My confidence troubled !

re: My confidence troubled !

Hi Shruti,
don't worry dear.Your english is good with very slight mistakes.You can learn it fast.Mingle with people so while hearing their speeches you can easily learn.Don't blame your husband because he cannot go and argue with any one for your sake since men usually do want to behave in a gentle manner.
Also know one thing.English is only a language.It doesnot mean that speaking english is a sign of intelligence.
Cheer up.:cheers

 

re: My confidence troubled !

first. pls dont cry. every one feels the same when they come to US for the first time.
it happened even with me.
Once I started making friends. everything went right
My advice is that make friends with any one (from ur circle)
then start taking their help where ever needed.
Like how to get rid of ur fear and how to open up and start speaking to new people
And other stuff. Try talking to ur husband also. Did u tell him abt ur concerns and peoblems? he might surely help you get through this.
Trust me
Once you have confidence in urself, everything is going to work fine

 

re: My confidence troubled !

Hello Shruthi!
I am tempted to see this as a problem of confidence, not much else, because you write well! I have colleagues from many countries who write far worse English than you do. I know, because I do a lot of editing for them. So, stop worrying. Here are some suggestions:
Most public libraries in the US will have some information on English classes, usually free. Go to the nearest library and join one of these right now. It will achieve multiple things:
(a) You will get a chance to work on your language (b) You will meet people from a number countries, of all ages and backgrounds, who are in the same boat as you are. That will boost your confidence. (c) You will make friends who will not equate sophistication with language speaking skills. They won’t laugh at you. (d) Once your own estimate of your language improves, you can take other courses to better your education. If the library does not have classes, look into a Community College close by. They will have very cheap classes – say around $300 for a whole term!
Shruthi sounds South-Indian. So, I assume you speak some South-Indian language, possibly Tamil, Telugu, Kannada or so on. In any case, figure out your best language. Continue to work on it – read the very best that that language has to offer. If you don’t know what it is, ask some friend or relative and find out or tell me what your favourite language is and I can make suggestions for you. The idea here is: if you are feeling that you are relatively poorly educated and lack the confidence to speak English, you should at least make yourself good at the one you know. You need to build your own confidence to say to yourself “my English may be weak right now, but I have read the best that Tamil has to offer! I know more than these other silly women who went to some convent school and never learned to speak their own language properly! Let them laugh all they want!”
Pick some topic, any topic, make yourself good at it. That is the best way to boost your confidence.
Also, look into volunteer opportunities at the library. Tell them that you feel your English is not the greatest, but that you want to help out in any way you can. They will help you figure it out. This will get you away from your little neighbourhood and silly acquaintances who make fun of you. It will give you the confidence of making yourself useful, get you to speak English at least a little bit ,in a new environment and best of all prepare you to get a job or build a career when you feel ready, if you want to.
Most importantly, remember these things:
The US is a great place to reinvent yourself. Americans will not laugh at your efforts to improve yourself or speak better English. Now that you are in the US, take full advantage of the opportunities it offers!
Do not be shy. Spend some time figuring out what you enjoy, where you would like to be. Start working on it now. Language, cool accents etc. are simply “skills” – they can be acquired.
Start where you are – devote a little time to making yourself the best at whatever you are simply good at now and a little time to improving your English.
English has a lot to offer. So work on it for its own sake and for the sake of improving yourself - not because some silly women made fun of you. They don't matter. Don't give them the power to hurt you.
Invest that energy you spent on crying into taking charge of your life and feelings. You have identified something about yourself that you feel robs you of confidence. Now do something about it!
I would like to hear from you within one week about your research into opportunities in your town! Prove to yourself that you are not simply whining!

 

re: My confidence troubled !

Hello Shruthi,
There are a ton of resources on the web. Here are a couple:
Learning English - Home
Teaching and learning English online
You write well, so I wonder - perhaps you speak well too, but are concerned about your accent. Here is a resource that will help you minimize your accent, based on your native language, including Hindi or Malayalam ....
Accent Reduction & English Pronunciation for Individuals
When learning French one would want to speak as elegantly as the French do, but since we Indians are often educated in English, we tend to view acquired accents as 'fake' while at the same time making fun of the way fellow Indians speak English. My advice is, don't worry about all that. Language is communication and communication is social. That means that you have to be concerned about the people you are speaking with. So, it is perfectly legitimate to try and bring your accent closer to the British or American norm, while you live and work here.
I really, really don't want you to cry about all this, OK? You are only 23! You can still make yourself whatever you want to be - now, go to it with gusto! Good Luck!!

 

re: My confidence troubled !

dont be depressed..

take action on the problem:
go to personality development classes..
talking english for 2 hours a day is not going to help you.. tell your DH that you are only going to talk in english at home (this is for your own benefit) so your english will be better..
take up hobby classes to stay away from such women who make fun of you..

 

re: My confidence troubled !

Shruti,

Basics - poeple around you will make you cry as long as you cry. So next time stand up for yourselves. Be prepared to be as sarcastic as they are to you, otherwise be your own self.
About speaking english, language is just a way of expressing oneself and speaking english is not a big deal. No one is a scholar here. You might be good at million things that these ladies are not good at. To me they seem very in secured not you. So next time you attend a party, be confident. Speak in the language you are comfortable with. I am sure you will make few true and good friends.

BTW, your English is good.:thumbsup

About your husband not supporting you, may be he likes the way you are and you should give him a credit for that. You are lucky that he is not pushing you to do things.

And about education, it's better to be an uneducated person than being an educated fool.

Take care.