stranger in my own house

Mercy,

what happened to you??? in your name itself u r having mercy but not showing the same to your Mother In Law..what ever sin she has done..now you should support her. you people are used her as a use and throw cup.:drowning atlast she is going to stay alone that too her own sons home..that too she is widowed..
please you dont do like this...no body will go (die) with assets what we are earning...think and do the wise thing...

 

Blessed - very nicely put. Balanced and logical. Thanks for taking the emotion out of it. I am unable to do so since this pushes all my buttons.

Monita - I am glad you can see what the right thing to do in this situation. I don't know about others. Let me speak for myself here. I do live abroad. My sister is the one near my parents. My inlaws live abroad and are very mobile and independent right now. Like every other story, my mil was awful to me and sometimes even now is cruel in her words. However, I have a baby and I want him to know his grandparents and be surrounded by everyone's love. So when my in laws want to come, it is never about being free. That time has long gone.

Now I want my son to have q time with his grandparents who adore him. They don't have to do any work here or baby sit. They simply get to be with grandson. I will not forget what my mil has done to me but it is irrelevant to my DS and his relationship with his grandma. I have had to grow up and mellow since I have been married for a decade.

Everyone is intolerant, sensitive and impetuous when they are newly married. However, we need to grow up, for heaven's sakes and move the heck on! I don't want to be in my 50s and still bitter towards my mil who may not even be around at that time.

That's how I want to be free eventually. I want to be free of my bitterness and resentment - not my responsibilities. There is a difference, don't you think?

 

so if people would have said kick your MIL out...would that make these so called saints...down to earth people and empathetic?? great way to judge people:bonk

 

Mercy , we understand , but see the way you are thinking is not correct. Give the poor old lady some space , you can tell her not to duplicate your house keys , but dont let her get out. If non of your BIL & you are ready to takecare of her please guide her to HOME FOR THE AGED. ANy which ways you guys are not staying there , are you going to keep the house empty or what are you plans when you guys are not there. She would stay in that house and you can think in this way , you got a protection for the house. Once you are back you can tell her what you need and what not. At least till then don't worry about her stay at your place. Just think if you are thinking like this what would your son or daughter do to you ? Please do think.

 

Let your mother in law stay in your place. What is the problem. You should be kid to her. After all she is your kids grand mother. Wouldn't you let your parents stay in your house? After all she s a widow who has no place ot stay.

Be kind. Your children learn things form you. If you treat your in laws well, you will be treated well too. Since the house is not occupied, you should be make stay at your place and give her support. It is good for your family.

I read other posts. These ladies are great in giving you good input. thumbsupthumbsup

 

:bowdown Wow DNM...everythingI wanted to write..only u wrote it better!

 

DNM, that's a noble thought but that's all it is.These are mere words. Now coming to OP, she has also just expressed her concern about losing her property. She has never said she is going to kick her MIL out, neither has she said that she wants to take revenge on her MIL. On the contrary, she is afraid that she might be kicked out of her own property. So, the difference is only in words.

Her PILs moved in with her immediately after her marriage and lived with her for 10 years.She is the eldest DIL so in all probability, the ILs were not too old then. If your ILs had insisted on moving in with you and have been living with you ever since, would you still be saying the same words. I doubt it. In the more worldly sense, you have already been 'free' for last 10 years and your ILs are not going to move in with you in foreseeable future.

So, basically you and most others have probably never lived with ILs, nor have bought property for them so what right do we have of reacting so strongly if someone is being honest?

Thanks for being honest, DNM and providing me the opportunity of explaining my point. Please don't take it personally. It's meant for all of us.

 

No. But if they would say- look we don't know how it feels letting others misuse your property since we don't have a property which is being used by parents/inlaws. yet in our opinion...
It would definitely make them look less judgmental.

Srividya, why do even need to judge somebody? Who the hell are we to judge someone, anyway?

 

Hai mercy
"A wonderful story that will probably add bit of humane touch to our souls which is moving fast in persuit of materialistic happiness .. clearly reflecting the upwardly mobile society we are living in ,"which is swept with confused alarms of struggle and fight...where ignorant armies clash by night",and the importance of matter over mind or shall i say simple human feelings.....
A man was polishing his new car; his 4 yr old son picked up a stone &
Scratched on the side of the car. In anger,As his new car is being scratched
the furious Man took his
child's hand & hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench.
At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures
When the child saw his father....with painful eyes he asked 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' The man was so hurt and speechless
He went back to the car and kicked it many times. Devastated by his own
actions... sitting in front of the car he looked at the scratches, His son
had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'. Next day that man committed
suicide...
Anger and Love have no limits...Always remember.... .
"Things are to be used and people are to be loved"
But the problem in today's world is....
"People are being USED & Things are being LOVED"
-Anonymous.

As our friends said HAVE MERCY.