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Problems with Husband and In-laws

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by divya1000, Aug 11, 2010.

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  1. Cool1

    Cool1 New IL'ite

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    Hi Divya..
    Your husband's behaviour sounds so weird. Atleast for the fact that he left you in the house and went out leaving his friends behind.One question is that did you tell him that u did not like his behaviour and it is dangerous to do this.

    I have seen many couples sending off their kids to grandparents and trying to make money but in the end its not worth. You did the right thing by staying at home and taking care of your child.Next time if your husband insists you tell him that you wont let anybody else take care of your child. He is missing out on the moments he can have with his daughter but you do not want the same.

    I will relate a small story to you:
    I had a friend here whose sister was in the same boat as yours. His sister got married and she was also working in the IT industry.Once she got pregnent , she went on leave and then due to certain work related issues she resigned. She was happily taking care of her son when her husband came up with this idea of sending the kid to his parents and while she takes up a job since money is tight. When she did not give in then he started with all the emotional blackmail as in he dreamt that his house is taken aay due to non-payment of loann and all that. FInally a year old kid was sent to his grandparents(though her FIL is retired now and they can join their only son for the kid), the girl is living a life she does not want to. She has taken up a job and her husband is coll now but she is spending everyday like a thrusted day upon her.

    Please dont do such thing to yourself.Your daughter is very small and also dont worry about job.The day u want u can easily get one. Relax and enjoy with ur daughter..Remember barking dogs dont bite..

    Take care and sorry for the long mail...
     
  2. divya1000

    divya1000 New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Thanks Cool1 for the response. Yes I argued with him for leaving his friend in the house. I strictly told him and made him clear that I am not going to entertain this type of behavior. I told not to bring any of his bachelor friends to the house. If it is a family I can talk to their wife. If they are bachelor How long I can sit with them in the living room..and that too I was not feeling well that day so went to bedroom to sleep.That was the first time he did like that and when I argued after that He did not do it again but I feel insecure sometimes.. Even though he said he won't do it again. My doubt is What kind of husband will do like that (That too a 35 year old adult)

    I know the pain when kids are not with the mother. When I sent my daughter with my BIL..I used to cry daily and can't even sleep in the nights and not used eat properly because of that I was sick for some days. I just fought for my daughter like any thing and bought her back to me.

    Thanks
     
  3. rhea11

    rhea11 New IL'ite

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    My heart just pounded listening to your story..I really feel very sad for us Indian women sometimes..and have so much anger about women like MILs types
    who themselves being a women ,have no respect for other women
    how can she even dare to suggest,to take your daughter from you keep her with herself and not even inform you about her well being..sorry to say but i despise such women..Whatever case is ,,whether you do job or not, ..its your husbands responsibility to send ur daughter to school.Just tell your husband straight ,,its his daughter also and he has to pay for her school. even if you are not doing job.He is entitled to you and your daughters expense when he alone is working in family!!
    How is you husband apart from job thing with you..does he care about you. If next time he leaves his friend alone in house ,and goes out..just clearly tell friend " i think its quiet late and you should leave "if he is making you uncomfortable..or else dont entertain him and walk away to ur room!!
    Just focus on your daughter ,, girl your daughter needs you more than anything..to fir MIL,BIL,DH so side me rakho aur apne beti ka dhyan rakho aur apna bhi.. Tc
     
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