Husband is beating ....please help me

i would say your life is more valuable than any alimony or dowry money you can get back from him. just leave him and get on with your own life. and do make a police complaint. after all you must have physical evidence to bolster your complaint. so do not hesitate. good decision to move out and into shared accommodation. ask for police protection if necessary.

 

Ok, first thing, pick up the phone and call 911 immediately while the injuries are still sore and you can prove his atrocities and you will be really glad that you did it.

If you report to the police now, court will grant you a protection order, a criminal case will be filed against him and he will pay you every penny he took from you. But please call 911 and get him locked up. Under criminal grounds, divorce will be granted to you at the earliest possible. Police will ask you to meet the domestic violence organizations and these organizations will help you to get protection order free of cost. Act quick. Forget about filing the case in India, file it here immediately. If you start delaying the things will become tougher for you. So please, please call 911 immediately.

Once you are granted protection order in USA court, it becomes an evidence to file a cheating case and domestic violence case against him in India too. Your parents can file a complaint against his parents too in India for not disclosing his health condition to your family before marriage.

 

Goldi,Dont your parents have proof of giving dowry to your IL's.Do not let go of anything you have given them. Your husband is greedy to have said he wont part with dowry.

I suggest you file a Domestic Violence case against him .He needs to be stopped and it will be helpful a small way when you file for divorce later.You need to punish him for abuse. Otherwise you will be setting a tone that he was right. Do you want to do that?Your parents can also file a Harassment case there. They have hidden their son's condition and gotten him married.Do post and be relieved that this will be in your past soon.Good Luck.

 

USE YOUR MIND AT HIS MOVEMENT WISELY TO GET OUT OF THIS MESS SAFELY AND FAST.AS Archana said,it may better for you to report police and rest will fall in place.

 

Hi Dear,

First things first, you should have immediately called 911. Having a police report confirming that you were hurt in domestic violence from you against your husband would have strongly supported you in your future. Its not late, call cops and report domesic violence. Its a very serious ou can gind the numbers online or the county magazines hey publis every so often.

Next time it happens ( I pray not), call 911 immediately. You should have officers at your place very shortly.
Second, take pictures of your face and wounds and record the date. With no report it would be hard to show evidence that your injuries were from domestic violence but it will noneheless help.

You have a job and a visa. you are pretty much independent. Move out immediately with important documents. Cloths, jewellery and everything else can be bought again but your safety is your priority. There are places/apartments you can rent immediately on per day basis until you are ready to sign a lease for longer term. If you have some good friends, request them to spend nights with you in turns for safety.

Second step is to remove him from your bank accounts etc so that you have money to take care of yourself and all immediate needs.

A 5yr suffering menally and now physically is a very strong reason for you to take action now. You already spen a lot of time in a worthless marriage. Dont worry abou your relatives and family in India. This is a very serious issue and you will get support. And remember the people who would tell you not to dissolve this marriga would not be able to do something if you get seriously injured or die in an abusive relationship. Live and be safe for yourself.

We believe in you and we are here to support you. Be strong!!!


** BTW a case I know from India where the girls and her family filed a domestic violence and dowry case against boy's family, all he members of the guy's family had to leave jobs(including govt. jobs), give the dowry money back and run away from home so that hey would no be arrested. Once you are safe and out, you would be ikn a position to make their lives hell.

 

Goldi, you are to be blamed to great extent. You are married for 5 years, he is not emotionally or physically liking you. He is not having any intimacy with you for so long and you know he is impotent. You also revealed this to others against his wish. If you are opting to stay in the relationship on one hand on other hand also doing things that will harm his image and ruin your relationship, why are you blaming him?

Why dont you decide that you will venture out of relationship and then if need be tell people what happened and why you took that decision. Why you blame him for DV and have him put in jail when you are contributing in your own way. What he is doing to you is maniac way of dealing and you have ignited that ire in him and now you are wanting him to go to jail and are in fire fighting situation. I wonder if you ever can leave this relationship because I am not able to understand why are you still in this relationship and abuse?

You have lived in US for 4 years . What help can people give on this forum when it comes to beating, personal lives which others have no control over. Also calm yourself and take a deep breath and think before taking further concrete steps. It may so happen you are not able to think and take bold steps but seek help from someone close and call police and be prepared for changes to happen. Best is to move out as soon as you can . Calling police will help you register complain and seek divorce too.

 

Goldi, what is wrong with you, he beat you so badly , you want divorce from him but you do not want to lodge a complaint? Why? You are on h1, can have easily moved out to sharing accomation and seek restraining order , but you waited why?

Even if you initiate divorce you can get maintenance, why you worried about Dowry? Can one get everything back ? First you choose your life over material things. What one loses in bargain is a loss, one has to live with it . What one gains is what you should focus on now.

And if divorce is asking evidence why you dont complain to police, go to hospital and seek help and take that as record that he beat you.

He is trying to manipulate you into relationship time and again, dont wait, RUN and RUN FAST.

 

as far as dowry is concerned, i doubt you will be able to demand it back in an indian court, as according to indian law demanding and giving dowry are an offence.

 

Call it 'wedding gift from parents' and try to get it back... but FIRST get yourself OUT of this mess.

 

I agree with all the posters above. Noticed u r from Georgia.
Please follow this link
Women's Resource Center to End Domestic Violence - Atlanta, GA to talk to volunteers who can help you .Do it now. Dont postpone. Such guys never change.
The least u can do is call 911. Believe me it makes a huge difference.
My ex-colleague's husband had the habit of hitting her for small things. Inspite of my telling her she tried to keep things under wraps. Once things went too far and he smashed her face on the car dashboard and since she was bleeding profusely she went to the doctor who immedietely realised how she would have been hurt inspite of her husband's cock and bull story of falling in the shower. Before the couple came home there were cops on their door step.Man the sheer warning from those cops put sense into his head. They had issues but he never touched her again. Also remember the guy is on H1 and probably applying GC domestic violence is not tolerated. Tell him one restraining order and his life is screwed!