Sharing with those who are in the same boat - Not a Sob Story

KS and et al. Have you guys ever got angry over yourselves for allowing someone to take you for a ride or for abusing you?

 

hi dear
am really out of words.
thank god that you have come of his clutch.
ill remember you in my prayers and tight hugs from my side
god bless you with loads of love and all the very best for your upcoming bright future

 

Dear Shanti,

No I don't want to prove anything if he is fine with mutual divorce. But knowing him, I think he will retaliate and make me go thru more hell if he gets to know I am thinking of walking out. You know how abusers are right...and infact past 2 times I tried to leave, he pleaded and begged me to stay back and I did. And within 2 weeks his abuse cycle started again,,,his silent treatment, bad words, blaming etc etc. But this time I have decided not to get into his abuse loop again. So when he pleads and I say No, he will surely get into more defensive mode and start cheap and tricky stuff...and thats where I want to be more empowered...just in case if I need to use.

Also I had read that a divorce where domestic violence is involved is handled differently for the same reason that the abuser might do lot of cheap tricks to get hold of his victim somehow. And for that reason I need a lawyer who knows how to handle such abusers well. Because my hubby is capable of playing mind games with me and make me feel weak and make me feel that I am the one at fault.

I donno please pray for me ladies to keep my strength in the whole process and walk out safe and sane with my DD and lead a peaceful life.

NB

 

Yes, CW. In the begining, I used to get angry at myself all the times for having stood all that nonsense. But finally I have learnt to forgive myself.

 

The biggest mistake is to think that such a person would understand things when he cools down. No, never. If he really thinks his wife is a human being, he would never even think of those conditions. Such people treat wives worse than slaves.

 

IT is not your fault that you realised it too late. It is the way we girls have been brought up. The mantra of "ADJUSTMENT & TOLERANCE" is so much injected into our minds and blood that we continue with these till the elasticity is over, no matter what we have to face and in this process we ruin the lives of our children whom we have brought in this world. By the time we realise, we lose almost everything and It is very difficult to start life anew. The wounds and the scars of the wounds are so painful that they hurt every now and then. But still you have to gather courage. You had lived as his wife all this time, forgetting your ownself, but now start thinking in terms of yourself, and build your destiny. Truly speaking, I haven't read all the posts, but my heart really pains when I hear of someone going through such painful phase.

Please do not blame yourself for anything and start a new life. Wish you good time ahead in your life.

love