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Did your DH receive any guidance from inlaws?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by contented, Jul 14, 2010.

  1. iamsudha

    iamsudha Senior IL'ite

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    Shortly after our marriage, my hubby was taken aside by a cousin who is much older (by about 10, 12 years!) than him but very close to him and was told, I believe, about the meaning of mantras chanted at the marriage and he was told to never divorce me. NEVER! That was the gist of it. I am sure they talked a lot. Some of those details are still trickling in...
     
  2. maroon

    maroon Gold IL'ite

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    I know my MIL advised my BIL when he got married. My BIL is a momma's pet but my MIL used to be worried about that actually. She would tell me "I dont know what this boy is going to do after marriage. He should learn to be independent otherwise what will the new girl think". She told my BIL to adjust well with the girls' side.

    There are times when me and MIL crib to each other about our respective DHs :rotflnothing serious but some silly stuff. While talking to me she would often refer to my DH as "your husband". MIL had had a very tough time with her in-laws but then not an iota of it she passed on to us. She would advise her sons to help their wives. In many ways she is a standing example of a good MIL (barring very few shortcomings, but those are outweighed by the rest of her qualities) Likewise my DH is like a son to my parents. Like they say, its all in the upbringing.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2010
  3. Sujimallige

    Sujimallige Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear contended,

    After our marriage my in laws took my dh inside a room and they came out after quite a long time (maybe 2 hrs or more).I asked him much later after some months wht it was all about.Here is some of the things he was advised:

    Do not take your wife on any vacations or anything.

    All the meals must get cooked at home.No hotel food for her.

    Do not buy any dresses for her

    She should not call her family,if she wants let her email them.

    Try to keep her under your control at all times.

    Do not have any contact with her side of the family whatsoever.

    Their bad but my dh is a person who just listens to all but does what he wants.So none of these materialized.So now dh is termed as hen-pecked and me as control freak and what not..

    suji
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2010
  4. contented

    contented Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Sudha, Its nice of your Dh's cousin to explain all the meanings of what actually is happening . Most people dnt even pay attention to the mantras and poojas happening around them .

     
  5. contented

    contented Senior IL'ite

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    Maroon, your MIL is reallly toooo sweet. :bowdown..I loved the way she advised your BIL and the fact that though she had a tough time with her inlaws, she never passed on any of that to you. :thumbsup

     
  6. contented

    contented Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Suji,

    Sad to hear that parents give such bad advice to their son, but good for you that your DH never paid any attention to whatever they said :)

     
  7. sheetz1

    sheetz1 New IL'ite

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    HEck yeah they do get guidance ....on
    1. how to control your wife
    2. how to treat her like the weaker sex..altough the mom was treated like crap by the dad...she wont cease tellin her son to do the same
    3. how to disrespect inlaws coz they r the parents of the weaker sex.

    they do get tons of guidance just not in the right direction unfortunately!@
     
  8. thekumars9308

    thekumars9308 New IL'ite

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    Nice to read all the replies. Something that I would like to add, even though I do not know if my DH got any advice from his parents/relatives, after marriage my MIL has always been telling my DH to help me with household chores, buy stuff for me, take me out, etc and more so now that I'm pregnant.

    Here's something really worth noting. Very good point that you have brought up 'mstrue' and the way you thought of addressing your MIL as DMIL :bowdown Something I have never seen written in any forums.


    Very true!! :hatsoff: to you.
     
  9. thekumars9308

    thekumars9308 New IL'ite

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    Only girls get all the advices in the world. Even in IL there is a document called "21 Golden Rules for Indian Women" but I do not know if there is any such thing that exist for men!!
     

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