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An Episode in my Married Life

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by DrKadambari, Jun 20, 2010.

  1. Visu2k

    Visu2k Gold IL'ite

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    Yes, classic!

    I didn't even have to read from DrK to say that her husband wouldn't tolerate her leaving him. He fits classic mold of one afflicted with superiority complex and yes they do need a suitable person to validate their superiority!

    DrK you are going the right way and know exactly how to deal with him. From your earlier posts it seemed like you were (are) still enamored by his threats and antics. It looks like you just want to see others opinions and my opinion is you go girl!
     
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  2. DrKadambari

    DrKadambari Gold IL'ite

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    Visu - Thats what i do, i dont get angry when he gets angry, I just ignore him and care a damn abt this anger. He would growl and then get back to normal on his own. WRT continue doing what I want is quite impossible, if i do or dont do, he says "if I say NO then you might do it at my back who knows" OMG.

    Gauri03 : Yeh... if you all know the first scene in Movie Sapney / Minsarakanavu / Merupukalalu - How girish karnad boosts about... my DH is like that. :rotfl

    I dont deserve my DH.... I rather say my DH does not deserve me.

    His parents left him the way he is now right from his school days.. said this is how he is and he went on... now I am facing the effect of it. Some one has to bell the cat and I am doing it...
     
  3. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    DrK
    Just ensure you dont spend all your bubbly, youthful life belling the cat, and when the cat is belled you turn back and see several years just went by.

    Hope you can live a marriage with someone who loves you through your years.
     
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  4. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    OP, from what I read of your problem, if it were me, I'd get medieval on your husband's arse and trust me, that is not a far fetched description if someone were to starve me and make me cross.

    You need to take charge and from what I understand, you stay in a hotel so there is bound to be a restaurant or two in the hotel. Just eat there whenever you are hungry and charge it to the room (which most hotels will let you do). If your husband throws a strop, tell him that he either needs to give you an allowance to eat atleast 3 times a day or you will continue what you are doing. Stand up for yourself and don't let your husband treat you like rubbish. If he threatens to divorce you, call his bluff and tell him to go ahead. The way I see it, you are better off without an arsehole like that for a husband.

    If I were in your shoes, your husband will be praying to every bloody god out there for what is coming to him. Take charge Kadambari and what your husband is doing is spousal abuse and he needs a really swift kick in the arse for starters.
     
  5. iamsudha

    iamsudha Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you for saying it simply. I was starting to get the feeling that I walked into 'Doormats R Us'.

    No offense. Not necessarily this thread but in general.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2010
  6. DrKadambari

    DrKadambari Gold IL'ite

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    A person who loves would not make you cry. Love is a far off word to me now... I struggled hard to come up to what I was when I got married. I got married to start everything from the scratch.

    Well all these kind of stable thinking didnt come to overnight. Each and every situation my DH make me stand in made me khoj for answers.

    I have said so much : I feel lot more relaxed now.
     
  7. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    DrK
    Dont let him take you for a ride ever. Remember, you can walk out and have a good life if need be. Be strong.
     
  8. DrKadambari

    DrKadambari Gold IL'ite

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    Malavika81 : If I had heard of what I went thru from any one else, I might have replied exactly like you. But then being in that situation, cant really react that way.

    Before marriage I was a very bold girl and also ambitious and make realistic plans and work towards it, now I have lost myself. I got deprived of the basic requirements.. what think of ambition.

    After that onsite thing, I immediately went to india for vacation, many of them who saw me said that i had become very fair and got very consious about weight. Damn I had become pale. :spin
     
  9. Ranchu

    Ranchu Local Champion Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Kadambari,

    Hugs to you ! glad to know you feel relaxed now, thats what IL is all about.
    Everyone has posted their suggestions and advise.. you are a very smart lady, collect yourself together to make the right decision. Dont let time fly by.. it will pass within a wink of an eye. Start reacting before its too late. By reacting am not advising you to break the marriage immediately, but talk to your husband for a counseling session or separate for few months to see if your hubby develops a void in your place. May be that will develop some feelings for you .
     
  10. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hmm interesting. Because that is exactly how I would react if I was being abused and starved so my husband can save a few quid.

    So how else are you going to react? Go on a hunger strike? Wait,,,,,that is not far off from what you are doing now LOL
     
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