He is not his old self anymore......why? or am I imaginging as he says????.......

Ilites I need your help this time.

I live in the east coast US, and my dh has gone to west coast, US on a tour related to his work. It is 6 months we are in this kind of set up. He is there and I am here. Earlier, we used to talk over phone, skype, emails etc for hours together after his work. But, these days for past 1 month he does not show any interest in talking to me. Ofcourse, he is the one who makes a call but the call last less than 5 mins. I have tried asking him about his work, health, and other things just to know if anything is bothering him. But, everything seems to be going good. He is very happy he has been made the project head which he was always aiming. I am also happy for him.

He used to visit me once in 15 days, almost every other week. Now, he comes home once a month. I tried going to his place last month and stayed for a week. I found his work going good and he is in good health too. I cannot go and stay there longer. Though I do not work here but my kid's school is here and moreover our house is here. I told him he needs to visit us every 15 days like earlier and he says company will pay him only once a month. I said so what? We will bear the expenses other times. He does not agree.
Ilites, Frankly we can bear one time if the company pays the other time. I told him I will visit him if he is not coming and he just changed the topic.
One time I got so mad. I did not allow him to move out of the room and asked him very directly what is his problem? He started kissing me, fondling and got away without answering me.

He talks fine with kid. When it comes to me he will ask if I have anything important to say. What important things will I have everyday. So, when I start saying about friends, neighbors, relatives phone calls or parents calls he will try to end it as quickly as possible. If it is related to kid's school then he will listen and advise me what to do. But if it is related to his work or any new offer he has got he will go on and on as to how he dealt with it and I have to listen to him. One time I asked him why he does not show interest when I go on and on like that and why he is considering what I have to say as unimportant. He said OK then I will not bother you with my side anymore. You can hang up the phone now. I cried like hell that day after I hung up angrily. I think he sensed that and called after 15 mins and asked why I was being silly and said sorry and asked me stop crying.
He does not scold me or snub me but somehow I am sensing he is not interested to talk to me longer.

I tried asking even directly once after my trip back from his place and he says I am imagining things and everything is as usual and he is the same husband I knew. He says I am unnecessarily creating a rift by talking like this.

Please Ilites help me. Tell me how to get this resolved. He says everything is fine then why does he not talk much to me like earlier. I feel he is avoiding me. He is not interested in any miscellaneous talk anymore. He only needs me to speak about the so called 'important' things and what is that??????
How can I have important things everyday?
Other than work related stuff he is very interested if I initiate sex talk. But I feel so lonely after the phone call is done. I cannot be happy just sex talking long distance and not having him near me. So, I told him this. I said I need him near me when I even talk about sex. So, he stopped talking that these days. Really, I feel so lonely and even scared after he hangs up talking sensually. I feel the distance more farther from him.

Another thing I have to say here. I had a bad temper and always I was the one to lose temper in our marriage. He keeps cool. But over these years I know him well and he knows me and my temperment too. I have to say and admit that he has adjusted immensely with me. Even when I had issues with his parents he dealt them very well and always was by my side. I can say that he kind of pampered me throught out these years. He gave me whatever I asked for..... Somehow, I wanted to have a house in India I wished we buy a house in India too when we went few years back and told dh and he applied for loan and had it done. Inlaws started saying who will mantain it when you guys are gone and it is a huge house. Why do you need that when you are not living in it? DH's answer was Meena wants it and so I got it for her. It is not that I cannot afford to pay off that house. When I can and she wants it then why not?
Clearly, inlaws were not happy with their son talking like this since FIL was explaining finances and maintanance charges etc. And so when I suggested they live there they did not agree and now live in their 2 bedroom apartment. So, we got in touch with some broker and rented that house. I told inlaws you can live in that and when we visit we all can live together but inlaws seem to have got hurt since dh did not take FIL's advise in not buying such big house and instead fulfilled my wish. Am I at fault for that? We had similar issues too where I would say one thing and inlaws would be quite opposite to it but dh would go by me. That created friction in our relationship with his parents.
Emotionally he was by me till now but I see a change in him now. Is he reacting to all that now??? I would not wish to live anymore if he changed to that extent. I love him and want him by me always.


His work there will last another year or so. What will be my situation then??? I am really getting worried over all this. I am confused and don't understand how to get through this. Am I worrying meaninglessly or is there a reason??? Pls. suggest something Ilites.....

 

Thanks Priya-mom for responding.

Yes, I am missing him very much. I told him so many times he can sell off that house to pay off the loan. And I am sure we will get back what we put in that. He simply laughs and says don't worry unnecessarily on that stupid loan. I don't want you to get wrinkles and grey hair over that silly thing. And he told me, next time you raise this topic I will not like it.

I know that another 6 months in this set up we can pay off that loan. We already sold off a plot in India to pay some amount. I told him I sometimes feel guilty he did not listen to his dad and instead went by my wishes and so we have to live like this. He slammed the phone. I called him and he did not take my call. He called next day and talked normally. I stopped talking about that matter from then on. But in my mind it is bothering me. I told him I love him and want him back soon. He said be patient, I am here for my work and will be back. After that he quickly changes the topic and asks if anything important and hangs up. But I think earlier he used to talk a lot then why he reduced drastically now. When I ask him he says dont be silly!!!!!

My parents praise him for putting up with my temperment. My inlaws think and told openly too that their son deserves a better person as his wife. They are surprised as to how their son could fall in love with me. Dh does not get bothered by their talk and the first time they commented he said it is his choice, his wife and he is now married and they should not talk like that anymore. They never raised this anymore.

One time I told my dh I think everyone thinks like that, that I am not fit to be his wife. He gave me a tight slap. He says he likes my impulsive nature and loved me for that. But now I think it landed us in living separately like this and he does not understand he needs to stop me sometimes atleast. He used to say I like when you argue with me and lose your temper, I dont want you to nod your head for everything I say.
But, I curse this very nature of mine now.