1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Top 3 reasons for fight between u and ur spouse

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Jaishree123, Sep 19, 2007.

  1. RajiParamesh

    RajiParamesh Guest

    Hai,
    I was very recently married. Even though i can say many of the reasons for fight between me & my spouse. On my opinion the 3 best reasons are::::::
    1. Always they think that they are correct & doesnt have complete confident with spouse.
    2. Try to dominate in every matter
    3. Cares only their interests & doesnt much matter spouses interests



    Can u also suggest some points to be remembered for newly married couples?
     
  2. mythili

    mythili Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    1. Watching cricket
    2. Not doing chores due to watching cricket
    3. Spoling weekend plans due to watching cricket
     
  3. Meeta

    Meeta Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    571
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Hey Mythili,
    Still laughing at your post. So, your hubby is a die hard cricket fan, so do my hubby. Even our weekend plan was cancelled due to ('a very important match'-quoting hubby) India match on Saturday, and he is consoling me saying that we will go on Sunday, and you know.........sundays for rest.........so again another dhisoom........dhasoom.........
    take care.
     
  4. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,320
    Likes Received:
    7,223
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Female
    Good topic to go.....
    In my case there are several reasons....
    Top 3 includes..
    1. His people : shows too much concern, always worries about them, just want to make everybody rich, keep calling his mom, dad, brothers and sister.
    ANd can't take any single comments passed on them.
    2. Not even showing 10% concern towards me or kids (in what ever he shows to his people)
    3. To selfish : at home - just take rest or talk to his people. Not helping me with house or kids. Not participating in kids activies.

    Above all, not spending time with me or kids.

    what a illfated person i am :bangcomp: :bangcomp:
     
  5. ani78

    ani78 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    1. Laziness or rather carelessness - In important external matters
    2. Discussions on Inlaws(for both) and understanding ulterior motives of his siblings
    3. Giving in to kid's demands.

    these are jus three on the top of many other matters... Ha ha .

    But ultimately arguements result in closeness when these are constructive arguements.
     
  6. geeta_sathish

    geeta_sathish Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    Good thread...

    Mythili, your update was too good.. :tongue Even I am writing this when my DH is off to watch cricket and I am sitting alone on a saturday morning. :mad:. Don't worry, series ends on 24th.. Three more days to go.:yes:


    Our top reasons for fighting:

    1. Family - Both his and mine. We both can't take any criticism against our parental families. So, when such an arguement crops up, it leads to a major fight.
    How I deal with it - Say to each other what is upseting us and then immediately say that if all this is discussed it will only lead to a big fight among us and hence should stop discussing. It does not serve our purpose of making them stop doing it, but atleast they know our displeasure. That way a big fight can be avoided. Trying this at times, but many times, can't avoid the fight.

    2. Laziness - Doesn't help at all. Always wants to watch TV or be on the laptop. God knows what they do in the computer all the time.
    Yet to find out a way of dealing with this. :-(

    3. Loves to irritate me - I think its his ambition in life to annoy me atleast once everyday. As I am very childish and short tempered, I end up getting very mad at the easiest provocation.
    How deal with this - I cry. Or atleast make my face like I'm crying. That definitely stops it. :2thumbsup:. I know that its not the right way of dealing with it. But if I keep a long face, many times, he doesn't even realise that I am angry for this reason. After two days, when my silence increases, he very casually comes and asks why I am very quiet, which makes me even more angry.
    Any tips to deal with this?

    Cheers,
    Geetha
     
  7. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,521
    Likes Received:
    1,436
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Female
    Usually we don't fight. I see to that the 'fight' word doesn't come between us.
    I want to stop that before it starts.
    Let me say in other words, 'arguements' among us.
    1. When everything is ready for the dinner, including the plate, he will say' I will be back'. he will be back only after food in there gets cold.
    Solution: I don't have the food till he comes and sits in front of the plate.

    2. He will always have a banana as a 'side dish' for his first food. any time.
    Solution: pretend that there is no banana in his plate.

    3. Keeps to himself and doesn't speak out, openly.
    Solution: Tired of it and don't bother him much.

    Sriniketan
     
  8. Amicable

    Amicable Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    293
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    It is sure a good thread. I live with my husband in US alone. In-laws live far and not interfering. May be its a distance thing. Husband is nice and loving. He got more patience than me. I am short tempered. But when it comes to any problem, he becomes very cold hearted person, which makes me more upset. I don't know if its normal, when i am angry I want to leave him and I know this is wrong thinking. The big reason I get upset on him is...

    1. His Ex-wife who is abusing me and now poisioning her daughter against me so this child insults me whenever possible. Husband and Inlaws won't do anything about it except telling me to be patient.

    2. His favourite hobbies, sleep, watch tv or computer.

    3. Do not help in house chorus not even when I am sick.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2007
  9. SupriyaDinesh

    SupriyaDinesh Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,404
    Likes Received:
    48
    Trophy Points:
    85
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi,
    Very intereting topic.I wish to say i dont have any such list but unfortunately i have too many that i found it difficlut to decide top 3.It goes as below

    1.Not punctual(keeps me waiting for almost everything)
    2.Mutual Interference
    3. Diffrence of opinion

    Bye,
    supriya
     
  10. MeenLoch

    MeenLoch Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    569
    Likes Received:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    50
    Gender:
    Female
    Jaishree our paths cross again. I have pretty similar reasons like you..

    And it was hilarious reading examples like ' showbaby' by vidyasundar and 'Banana' problem by Srinikethan...


    GPriya, I am also annoyed of the word IGNORE...I have always felt like you, why can't they adjust or IGNORE my habits and not make a big thing about it..

    Laziness is a problem in my house with me... My husband is aware of this site and he says, he ll write in Indusmen forum abt it...:-D

    Here I go

    1. Very uncommunicative and I feel he is not thinking at all. He claims that s his nature. Quite oppositeto mine, who has to talk, talk and talk :-(....I talk too much and he talks too less...hehe
    TIP - So be it.... Why change one's nature, why even aim, coz that will never happen... He noted my concern though and makes small efforts for my sake...But guess he ll get back to his mode. Another solution is talk topics of his interest. This is easy for me, coz my areas of talk is WIDE. I may even talk nonsense, but cannot be shut. It psychs me out ...:mrgreen:..Solution 3 - I call up my girl friends and talk. And they pour all happenings and I do the same...Feels great especially when the urge to talk is high...hehe

    2. Savings. Spends like there is no tommorow. No planning, no budget... He has his own slow pace of doing things.... I get usurped
    TIP - Show the right ways, show the benefits... Stand as an example with your money.. Explore and keep the palette ready... This will help the lazy and lethargic husbands.. Meanwhile you gain so much knowledge..The financial guru of house. Also u can advise ur siblings, kiths and kins...If the investment proves profitable ....feel great about it women..

    3. In law fight...His mom has this problem of EXPECTATIONS. She s disappointed each time, but still has huge expectations in terms of phone calls,etc....This in-laws problem seems to be a popular reason in this thread...This is a flaw with the sociological setup I think.

    TIP - Read various iL threads to see you are not alone and pour it out to get some perspective. Since there are so many women who faced the same thing, they ll help you get some peace in this regard..Do what you enjoy..These silly things do not deserve the time and tension we give..For bigger problems, struggle, be polite yet firm....You will evolve stronger.
     
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2007

Share This Page