Superstitions, Customs , Tradition...

Personally, traditions and superstitions that I don't believe in, I don't follow. And if anyone tries to get me to follow, I still won't. So I guess that is how I'm coming out of such traditions in my own life.

For example, my mil comes up with so many new rules to tell my dh over the phone... like he cannot pray or light lamp if I have my period, and that I cannot go near any God things when I'm on my period. Well, we do not believe in that, thinking if God made me this way, He must be 'ok' with my periods too. So me and dh do not listen to her and worship God as WE WANT. That is our way of defying the superstition.

I think sometimes we think of superstitious traditions as invisible boundaries which we cannot cross. But really, they only exist in our minds. Unless you are living under Taliban rule or something, where your life is at stake if you do not follow the rules.... nobody can force you to believe or do something you don't want to. Nobody is stopping us from coming out of old superstitions except ourselves.

One more thing I forgot to say....

In my mil's house, I would follow her superstitions, because I'd be a visiting guest. If she did not want me to touch her God statues on my period, I would respect her feelings. Likewise, I expect my mil to keep her mouth shut when she's visiting my house, and not dictate what I'm allowed or not allowed to do in my own home. If she suggested some dumb superstition to me, I would let her talk but continue to do what I wanted, hopefully she would back off realizing I did not want to follow it.

I think it is up to each of us to decide what we want to follow in life, and what makes sense to us. My mil believes in superstitions and black magic and all kinds of weird stuff, so I don't try to change her mind or make her follow my way of thinking. I let her be who she is. Same way, I expect the same from her.

 

Thanks, Incarnation. I really believe in what I said.

Before I used to feel oppressed following my mil's weird superstitions. There were too many beliefs and her rules were too orthodox for me to follow. But then I realized... nobody is really forcing me to follow. She can tell me to follow, but it is ME only who is carrying out her orders. When I decided to stop... the pressure stopped too, because I realized I was in control of the things I did. Actually, that is when my relationship with my mil improved, when I realized she is not some person with tons of control over me, but just another person on this earth who can speak her opinion. Of course her opinions always come in the form of orders -)), but last time I checked, she is not some world leader who can plunk me in jail for disobeying! :rotflNow as they say, I just 'Keep calm, and carry on'. :thumbsup

 

asuitablegirl, you are awesome. today i had my periods. i was feeling lonely.. what i did is, i lit lamp for god, and chanted. i felt too good.... i dont wanna miss god when i am in my periods. i followed that culture once whn my MIL was here, but here after i will not ... MIL stays with us(she is a widow).

 

Violin,

I believe God's love for us is so great, that periods or no periods, nothing could lessen his love for us. I'm glad you are staying true to yourself by lighting a lamp to God. People can hurt us phsyically by force, but they can only control our mind if WE let them. :thumbsup

 

Well said ASG. This is so very true.

 

I admire all of you ladies to follow your heart instead of the customs.

I am married for 37 years and when I had periods I did light the lamp and did prayers. ( now no periods- that is benefit of old age). God is kind to us evveryday. Why shouldn't we stay away form prayers when we get the periods. People get mad at me when I tell them. Tough luck. I don't want to hurt anyone. If you believe int hat, go that way. But you can push some one to listen to you because you are older or more powerful than other person. We don't want Dictatorship.

Enjoy your life as you please, not hurting others. That is the method I follow.:thumbsup

 

I think all these exist only for young women in 30's or 40's and women when they became IL's they will bend /twist/change the superstitions according to their needs.
I was thinking about this for the last few days dont know why . but I really dont want to hurt any feelings. IL's pressure DIL to follow so much like go to their house first and celebrate function/festival with them just because they are married. What about MILS (not generalizing only for few dominating ILS) when their husband/FIL die will they still say same custom/tradition and willing to give up anything as per custom .