MIL prob again :-(

Just ignore her lunch time drama. Don't stay in the same room as she is. Eat your lunch say you have a head ache or something to do and go take apower nap before you have to get back to work.
The trick is don't show her you are hurt by her behavior. If you show or confront do you think she will stop doing it no way she will do more of it to make you angrier.
Also, let her run around her son and do everything ignore less work for you.
I know it hurts that you are being treated as an outsider. Develop a thick skin. These type of people will not change. They will argue they are right and never treat to you like that. So give back her own medicine you turn cold even before she does and speak only when she speaks.

 

Hi,
I have replyed on same kind of issue on following link: http://www.indusladies.com/forums/relationship-with-in-laws/120040-in-laws.html
I hope it will be helpfull..

 

Hi Kenny,

It's a shame that certain women are genetically unable to treat other women well (especially when she has left her home and family to be with them and to look after them and serve them). But there you are! That is how the world is! Have you heard it said that "women are womens' worst enemies"? Unfortunately that is true of a large number of mil-dil relationships.

I know fully well how difficult it is to ignore such behaviour (have faced it personally). Just get on with your own jobs at home and behave as if she does not exist. Try keeping any interaction to a minimum (monosyllabic replies) - even if she tries to ask or say anything (I am sure she will need to communicate with you sometime or the other). Or just ask something like "did you say something to me" as though you do not expect to talk to you at all. If she gets this treatment for a few times, she might get the message loud and clear and try to behave better.

I know that it is not very pleasant to behave like this as our upbringing trains us to be polite and respectful to others. But if others do not treat us as human beings, complaining to them or stewing inwardly over it will not change matters. They will deny outright that they are doing anything wrong. Only when faced with the same kind of behaviour as their own will they realize that they need to change to more positive ways. Once that goal is accomplished, one can set about trying to build a working relationship at first, followed hopefully with a positive relationship.

Wish you good luck.
Swati

 

My MIL belongs to that saem NUTJOB category, acts like everyone should be her puppet.. The way i managed when she arrived this time was to give her food/coffee whenever she needed it, pop in a Movie DVD after lunch & Took off to the mall, leaving her to herself, if there is no one around then she cant pu on her 'natak baazi', & of course she does not want to come across as a bad person in front of her son, so she has to bear the additional grin & bear it routine. Time your chores so that you spend the minimum amt of time around her, & if she behaves well for an extended period, (determined by you) treat her to a cappuchino.. Hate to say it, but kinda like training a wayward pet animal!

 

Hey Girl -

Take your lunch box to work.

IGNORE - :whistle

Come on - you show you are affected and she continues her antics. JustChillout!

and she will go :crazy.

That's the best medicine :rotfl

 

Hi kenny, i think u should just avoid it since ur mil is not creating any big issues for u. some mil bitches abt dil to their sons or directly attack the dils with verbal abuse and sarcasm. ur mil is better compared to all those daredevils. if it's getting too far then why don't u ask ur mil in a gentle way whether she's upset or not feeling well so that she gets a hint that u r noticing it. but if ur mil does it on purpose to hurt u she'll be happy that u noticed so u have to deal with both sides. never complain to ur husband since most of the husbands dont accept their moms' faults. u do ur work and ignore her cold behaviour. sometimes if u dont feel like doing any work at home like cooking or cleaning just dont do and tell that u r not feeling well.they cant blame u for that since u r not an unpaid house maid who's doing free service. u can ask ur husband to take food from outside in such situations. to live with in-laws we have to be good actors also at times

 

Give her the taste of her own medicine. Be nice and good to her when DH is around and make faces and COMPLETELY ignore when DH is not around.

. And you know what, MIL wins if you react to her behaviour. Act as though there is no one in the house. COMPLETELY ignore her presence...see how things work then.