What i did is right?

swt.charu · Jul 22, 2009

Bagiya,

Your narration reminds me of my friend who is also going through the same kind of seperation.

She also has a 5 year old boy and has the same dilemma of having to raise a boy without the support of a father.

The only advise I give her..

Be strong and stay that way...I know it is easier said than done...

You have all the people around you giving that synistic look , back talks and things like this.

Once you have decided what you should do, simply prepare a one line answer to all those "people". Whoever ask you anything to do with your m arriage just repeat that one sentence and end the talk. End you conversation with people with a positive note .. something like

"my daughter is good at so and so things or any of her achivements" or something like that. When you have more positives than negatives the attitude of people will change towards you. They will look at you as a strong person capable of creating a beautiful world for your daughter all by yourself.

Don't get into a "Self pity" mode when people talk to you. Simply answer them for the sake of it and move on. If your own friends talk repeatedly about your hubby or marriage simply tell them "Can we change the topic? this is a dead story" If they can't understand and think you are arrogant then better stay away from such "friends"

I can go on writing more and more...but to cut a long story short..the only mantra you have now is

"Be strong - Be firm and be cheerful"

Bagiya · Aug 3, 2009

Thanks Charu,

bhuvnidhi · Aug 3, 2009

Bagiya, U had told in your prev post that your court hearing is on July 24th.Did it happen?And what happenned to the hearing?I hope everything is fine with you.

Bagiya · Aug 4, 2009

Hi Bhuvnidi,

As usual, he did not come. My next hearing is on 24 August. I don't know why our courting system is like this. He had not come for continues four hearing but still this judge is giving chances to him.

He(stupid husband) is simply dragging my case, sometime i thing why god is like this. But i should not blame god also he had given me so many good things only this he is doing like this. I think i did not ask him properly.

Thank Bhuvnidi for ask me about my case.

Bagiya

bhuvnidhi · Aug 4, 2009

Bagiya , Don't worry!Your worries will come to an end soon.Keep faith in god.Whenever we are denied of certain things , it would be a way for getting better things in life.

I am not sure whether we can find out another way to force your husband to come to court.Probably any of our lawyers in IL can help.Meanwhile I will try to get information from my friends too and send you a PM.

Bagiya , I hope you have taken a good decision.Bcoz you and only you would know the best for you.This is nothing to confuse you but you still have a chance since the hearing is being delayed indefinitely!

Bagiya · Sep 17, 2010

Finally he had accepted for mutual and filed it six months back. In between he simply created an issue saying i am showing the kid. Out of 4 yrs he had not come to see Kid nor had asked to bring to court. Last time after filing mutual he said that i am not showing the kid so he is not willing for mutual. As per mutual agreement he can see the kid two once. i don’t why he created that scene and made to bring the kid to court. She was there in the court's day care from morning 10 till 4 not even once he went and saw her there. In the evening when i brought her to the judge’s place he was acting as if so affectionate. Judge asked him did you see in the day care, he replied guys not allowed inside. Judge it self told that it meant for both parities to meet the kid. He just kept quite.

After separating for 4 yrs he called my daughter on this wedding day which is on September 1<SUP>st</SUP>, I don’t know why he has to act like this. Last time in the court also he was blaming me as if he doesn’t know my phone number and the look he gave me that he made me come to court with my daughter. He has my father number as I don’t want to give my number because he used ask his friends to talk to me as strangers that any way you not worth for Naveen I am ready to marry, come we will get married. So I don’t want to give my number. I never told him that I will not show him the kid. He knows my house also. I was very upset that why he is torturing the kid by bring it to court. He could very well see her if he calls and informs us.

As we had filed mutual, judge asked us to withdraw my petition and his petition which we filed 3 yrs back. Dear friends I want to know what will happen if comes this 27 September and tells that I want to live with her. Will my mutual gets cancelled. 1 1/2 month back only we withdraw the old petition.

Please suggest me what should I do.

lakshmisree11 · Sep 28, 2010

Dear Bagiya,

Even I am too in the same position..one thing I am having 4 years old boy. my case hearing is on 23rd December. for 4 hearings he did not came to court but last hearing his lawyer came...:bowdown

i dont know what to do with this useless people..sometimes getting irritation...they wont live peacefully and not allow us to live..

believing that the GOD is with us...

take care..