1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Which Sister-in-law is better?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by pruthvee, Feb 5, 2011.

Page 3 of 4
  1. Feb 8, 2011 #21
    priya2782

    priya2782 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    i'd say the one that lives farthest away from u is the better..my SiL is very cordial,non interfering..but co-sis is another animal altogether.she's like a double edged sword..very devious & manipulative..backstabbing all the while, she's a jealous ****:thumbsdown she was so insecure of me joining the family,that she concocted what not to malign me,when i hadn't even said/done any ill to her..:notthatway:
     
    priya2782, Feb 8, 2011
    priya2782, Feb 8, 2011
    #21
  2. Feb 8, 2011 #22
    puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,320
    Likes Received:
    7,223
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Female
    In my case......

    1. DH's sis: she is going to overtake my MIL in few years.
    She has created lots of issues in my married life, she has cursed me badly, that I am still trying to forget it. So she is a big 'NO' :thumbsdown to me.

    2. Brother's wife: I treat her more like a friend/sister. I am very close to her than my brother.
    I follow the rule "if you want your brother/sibling to be happy, keep his wife happy".
    So there are no issues between brother's wife and me.
    Sometimes if my brother and she has any arguments, she complains to me about my brother and I take her side.

    3. DH's brothers wife: Myself and she are more like a sisters now because we both sail in the same boat (MIL's victims). MIL tried her level best to break our friendship, create problems b/w us, but it went reversed and her sons fight often (i.e my DH and his brother).
     
    puni88, Feb 8, 2011
    puni88, Feb 8, 2011
    #22
  3. Feb 9, 2011 #23
    sita2223

    sita2223 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    561
    Likes Received:
    30
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    I have only one, DH's sister, she is younger than me, yet tries to control us. She is much worse than my MIL, so you can imagine how she is.
     
    sita2223, Feb 9, 2011
    sita2223, Feb 9, 2011
    #23
  4. Feb 9, 2011 #24
    pruthvee

    pruthvee Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    28
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female

    Hi Puni,

    If you dont mind can I ask you to elaborate more how ur DH's sis bothered you? I mean can you mention ur experience and incidents with her. Do you and ur co-sis exclude her like doing things like shopping together and excluding her, tht would be the best way to punish her.
     
    pruthvee, Feb 9, 2011
    pruthvee, Feb 9, 2011
    #24
  5. Feb 9, 2011 #25
    sreemanavaneeth

    sreemanavaneeth Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    741
    Likes Received:
    361
    Trophy Points:
    140
    Gender:
    Female
    Hai pruthvee,:)

    Donot hate anybody. Move with everybody in a good manner.Eventhough they are bad and their intentions are bad they will change by seeing your behaviour the way you are answering etc., For me absolutely i do not have problem withmy Hubby's sister who is the eldest and with my co sisters also. All of them are GEM. I am blessed and i am thankful to GOD for this.My in laws also too good.

    Anyway, Everyone have to act according to the situation and talk.
    do not confuse yourself

    All the best.:thumbsup
     
    sreemanavaneeth, Feb 9, 2011
    sreemanavaneeth, Feb 9, 2011
    #25
  6. Feb 9, 2011 #26
    pruthvee

    pruthvee Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    28
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female

    But MAHA, You too have a brothers and is a SIL to your bhabhis, I too have a brother and will become SIL one day, so how will WE feel if our bhabhis think about us that way, and because of their pre-concieved notions they will never try to mingle with us or try to take away our brothers even we initiate to befriends with them and be nice to them. Really painful to think even naa???? What you have to say on this?

    As I myself confessed here in above post that I too had pre-concieved notions about SIL because of things I heard and was not able to trust and mingle with would be SIL even she is nice still and done nothing to me.

    But just yesterday night I thought about it and realized that it is not nice develop any notions about someone. Now whoever reads this will feel weird and think that I myself created this thread and now writing like this. But I gave a thought on this, so now I have decided to develop a rapport of good relation with SIL, however if I find she is not nice than I will prefer to shift to cordial relation from friendship.

    I will also try to make her feel by my words and actions that her brother is still her brother and will always remain and both me and her brother will be there for her whenever she need us, that way she will never feel insecure. I think that sometimes nasty behaviour of SILs (DH's sis) (& also MIL) is due to their insecurity of losing brother/son, so that won't happen to me for that reason I will try to make them feel comfortable and behave in a way they never feel ignored and neglected. However if the bad behavior of DH's sis is only the outcome of their insecurity then my efforts will work, but if a person is downright evil by nature, they will not change and never satisfy whatever we do for them. Lets see how it will be with SIL and MIL.
    Wish me luck :biglaugh

    My one more question here is that if any of your SIL is really nice, then of course you will feel good but for this reason will you love to befriends or you only believe in cordial relations with them even they are nice and trustworthy. Because some people believe that 'Dur se darshan bhale' that means a distance is better and safer in some relations so better in only being cordial. Pls share your thoughts on this too.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2011
    pruthvee, Feb 9, 2011
    pruthvee, Feb 9, 2011
    #26
  7. Feb 9, 2011 #27
    sadwife

    sadwife Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,618
    Likes Received:
    438
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Gender:
    Female
    Exactly in my case that what co-sister does. :rant

    Same goes with my co-sister!! :spin

    That's what I have been trying. Being nice to everyone who gets nasty with me since MIL and co-sister had poisoned their mind about me. They were good to me at the beginning. I still be nice to them although I know that they talk at my back and have negative thoughts about me. Furthermore it's not easy for me to simply hurt or get rude with anyone even if they are rude to me, that's my WEAKNESS and I hate it!!

    Recently I notice that some of them are being nice to me again. Maybe because I have been good to them despite the rumors they heard about me from MIL and co-sister. So they feel I am not at all that bad anyway.

     
    sadwife, Feb 9, 2011
    sadwife, Feb 9, 2011
    #27
  8. Feb 9, 2011 #28
    sadwife

    sadwife Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,618
    Likes Received:
    438
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Gender:
    Female
    VERY TRUE. :cheers
     
    sadwife, Feb 9, 2011
    sadwife, Feb 9, 2011
    #28
  9. Feb 9, 2011 #29
    lathaviswa

    lathaviswa IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,450
    Likes Received:
    2,002
    Trophy Points:
    340
    Gender:
    Female
    Good topic.

    1) No sister to my hubby.

    3) Hubby's brother's wife she is very close to my IL's.They compare me &her always &say she is the best (even they consider her family too).But not mine.So i am not comfortable with her.

    2) Brother is yet to be married,i would like to be a good friend to her & i expect the same from her.
     
    lathaviswa, Feb 9, 2011
    lathaviswa, Feb 9, 2011
    #29
  10. Feb 11, 2011 #30
    sadwife

    sadwife Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,618
    Likes Received:
    438
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Gender:
    Female
    Be nice with your in laws, if they still remain the same then better stop hoping they'll change. Trust me, they'll never change; like my in laws too. Co-sister is everything to them and also her mother and siblings just because they listen and obey whatever MIL tells them. I admit co-sister is a smart lady too, have manipulated MIL really so well that MIL believes every lie said by her.

    Ignore those jokers and be happy with your husband.
    Build a very strong bond with your husband since that's what going to last forever.
     
    sadwife, Feb 11, 2011
    sadwife, Feb 11, 2011
    #30
Page 3 of 4

Share This Page