1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

make up after a fight

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by vinayaka1979, Feb 5, 2011.

Page 1 of 3
  1. Feb 5, 2011 #1
    vinayaka1979

    vinayaka1979 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi everyone,
    I was wondering how you and your spouse make up after having an argument/fight(whosever fault it is). Feel free to pour in your experiences:cheers
    Let me go first. I am pretty adament(or shall I say egoistic:bonk) when it comes to an argument. Its usually my husband who starts the conversation again. If it's a petty issue , he would just behave like nothing happened and cheer me up by saying something funny, tickling me, etc, If its something that really annoyed him he would try to explain why he was pissed off. I would listen to his lecture pouting all the while. If I know I did something that is absolutely positively my fault(100% with no room for error:crazy) I say sorry.
    :bowdownto my hubby for his patience and putting up with me. Now folks its your turn
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2011
    vinayaka1979, Feb 5, 2011
    vinayaka1979, Feb 5, 2011
    #1
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. mirrorimage

      Handling Male Ego After Fight

      mirrorimage, Aug 6, 2021, in forum: Married Life
      Replies:
      4
      Views:
      1,716
      Patientone
      Aug 11, 2021
    2. SuiDhaaga

      Fight Fire With Fire, Fight Anger With Anger

      SuiDhaaga, Jun 23, 2021, in forum: Poetry
      Replies:
      2
      Views:
      440
      SuiDhaaga
      Jun 24, 2021
    3. Prabh

      Huge Fight And After Affects

      Prabh, Jun 18, 2021, in forum: Married Life
      Replies:
      7
      Views:
      1,730
      MalStrom
      Jun 18, 2021
  2. Feb 5, 2011 #2
    Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,284
    Likes Received:
    28
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Male
    So basically you say sorry only when you are 100% sure it is your faut and there is no error of judgement. So you basically don't say sorry or apologize if knowingly or unknowingly you have wronged, used wrong words, shown attitude to comfort your grieving husband ,but rather keep thinking or analysing that is that one word really required to comfort someone who is otherwise always forthcoming.

    Ego can be a killer in a relationship. It is not just saying sorry, it also matters how one says sorry. Egoistic people find hard to say sorry and even when they say it has very less meaning/depth in it . High headed ness is not good in life or personal relationship. One needs to see ones own follies which is impacting the relationship in early stages so that it does not get too late.

    One good thing is, you don't just say sorry you also add a line or thank your husband for putting up with you and his patience when ever you say sorry.


     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2011
    Tridev, Feb 5, 2011
    Tridev, Feb 5, 2011
    #2
  3. Feb 5, 2011 #3
    vinayaka1979

    vinayaka1979 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    :eek:mg:OK Tridev- first of all this thread was started in a lighter vein, You don't have to go all out on me and lecture about how ego will hurt my relationship(FYI- my husband and I share a wonderful relationship and we love each other deeply. We have been through a lot together and understand one another enough that we know what the other one thinks even whithout saying it aloud). When I said adament I meant in a childish way- jeeesh!This is so typical - just waiting to jump on someone and judge them based on one freakin' post.
    There is so much more in a relationship than what one states in one post. I have sacrificed a lot for my husband and I know he appreciates me for that. Similarly i was trying to highlight my husband's patience and love for me- hope you get it atleast now

    Lighten up for god's sake- we are all so quick to judge others and give lectures too. I started this thread only since Valentine's is just round the corner and it would make everyone smile to read how spouses make up. I did NOT ask for advise- thank you very much
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2011
    vinayaka1979, Feb 5, 2011
    vinayaka1979, Feb 5, 2011
    #3
  4. Feb 5, 2011 #4
    Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,284
    Likes Received:
    28
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Male
    Vinayak, its good you have wonderful relationship. Sorry if I offended you.
     
    Tridev, Feb 5, 2011
    Tridev, Feb 5, 2011
    #4
  5. Feb 5, 2011 #5
    Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,299
    Likes Received:
    6,339
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    In my case it depends. You would find it funny but usually in winters I am more relaxed and in summers my DH is more relaxed. So our apologies are pretty seasonal :bonk. In winters I apologize and in summers he apologizes....weird how weather effects us eh?

    If its something really serious, we dont talk to each other for a few hours. Next who ever comes first and talk, we respond back and say sorry.
     
    Rakhii, Feb 5, 2011
    Rakhii, Feb 5, 2011
    #5
  6. Feb 5, 2011 #6
    sweetanju4uu

    sweetanju4uu Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    39
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Vinayaka, I am like you too. I keep pouting and will wait for my DH to come and talk to me. I never feel to apologize unless I feel that I have hurt him (unknowingly, ofcourse). But he is like a kid..he shows his anger on food. he never eats and says he is just not hungry.. only then i come down my pedestal. and feed him, yes. I say sorry to him and then once he is fine, he is a happy person again!

    If at all there was a bigger fight, it usually ends by morning. We may go to sleep in anger, but we get up in the morning forgetting te last day's episode. :)
     
    sweetanju4uu, Feb 5, 2011
    sweetanju4uu, Feb 5, 2011
    #6
  7. Feb 5, 2011 #7
    vinayaka1979

    vinayaka1979 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for responding Rakhii- lol, seasonal sorry- never heard of that before but it's funny and made me smile:)
     
    vinayaka1979, Feb 5, 2011
    vinayaka1979, Feb 5, 2011
    #7
  8. Feb 5, 2011 #8
    shams86

    shams86 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Most of the time my Hubby but sometimes me too talk..
     
    shams86, Feb 5, 2011
    shams86, Feb 5, 2011
    #8
  9. Feb 5, 2011 #9
    vinayaka1979

    vinayaka1979 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Hey anju,
    Your post reminded me of my early marriage days. Both me and husband would alternate doing the same depending on who was upset most. Hahaha sweet memories
     
    vinayaka1979, Feb 5, 2011
    vinayaka1979, Feb 5, 2011
    #9
  10. Feb 5, 2011 #10
    vinayaka1979

    vinayaka1979 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Shams,
    Could you please elaborate :)
     
    vinayaka1979, Feb 5, 2011
    vinayaka1979, Feb 5, 2011
    #10
Page 1 of 3

Share This Page