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Have you read this article about desis in NJ in the Time Magazine?

Discussion in 'Indians in New Jersey' started by Kimaya, Sep 17, 2010.

  1. Dilchahtahai

    Dilchahtahai Senior IL'ite

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    Late to join but I don't think there is anything wrong with the article. Like any third world country, we are very materialistic and selfish. We don't have sensitivities towards others and that shows.. And I am not talking about second generation Indians, I am talking about the first generation.

    I am part of a company that did not outsource till very late 2000 and did not get any contractors or IT folks from India. All was well till 2006 when we expanded big time and had to outsource. The scene has changed now.
    In morning, no body bothers for waiting for elevators in a queue. As soon as one comes folks push each other and get on it ( oh yes, you can guess who they would be)..

    That peeves me. And the fact that in elevators, they break out in their own regional languages.. Now don't jump at me saying that chinese do that too.. I don't care if chinese do that too.. they still mingle better in american society than Indians who stick out ..I have been on elevators with 12 people, 10 out of which are Indians.. and hearing 3 different languages. Not caring about anyone else on the elevator, how they are standing, what their hands are doing.. When that 1 minute elevator ride can serve as eye opener to anyone, think about living in same apartment community..
     
  2. Dilchahtahai

    Dilchahtahai Senior IL'ite

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    Having lived 10 years in this country, I think Indians belong in two categories:
    (1) Who live within themselves, alienate everyone else who does not speak, look , eat or behave like them
    (2) Feel shy of speaking to Indians, doing anything for them (even if it is justified), while all the time believing inside them that they and their clique of Indian friends are different because they have some american friends .. and best of all.. bending over backwards as soon as they see any american..

    I mean, why can't we keep a balance? we can still mingle in america while not letting go of some of our most cherished treditions..Why do we have to live on extremes? Maybe because for first generation Indians, the spirit to live by what you believe is true or what you think is right is broken very early on. We learn to adjust, accomodate, lie .. just to please people who matter..
     
  3. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    I found it to be a bit humourous as I can understand Americans having difficulty to cope up with so much of globalization:crazy or should I say Indianization:idea

    anyways...there are good and bad side to it, basically I think only NJ might be worried aobut Indians, other than that we have heard several radio announcements stating that Americans would become minorities in their own country by 2020. and Spanish people would be the highest no. and would take over most of the country....
     
  4. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    yep I agree thanks for the correction:)
     
  5. Nitha J

    Nitha J IL Hall of Fame

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  6. Kimaya

    Kimaya Senior IL'ite

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    VMariam and DilChahtaHai, Have you ever lived in NJ or Silicon Valley? Reading your strong comments I'm feeling scared of moving there. I used to think it would be the perfect place where I can find good Indian community and American life too. But I assume you must have gone through a lot to speak so strongly.
     
  7. Naksh

    Naksh Platinum IL'ite

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    DilChahtahain. I think i fall under bucket 1 :) I know it may not be a great thing, but i am what i am. having said that i should also mention that i am not fot throwing stuff on roads, leaving shopping carts in the parking lots (some Indians as well as non-indians do it), throwing stones at animals, staying at office/connected to n/w 24*7 pretending to be working (when there is'nt really ny) just to impress boss, etceteras...live and let live. I do my work mingle with people who are alike and with whom i can share jokes or whatever. It is to be noticed that sense of humor differs form region to region. so what we think funny may not be perceived to be funny by people form other region leave alone countries.

    I would like to present a response from one of the guests form time/cnn website. I did the same in the other thread as well...please bear with me if that a lot of repition, i only wanted to highlight the response as i found it to be very nice. It could be erased, no issues.
     
  8. Naksh

    Naksh Platinum IL'ite

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    Here it is:

    Edit: High Lighted those parts i liked

    Dear Rahul and Joel,
    I am an Indian living in the States for the past 8 years. I was absolutely not offended by Joel’s comments on immigration and Indians. As I have been through something similar to what Joel experienced, on a micro level. However, there is one strong difference; my experience enlightened me to a better human. Here is my story: I was born and raised in a posh neighborhood of South Delhi, India. After 10th grade many hardworking and intelligent students came from some smaller cities/towns to our expensive private school (mostly on scholarship or with the help of their aunts and uncles). Most of us developed a strong dislike for them. They had no fashion sense, oil would be dripping out of their heads, their English was worse than ours and they still brought lunch boxes!!! All throughout 11th grade we out casted them as we felt insecure because they were smarter than us and we would have to study even more. We didn’t make fun of them on their face but we laughed at them behind their backs. We never sat together! It was absolutely clear that we didn’t belong together. We mocked at their long skirts, dream to get into IIT (top engineering college) and general lack of street smartness. However, gradually with class activities and spending many hours together in the same room, we started to get to know each other. Slowly we realized that we all had similar aspirations and issues in life! By the time 12th grade came, we started sitting next to each other, laughing, studying and playing together. Now we saw few differences and more similarities. We also realized that those differences were just superficial!
    So basically, it all boils down to our attitude. We could have been warm and loving to them from the beginning and we all would have had a great time but we showed resentment and insecurity. Only because we were IGNORANT (one of our biggest enemy)! We only saw differences and change as a negative factor. I know my example is from an 11th graders point of view. But since then, I always try to welcome guests/new people that I meet and try to accept change much more positively. Especially for people who are different from me.
    I see that Joel was nostalgic after visiting NJ. I would be too. But instead of making fun of Indians he could choose to get to know them and he will learn so much about himself and others. In the same way Rahul read the article and like make Indians saw it as a mark of insult and retaliated. “If you can disrespect my GOD then I can disrespect your GOD”, “If you can make fun of my food then I can make fun of your food”. But an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind! I read a few comments and my heart aches that many Indians and Americans formed two teams and only insulted each other. I am sure that is not the aim of either of you. There are good and bad people in every part of the world. There are differences and similarities in all cultures but above all we live in ONE WORLD together, peacefully. I hope my small example helps you two understand the importance of enjoying every bit of life with as many people as possible :)
    P.S –My writing and English skills are not as good as yours but I hope the message is delivered.
    Love,
    Neetika
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2010
  9. Naksh

    Naksh Platinum IL'ite

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    Mariam your observation is right. That is true.
     
  10. Dilchahtahai

    Dilchahtahai Senior IL'ite

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    Naksh, If you fall in Cat 1, good for you..
    In this website itself, I have seen so many posts about people being tired of their Indian friend's behavior but keep on having friendship with them because 'these are the only INDIAN friends we have'..
    Well, why do you have to keep friendship with ANYONE who is hurting your morale or not treating your kids right or disturbing the balance in your house..Just because you are afraid that if you lose an indian friend, you would alienate yourself from all Indians around you and you have no idea how to be friends with anyone else from any other culture. In fact, though these posters say 'Indian' friends, they actually mean 'Tamil, Telugu or any other friends from their specific region'..
    So if they are so afraid of making friends even with people from differet regions in India, forget about befriending people from any other country.
    At the end of it all, if they still live peacefully in this Big world, thats all that we need.. But per your article, one has to still try and see good things in others and try to see their point of view.. Which if you are sticking to people JUST LIKE YOU, you fail to see.
     

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