Sparing or almost no sex for 5.5 yrs with my DH

chennaiangel- didnt get

 

Dear sv,


i think your DH is using sex as a weapon. he is depriving u of your rightful needs and making you feel responsible for it.

are you sure he does not have any sexual problem... or is he not much interested in girls? some people just get married and have a baby to cover up for their orientations... our society puts a lot of pressure... (i dont mean to be insulting... just thinking of the reasons for his behavior)

and if there is nothing like that, then are you sure he is not having an extra marital affair? i mean, it seems weird to abstain from sex from a loving and willing partner for 5+ years!

he might have felt hurt bcz of your relationship with your MiL, but in that case, he wudnt agree to have a baby with u either.... having a child with someone means lots more intimacy than mere act of sex.

 

i think u mean that she gets sex outside marriage...

i dont think its the right thing to do. if things become so unsustainable, its better to first get a divorce and then look for another relationship.

having an affair or having friends with benefits is not a soulution at all... especially considering that she has a child and a child can get severely traumatized if s/he finds out that a parent is cheating on another.

 

A man is in general ( I do not mind, if Spiderman and Co, bashes me for this generalisation) a high desire partner, when it comes to sex., who in general needs more sex than the wife.

Here , her husband is avoiding sex for more than five years. It clearly has the two possibilities, one he being a gay (Why Daisymom, you feel, saying this possibility will itself offend someone ? Supreme Court of India has ruled that gay sex is legal in India, there needs to be no taboo about it, in India, at least in future). I personally know two of my male friends, who are really gay men. They have married women (how unfortunate these women can be ?!), just to escape the society's taboo............and they have children too.

Whether this possibility applies to the husband of the woman, who started this thread, we can not say with certainty. But, yes, it is definitely a possibility.

But, the second possibility, 'extra marital affair' is less likely. Because, by this time, the tell-tale signs of an affair would have manifested itself, in so many years. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO CONCEAL PYAAR AND PREGNANCY (a saying in Gujarati language).

I appreciate your point, Daisymom.

 

dear indianguy, ..when i said i dont mean to be insulting, i didnt mean that its insulting or downgrading to be gay. i have full respect for those with homosexual orientation as its their personal choice. my clarification was to make sure that those with different lifestyle do not think that i m equating a different orientation to something disgraceful. moreover, laws dont make a society change its PoV. Dowry has been outlawed for decades but how many marriages are done without at least some amount of dowry being passed on???


its not wrong to be gay. but its wrong to get married to someone of the opposite sex when u know that u are gay, just to please the society.

i just replied to clarify my point. lets not take away the thread from the OP and lets stick to her particular problem and help her out.

 

Yes, agreed.

 

Hi Svb,

What do you mean by the above sentence ? You think, it is you, who is responsible for this absence of sex for 5.5 years , with him ?

'showing interest in sex' and 'good dresses' these phrases are confusing us.

What do they mean ? Explain little more in detail about it.

 

I think I understand...