2nd marriage - Not informing Inlaws that she is divorcee

If you inform now.. the obvious question will be why now and parent's ego shall still be hurt as to why were they not informed earlier.

I really wonder if they're not knowing about it even after so many years.. what if the filmy way.. all know the truth but none are discussing:bonk........

Personally to me its not a v big deal since husband and wife are knowing about it.
I read it from some iLite as- dont blame your Diaorrhea to MIL/FIL/BIL/SIL :biglaugh.........

 

This is like being in continious fear... Just in case the inlaws get to know... the strength / beauty of the relationship is totally gone. Marriage is bonding of not just girl and the guy but two familes

 

Maggi yes my response remains the same... even if it was my bro.. its his life and its fine as long as he knows the truth. I wont dare tell anything to my parents unless he wants me to.. I've kept his several secrets.

Also I feel that if the case study's is of a relative then OP should not post it as an acquaintance or a friend.. and then post this question.. you're already anonymous on this forum.. why do you need further anonymity.

Regarding the next topic, I personally feel its unrelated here.. using inlaws in times of need and isolation in times of happiness is a vast topic and needs another thread.. dont mix all emotions and grievances into one topic.... we'll be rushed to chit chat forum :crazy..........

 

It is surprising that such a fact has been kept under the carpet for so long!!

Just because she is divorced should not be a reason to be looked down by the guy's parents, ideally speaking. However, it all depends on their mind set and outlook towards life. If the girl is adorable and already won the hearts of her inlaws, it may not matter much. But for sure, the parents will be heart and may feel cheated to know about the fact after so many years of marriage.

This should not be hidden for any longer. Whatever be the consequence, it should be disclosed. If the relation between the girl and the guy is fine, at least that will be unaffected, even if they lose hearts of the guy's parents.

But if it is hidden, and the parents come to know from some other source, the disaster is unavoidable.

 

If anyone should have informed the guy's parents in the first place, it should have been the guy himself, which obviously he did not do. He definitely must have had his reasons. Its not like the woman hid the fact that she was a divorcee from the guy. Maybe the guy's parents are orthodox. In any case, that's water under the bridge now and telling them after all these years may create unwanted tension.

 

I totally agree with shilpama.This needs a special mention
Regarding the next topic, I personally feel its unrelated here.. using inlaws in times of need and isolation in times of happiness is a vast topic and needs another thread.. dont mix all emotions and grievances into one topic.... we'll be rushed to chit chat forum ..........
Also Maggie please dont take me wrong,from your initial post I feel you are more bent on this.

Maggie, to your question :
The reaction to a circumstance differs when its in our famiyl / when its some one else. Would the reponse be the same if this happens in your family where you are sibling / parents to the guy.

I have a brother and there is a lot of things in his family that my mom and dad don't know.As a women I know how my SIL feels and Iam not close to her.My SIL had an abortion and my parents dont know it.She has some medical conditions due to which she prefered her parents to mine for both her children.My parents don't know her medical condition.The inlaws -SIL relationship is okay in my house and I like it that way and relationships are healthy here.


Like Umlaut said,<TABLE class=tborder style="BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px" cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=6 width="100%" align=center border=0><TR title="Post 1284069" vAlign=top><TD class=alt1>that's water under the bridge now and telling them after all these years may create unwanted tension. <TD class=thead colSpan=2>Hope you like my views