1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Sister's dramatic Husband.....

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by confidentalwayz, Aug 4, 2010.

  1. sushmamohapatra

    sushmamohapatra Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    100
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Your sister's husband is simply scaring her for divorce. Because he might be knowing somewhere that, she will not agree for this for your parents sake. Also currently she is dependent on him (not earning). Being close to inlaws is a two-way thing. Only DIL keeps trying to pamper and bear nonsese from inlaws just to show DH that his DW is being close to HIS parents, doesnt make sense at all!

    Srividya said it right, your sister needs to actually learn some acting! Such men can take things only by face value and cannot dig deep into it. Your sister should call your inlaws infront of him, and speak very nicely like asking them about their health, how was their day, also ask her to buy small gifts for them when they go out for shopping or generally showing that she will give these things when they meet. Ask her not to talk about your parents or sisters. Her DH will not do anything to improve but turn more worst and keep torchuring her on this topic everytime he sees her talking to you all. Also, ask her to avoid talking to you and your parents infront of him, which makes him feel that she is much more close to you all than HIS set of family!

    The more your sister takes his such things seriously and do as he says, the more he wil supress her and force her to live a life that HE WANTS her to live!

    :my2cents Sushma
     
  2. april1981

    april1981 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    721
    Likes Received:
    261
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi all,
    Whenever we have serious fights over money my DH always uses the "D" word. I used to wonder is it such big a fight that he is using such bib big words.
    So this time as expected he used the D word. I told him you send the papers , I will sign it. He told me I will send it after your sis wedding which is after 2 months and then your father will have one responsibility gone . So it will be easy for him to deal with an another responsibility.
    And since then though we are still giving each other the silent treatment , he has forgotten about it.
     
  3. sushmamohapatra

    sushmamohapatra Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    100
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi April,

    Your DH was just scaring you, and if he really wanted to send you papers he would nto have waited till your sister's wedding to be passed by. Divorce is the only thing that men use as weapon against their weak wife, to threaten to get their work done and make her dance to their tunes. In my own sister's case, in her current situation, her MIL has been after my BIL and sister to get separated, by saying directly to my sister, but saying indrectly to BIL. He didnot want to get separated, but just becasue he was frustrated that he cannot go against his mother's wish as he got married to my sister against his parents wish, he started beating my sister. My sister's mistake, she didnot complain anytime about this abuse while she was in India, and BIL took advantage of her weakness thinking that a complain will affect my family, my marriage, and my sister's life too. And went on with the abuse. But now she stood up and called 911 and now BIL boasts around that he doesnt care what my sister does.

    At the end, the girl has to be strong and standup for herself, irrecpective of a support or no. Things fall in place once the girl is confident of herself.

    (Sorry.. It might be off the topic but just felt like writing..)

    Sushma
     
  4. DrKadambari

    DrKadambari Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    651
    Likes Received:
    525
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Am sure this is just a part of the trouble that your sis is facing with her husband. She would be facing much more humiliations day in and out. Check out.

    Coward husband is just using D word as a wepon.
     
  5. Cool1

    Cool1 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I dont know what to suggest but going by his dominating attitude, I feel that maybe someday he might end up raising hands at her. Not intentionally but in a fit of rage.

    Your sis's DH is trying to act smart..thats all...Forget the D word, he is trying to prove something. Ask your sister to stop talking to him too much..Limit her converstaion with him and stop being submissive to all his demands. She talks to his parents and sis and thats enough. Ask him what does he expect her to share with them and show that she is close to them. Politely she can ask him to relax.Every new relationship takes time to build.

    I dont know why some men are like this. All your sis can do is concentrate on her self and her life as an individual. With the time her husband will learn his lesson..
    Mine did!!!
     
  6. Cool1

    Cool1 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I dont know what to suggest but going by his dominating attitude, I feel that maybe someday he might end up raising hands at her. Not intentionally but in a fit of rage.

    Your sis's DH is trying to act smart..thats all...Forget the D word, he is trying to prove something. Ask your sister to stop talking to him too much..Limit her converstaion with him and stop being submissive to all his demands. She talks to his parents and sis and thats enough. Ask him what does he expect her to share with them and show that she is close to them. Politely she can ask him to relax.Every new relationship takes time to build.

    I dont know why some men are like this. All your sis can do is concentrate on her self and her life as an individual. With the time her husband will learn his lesson..
    Mine did!!!
     
  7. annapoorni

    annapoorni New IL'ite

    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi
    Mostly all foreign settled males are being like this because they are feeling guilty :spin
    about their responsibility. May be he is a only son like that.
    Their parents are also communicating only by phone they are missing their son so they are creating problem.
    The male person comparing this issue because not like india he is not having diversion like(public , friends ,social activity)in abroad he is behave like this.
    Your sister either she have to adjust and explain to him.OR
    If it is a big issue in daily life they don't have children i advised divorce.
    Because she is keeping adjustment only for her future studies and job they will not lead HONEST life .They love they interested each other?Then she is explain with good manner.
    <input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden">
     
  8. hemadurga

    hemadurga Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    661
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    hi CA,
    its sad that your sister has such a childish husband... surely he is saying drama dialogues buying telling about divorce just for such simple thing...

    guess he does not want her to retort back... that is why he is using harsh word like this...

    only thing is your sister needs to be really patient and not answer him back... maybe she has to put up with him and try to talk closely to her ILs - she will ge this ability with time --- provided he is good and caring in all other matters...

    @april

    really that was a phatka !!:cheers

    but it is sad that things are silent... hope ur DH forgets about ur rebuttal and gets back jolly with you ....
     

Share This Page