I am so annoyed right now...

Its a pain when these things crop up. It is sweet you offered to do this for her.

After doing so much, don't let your hard work go down the drain by fuming about why you did it - just think about the sweet memories you can create with this occasion instead. :thumbsup

Can you invite more of your friends? If not, see if you could drop off the food to a shelter or something? I'm sure many at a homeless shelter or something will appreciate the food.

 

That is true. The last minute changes are annoying.

 

Hi Rakhi,

The $800 is not a waste - as you are conducting the seemandham, it is up to you to give the vadhyar dakshina, so feel free to give the bhattar and his wife, the veshti-podavai, regardless of whatever your SIL says.

About the guests, though, I don't know. If she had already sent out the invites and some of them told her that they couldn't make it, then we can't really blame her. Of course, it would have been smarter for her to send the invitations out first, see how many people were actually going to attend, and, THEN give you the number so that you could have catered for the right number of people but oh, well. She's stupid, and that's all it is. So, give her the benefit of doubt.

And, I strongly second the idea of having a meeting / discussion with all the four individuals concerned (she & her husband; you & your husband) to see exactly what is going on, just in case she is doing all this on purpose with the intention of landing you in hot water later. I don't know why she should - given that this is HER seemandham that she would be ruining - but laying your cards down on the table and clearing the air in public might not be a bad idea at all at this time.

Good luck. It was very sweet of you to host this function for her - this is usually a function that should be done by her pukathu manusha, not poranthathu manusha. But the fact that you went ahead and did so would make her a BIG-TIME ingrate, if she troubled you despite your attempts to give her a good seemandham (even if it is not at all your responsibility)!

 

No Biggie: Dont react!!

1) Extra food is small quantity -Give guests some to go bags or freeze it
2)Keep the puja items & use it later or give it to the temple or the pujari can use it
3)Give the guests the bangles with Haldi kumkum & fruit -like a goody bag.
4)If you are ready by 12 all you have to do is wait fr 2 hrs. Watch a movie, read a book or post on IL.
5)800$ stuff for pujari-see if you can-return/exchage it or gift it to your SIL :thumbsup

Blame it on the pregnancy hormones & let it go.

 

I donno abt that, and so may have to give the 'benefit of doubt' coz some of ya'll saying it, otherwise I'd think Rakhii's SIL is crazy and needs to be put in place.

 

No she aint crazy. Shes just trying to be a Diva since its her day. Just humor her for the sake of family peace.

 

Personally, I may not unless extenuating situation. I dislike such drama.

 

Nice workarounds given by DDC........
Rakhii i know ur at your wits end as of now... but then as per your posts you have a generous nature of going OVERBOARD in trying to keep everyone around happy.
Perishable items.. keep it for your function for FUTURE.
Non perishable... invite your friends in the evening.

Am really not sure about timing at 2.. cos if you start at 2 then by the time you get to eat it shall be 4... and I really feel that'll force visitors to have their lunch and then attend the ceremony.

 

Rakhii,
Talk to your MIL and tell her that you all done so and so but SIL is changing plans which is really annoying you.
Except food, nothing gonna waste. As shilpa suggested, just pack them for your future functions or any of your friends.
Ask your hubby to talk to her otherwise.