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pz suggest me solution

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by tanu khurana, Jul 27, 2010.

  1. tanu khurana

    tanu khurana Bronze IL'ite

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    my mil is a hypocrite shows she do everythng good in our house every1 else is bad at household work dats me i go for work and kept a maid she alws bitch about her whenevr i came back and in front of dh...she is in this hope of geting her away and showing she do everything i got so tired after work thn hav to do more work if maid is not there 2day she made so much halla in the house showing me clothes washed by her and they are so dirty blah..blah..she is pressurizing me to remove her and make me wash dinner utensils as she dnt like washed by her in fact i pay to maid......... my dh dnt say things at all to her for him he is godmother....she is always in this hope to show even the smallest thing how i did wrong...........NOW iam worried either to remove the maid or search a new one i ask her whether to kept a new1 she said no.......i talk so less in the house....iam just happy outside my dh is also lik this alws keen on fining fault in me............ What u people do when ur mil creates hurdles for u? or advices u on unnecessary things which is not required at all?i feel so burdened with my life???? its 5 yrs of marriage................1 baby and the hell............i wnt be able to manage my life instead of being so educated........is this my fault?:drowningi cant take help of dh as he is perfect moms boy fil a mil tail..sil is just exact her copy...............
     
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  2. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Just tell your mil that working full time and then coming home to do house work is too much for you, and that you are going to be hiring a maid. Ask her to be part of the selection process. If she picks the maid, I doubt she'll complain about her later.

    When your husband complains about you, ask him "Is there anything you like about me?" Maybe it will get him to see that he has been doing lot of complaining. You can let a person know you don't like what they're doing in a gentle way, without causing a fight.

    For example, sometimes my dh will complain about something I did or didn't do, and I will say that thing I told you, "Is there anything you like about me?" Well, now it has turned into a cute ritual with us, in which he always answers "everything". :) Although it is a playful thing between us, it is useful because it reminds him not to criticize me too much.

    Just an idea!
     
  3. semaphore

    semaphore Senior IL'ite

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    Tanu

    I understand better. My mil expects me cook b'fast, lunch before i leave work, come back cook dinner, baby stuff, serve them all, dish wash .. give baby the bath and put him to bed ..... etc etc .. All alone, DH shouldnt even help me bcos he's man. And they all watch TV throughout.

    So far I think silence is best thing in most of the time. They make us feel that we have bad home managing skills. but believe me we do best. So feel proud and shut the ears .. I am learning that now...

    Dont remove the maid now. if you can replace maid,thats fine. Once you teach them you can do, they will stick to it.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2010
  4. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    Don't even think of firing the maid because your MIL says so. When your MIL complains about clothes and utensils, ask her if she showed it to the maid and tell her if something is not done properly she can ask the maid to do it again.
    Also, I don't understand if she doesn't like the way the maid is cleaning, can't she do it herself?
    Why does she expect you to do everything?
     
  5. daisymom

    daisymom Senior IL'ite

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    So sorry to hear about your situation...


    why dont you go and say this politely to your MiL - Mummyji, from now on, you take care of the maids as you have more experience with house hold work. please find a better one so that thins can run smoothly. I dont want you to do the house work in your old age.


    Let her understand that you will not do all the house work and then go to your job. if she gets the feeling that in the absence of a maid she will have to do everything, she will never try to find fault with her (the maid)
     
  6. aruna_077

    aruna_077 Senior IL'ite

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    Wow.....tats cool! Try it out op :thumbsup
     
  7. tanu khurana

    tanu khurana Bronze IL'ite

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    thanks friends for ur views....i will adopt them surely:biglaugh.............. feel so bad a dull atmosphere at home..............no outings at all feel so dull.....
     

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