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smart women Mediocre men

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by chicagogayathri, Sep 1, 2010.

  1. chicagogayathri

    chicagogayathri New IL'ite

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    As a twice married person who has found happiness now,I am suprised as to the number of Indian women[ both IT and non IT young couples] i run into where smart girls are married to very mediocre men,whose only qualification is that they are in US.Essentially only interested in job and money with no extracurricular hobbies/interests who do not read or travel.
    Can someone enlighten me as i left India in the 70's when convent girls found great spouses[most of the time] and had a broad education and were very interested in all aspects of life here.
     
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  2. rosegirl

    rosegirl Bronze IL'ite

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    I think it goes both ways. Mediocre ladies married to smart men. And vice versa. I think the marriage equation depends more on how well couples are able to adapt and handle issues maturely, then how smart/mediocre they are. My mom is mediocre, she was a clerk for 20 years and but she was always kind and understanding and caring and balanced every aspect of her life perfectly.
     
  3. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    Because in India it was or is still considered a status symbol to get girl married to someone in US or abroad. I knew of a south Indian girl who was my wife's college mate. Her father had put conditions on sisters that if they have to get married they have to look Green card holder. She got married to a GC holder and is in US since then. The guy is so dark (I am not insensitive or demeaning her for dark people just that to show relevance )while the daughter much better, that I am so sure if he had same qualification, big house in India,same qualities, her father would not have got her marrried to him. This has been trend.

    Men have got wives who are doctors , highly qualified just because they had US Green card. In short Green card become a trading weapon in arrange marriages. It used to be said that the market of groom will be better if one has Green card. There are cases where girls too have got over qualified grooms while they were less qualified or less good looking because they had USC or GC and they could sponsor the PR for their spouse.


     
  4. Indyan

    Indyan New IL'ite

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    :coffeeIf SMART women are stuck with MEDIOCRE men......
    Can you really consider them "SMART":bonk
     
  5. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    I agree with Tridev.

    Men that have something women want... like GC, USC, wealth, fame... will always attract women who are ten times better looking than themselves.

    Whenever there is a highly in demand characteristic in a person, that person will be sought after.
     
  6. payalg

    payalg New IL'ite

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    Smart Women with Mediocre men is good only if the Man accepts that his Wife is better than him

    But if the Man refuses to accept, its going to lead to clashes
     
  7. iamsudha

    iamsudha Senior IL'ite

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    May be it's a Good Match!

    Smart women marrying mediocre men! Didn't think of it that way! :)
     
  8. Happysoul1234

    Happysoul1234 Gold IL'ite

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    my husband is dark as in dark-dark. I am on the very fair side. he is thin, I am fat. people asked me why marry such a dark person. people asked him why marry such a fat person. but we still chose each other for marriage.

    I think I made a "smart" choice because to the world he may seem "mediocre" in terms of looks but I saw him for what he is/was - an exceptional human being in all aspects of his life. Caring, smart, independent, respectful, sense of humor, thoughtfullness, a good friend etc etc.

    people complain he is too laid back, never makes timely decisions, is not a go-getter etc etc. I saw that he never backed out on his committments to me or his family, never broke a promise he made, and always thought through his decisions which meant he never makes a wrong decision. he has 3 usa patents to his name so he is a smart guy! so how in the world is he considered mediocre just because he is dark I don't understand!
     
  9. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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    I think the OP is talking about intellectual mediocrity. Well, some women would want the upper hand and would not having someone that's intellectually not a challenging person.
     
  10. Happysoul1234

    Happysoul1234 Gold IL'ite

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    ahh I get that now! thanks for the clarification!

    I could not stand being married to someone who was not smarter than me and could not keep me on my toes! that would just be condemning myself to a life of boredom!

    when i was looking for spouses, it had boiled down to 2 choices. dh, intercaste marriage, someone I could love and respect. or a guy from my caste, green card holder, but nowhere as intellectually stimulating as dh. against my mom's wishes I married dh. now she claims he is the best "damad" in the family :)
     

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