeling of expecting a boy even before having planned for the next baby is in itself an insecurity !!

Supriya.

 

My question in another new thread...

 

Hi ladies!

My DS is 6 months old now, and I got back to work. My SIL's family & my parents too live in the same city as ours, so they're helping us out in turns, in taking care of the baby etc. My parents helped us till DS was 3 months old, then for about 2 months, we lived with our SIL (shes married to her cousin, obviously my husband's cousin too and we live in just a few houses apart, so it wasnt difficult). She's a stay-at-home mom with her husband, daughter & MIL. I'm with my parents again for the last one month and plan to move to our home soon.
Well now, the reason behind relating this to you is that, my niece (SIL's daughter) is 12 years old, a single child. She's an adorable girl, loves pets, good at music & dance. We got married 2 years ago (an arranged one) and she was present since the very first day DH's family came to see me. She's very close to me and always felt happy talking to me from the beginning, in fact, she shares a few things just with me!
I remember she told me many times that she loved to have a sibling, so she can play with him/her, playfully fight for petty things, complain about each other etc... I could feel her wishful eyes, longing for a companion! Whatever best you do & give, I feel children DO need somebody in their age group!
During the last one year (my entire pregnancy & delivery), she was the most excited one of all in the family... She was just so happy about having someone younger than her, whom she can tend to, play with & teach! During the 2 months we were with them, she was the happiest child on earth, trust me. And now we're with my parents, to balance out the burden and as my niece had her exams, I wanted her to concentrate better on her subjects. It was a shock that she fell ill 2 days after we left. She was so attached to her cousin (my DS). I counselled her over the phone, that she should study well & get good grades, and that I'll come again in 2-3 weeks with the baby. She slowly recovered in a week and is studying well for her exams.
Now, I feel we depended considerably on my parents & my SIL for close to 6 months now after my delivery. Want to establish a proper schedule for ourselves, as both of us work. Morever, though I'm happy to have so many good people around to take care of us & my DS, I feel guilty about not being able to spend time much time with my baby. I feel I can have some 1-1 time with DS once we start getting on our own.

But my niece is just so attached to my son that she doesn't want us to leave again. She wants to kiss him bye in the morning when she leaves to school (its early in the morning) see him when she's back from school. She wants to play with him and have him around.
Its difficult for us to convince her, that we cannot continue to stay there. She once tearfully told me that all of her friends have a sibling (narrated instances of how bonded they all were with their brothers & sisters) except her. She felt bad about not having a bro/sis of her own. And she asked me, "Atta (Aunt), why don't I have a bro/sis when all my friends have? Why can't Rahul (my DS) stay with me forever? "

I'm fond of my niece and do not want to hurt her innocent & childly feelings. But it just doesnt look good for people around if we continue to live together. Morever, my parents live alone in the same city, since its their first grandchild & I'm working too, they want to look after DS when I'm at work. Finally, its my feelings here, that I want me & DH to start on our own, so we can get used to a new routine after the entry of DS into our family. But how do we explain all this to my niece? She's a growing child & can, may be understand things if some time is given. But all the angst in her heart about not having a sibling, I - and only I know; not even her mom!

Looking at her, I & DH decided to have at least one more to accompany our first one (though DS is just 6 months & its pretty early for us to plan!)
It may be at least 4-5 years from now, but God & luck should bless and we should be ready to plan a sibling for LO.
On my part, I'll try my best to support my niece emotionally, as its a passing phase & it shall pass. But trust me, I'm seeing the dullness, discomfort & yearning of a single child. I will never want my LO to face, by God's grace.

Love,
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