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In laws !!??!?!!

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by kennyg, Dec 23, 2010.

  1. kennyg

    kennyg New IL'ite

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    Well, I had heard of issues women face from their in-laws..But seeing & experiencing them totally different..
    I read few of the threads under this topic & was wondering, how many MILS & SILS who are part of Indus Ladies read these & empathise with their DILs?
    Being married recently I am facing few small problems during the regular chore.. My in laws don’t live with us since they live in a different city… However they drop by very often & sometimes for as long as a month…
    They are extremely particular about doing things their way & keeping things they want to.. This get quite annoying,.
    MIL is very particular about cutting vegetables the way she wants (specific for each dish) n such small things puts me off…
    Somehow when they are at home, I don’t feel very comfortable at my own place… I get so busy doing household things (after returning from office) I get absolutely no time to do any of my personal things…I have to be eternally on my toes to assist them doing almost all tasks..
    By the end of the day, I am dead tired & lifeless…
    And god they talk !! so much so that I get bugged of nodding & listening…. non stop…. through the day..amidst the TV noise, the tape recorder singing.. OOPH.. Its tough I tell you
    I just felt like sharing my feelings…anyone who has faced the same & has come out successfully, can please share their experience
     
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  2. pinkpearls

    pinkpearls Senior IL'ite

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    nice question, may be those so called MIL's and SIL"s don't have time to see IL threads, they always have their own time pass, how to create problems for her DIL :clap
     
  3. ilovelife

    ilovelife Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Friend kennyg,

    I felt like as if i am reading my own stroy :) exactly same infact more than this because we live with inlaws.. so you can imagine.. even for a day when i not well and miss any small work like clearing the dustbin there will be an harsh comment on that from both the inlaws... then you can imagine how they would react if i dont do any important work..

    you asked if anyone came out of it sucessfully..even though i am not out of it completely and i dont know when that will happen.. now atleast i know how can i save my peace of mind.. after joining indusladies.. if i feel really bad about somthing i just express it here and with the responses suggestions i really feel better..

    JUst ignore as much as possible, try to avoide talking about them with your DH too..saying my husband has never helped me much, and somtimes it has created conflicts btwen ourselves.. but yeah i do share if i am really hurt with something and if i can prove my comments infront of him..

    and if you feel their comments or behaviour is really disrespectful give them back so that they will be careful talking about it nextime. i have done that certain occassion but calmly and they avoide talking like that next time.

    dont worry about these things, cheerup
     
  4. kennyg

    kennyg New IL'ite

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    Hello Ilovelife - Yes, I can imagine living with them… Must be quite some task… Like you said, the feeling is better when you pen it down & u know that some response on the website will help you overcome this to an extent

    I was once preparing for some exam..On the day of the exam the family had to attend a function.. All at home went for the function & I stayed back since my exam was in the noon..Since I was bored to cook & by cooking I will also be wasting my time – I managed with some biscuits....(Might as well spend that time studying)
    In the evening when I returned, my MIL asked why I made nothing for lunch.. I told her its all ok.. n the worse thing, she made tea for herself n my FIL… Couldn’t she have thought that I have had noting since morning & she can atleast make a cup of tea..If she had daughter would the treatment have been the same ??
    Also its interesting to see how the behavior is when the son falls sick & when the DIL is sick.. On morning I was down with fever, cold & splitting headache… I had to get up at 6 n make tea coffee & milk for all at home.. none even asked if I needed some rest.. that was the first time after my marriage I had tears in my eyes… In the meantime if the son is unwell, there is absolutely no limit for the care taking from the in laws side…
    If you look at it in a way its all like a comedy scene. n at times its horrible...guess its way one takes it.
    My good luck – I can vent out my feeling to my husband who is quite understanding…
     
  5. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Kenny

    Well, I am living with my inlaws under one roof for the past 15 years, and u can just imagine how I must be feeling now lving with the most unconcerned people on the earth.

    When MIL is sick, all have to be at her side and show their concern and my FIL expects me to take care of her 24/7 and be available to her at a beck of a call.

    But when I am sick even with serious illness like typhoid, they wont even have the courtesy to ask me how Iam feeling, sooo.... bad, I am fed up of up this treatment. Some times I feel they dont consider me as a human at all....

    When their daughters are at home the ever lazy MIL will be suddenly active, all her sickness and pains will disappear and I dont know how all that will re appear as soon as they leave.

    Now I am a kind of used to such drama's and stopped paying attention to any of her sickly actions.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2010
  6. YingYang

    YingYang Senior IL'ite

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    Hmmmm Excellent question… I think I have a solution… My in laws were with me for 6 month visit. I was quite busy making breakfast in morning cooking lunch(3 course at least) , going to work, coming back evening making tea/coffee(My MIL was scared to light gas in USA… I mean it is not rocket science is it?) cooking dinner. Cleaning… So at the end of the day I as dead tired and my in laws are fresh as dew drop… So they use to talk late till (1:00AM) I mean just complain in general about the life in USA , me…. . If I am in kitchen preparing meals my FIL will stand next to the door and complain that I did not vacuum today.. or dust today( These are week end chores for me… I am Working right?).. How I do not iron my dh and sons cloths(including undergarments) every day … ect ect… Then my dh use to get mad and lecture me on my organizational skills till 2:00 am … So this went on for some time… I was totally stressed out and overwhelmed. You can imagine, I am just back from work, changed and directly in kitchen followed by FIL who is criticizing me for no reason… First I try to reason with him that I am doing me best I just have 24hrs in day…. Then I retaliated, saying my MIL can chip in a bit she can help a little too. But my FIL said that they are here to enjoy… and MIL has worked whole of her life so it is her time to rest(She had maids whole of her life but that’s not the issue… Issue is I am doing all the work right. All I expect is them to stop complaining..I do not mind working more hard if that pleases them… )
    So Then I was Struck with the idea how to shut this continuous complaining off.
    I just went and brought a SONY NOISE CANCELLING MP3 player.. So when my IL are standing at the kitchen door and are talking continuously, complain about the world… ect I swiched on the MP3 player in noise cancel mode… and keep nodding saying “hmmm…”, “you are right..” .”Thats great…” not hearing a single word… Eventually they got tired as they did not get enough response out of me and left me alone… fighting among themselves… hee hee…
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2010
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  7. supriyaakp

    supriyaakp Bronze IL'ite

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    @Yingyang
    My God I Can't stop Laughing....LOL:):biglaugh

     
  8. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    My case is opposite; I mean, my MIL loves her daughter (my SIL) a lot. And my husband also limits his interaction with his mom. So, fortunately or unfortunately, when ever my MIL visits us, the trips are limited. She tries to spend her time with my SIL instead; which is perfectly fine by me and my DH.
     
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  9. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Me too:biglaugh:rotfl....no body ever gave me this idea:idea
     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2010
  10. TimidlyConfidnt

    TimidlyConfidnt Gold IL'ite

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    Ying Yang...

    thats such a cool solution. I am going to pass it on to my sister... :rotfl

    TC
     

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