how many of you doesnt want but still stick to their marrg?

Tanu, I am not sure what you will achieve by asking others here. Don't take decisions based on what others did. Each one's situations are different.

I am just confused what will be achieved by asking everyone....?

 

Agreed.

Marriage is not a survey. X number in IL are sticking to a bad marriage so we should do that, or Y broke it off, so we should do it.

You only get confused if you survey others. You need to listen to what your own heart and brain tells you whether you want to be in or out of the relationship.

 

Tanu, your question is genuine though what others have answered is also right. While your quest is right but it wont help. Some of the reasons for people staying in bad relationship is as follows: (And I guess you are trying to find that or probably know that part instead of knowing who in particular on this forum is opting to stay in bad marriage and why)

So lets rephrase your question : Why do people stay in bad marriages despite having all the reasons to quit.(This is generic question and quite right)

1. Children, some women don't want to break off due to the fear kids will not get love of father.(Most of the times young kids live with mothers so that is the assumption)
2. Finances/Property
3. Fear of being alone or not being able to remarry or fear that one may find a much more bad person
4. Society and its problems associated with single men and women.
5. If someone married against the wishes of family then fear that they will blame them for break up too and the shame associcated with that
6. Lack of courage to break free
7. Staying trapped for long also makes a person immune and does not realise that breaking off is what is the real solution. Person keeps hoping the other person will change or certain situation will change
8. Maniupulation of the spouse, Women threating that they will file
498A,put all in jail, take away kids, men saying they will do something
nasty, bla bla. So basically emotional blackmailing

These are broad reasons or by and large again there can be many. There are people who stay in bad marriages or justify that theirs is not really that bad when they compare other more bad marriages . They put a deadline for things to change and when the deadline reaches they justify again that it can be extended by some more time.. There are people who preach that one should move out of bad relations but they themself justify theirs being not that bad. So it is upto us to listen to our heart and do the math. It is not easy. It is the most tough job but what can be done. One needs to work for wellfare for all .

 

Very well said tridev I completely agree with u
Regards

 

tanu,

i would list the reasons simply as:

• resistance to change and fear of the unknown (e.g. social fallout).
  
• not sure if after opting out, life will be better (socially, financially).
  
• fear of losing benefits e'g. as social status, financial comfort.

.....

 

The reasons could be

Divorce is a taboo. Not easy to get in India unless it is mutual

Children future. Children even in a bad marriage could be better off than when you go out of marriage.

Financial comfort provided by spouse though you do not like him

In India more than 90% tolerate unsuccessful marriage. The degree may vary from person to person.

The best way to check this by taking your parents case. Whether their marriage was successful or they lived together in unsuccessful marraige because of you.

 

Thats just a popular myth. They are not better off that way. Some may think they are better off, but in reality they are not.