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Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by computerman, Jun 21, 2010.

  1. computerman

    computerman New IL'ite

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    even though she doesnt like my parents she did invite my mom to come and visit our son. she cant because of my sisters issues. the problem is last time round my mom complained abt money and we had big fight and i asked her brother to intervene. but then i found out that it wasnt a money issue. my father said he takes care of expenses. so i dont know whats going on there. i dont know how much of prob i can solve going to india. wife saying to go to india to see for myself. father is not beating but just very careless and irresponsible. my mom is not having any peace of mind. My father in law comes here once a year to visit us for a month. splits the time between her brother and us.....i feel bad for my mom
     
  2. Malyatha

    Malyatha Gold IL'ite

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    Ask your MOTHER what you can do to help her. Get it DIRECTLY from the horse's mouth and act accordingly. That may be the best solution to this issue.

    Regarding your WIFE wanting to visit and personally verifying the facts of the matter - sorry, but that is like putting the fox in charge of the chicken coop. It will only work out if YOU - the son - visit and PERSONALLY verify - for YOURSELF - the details of the issue. Your wife may mean well but it would NOT be advisable to make this a case of your wife's word against your mother's word. This will only make the problems between your wife and mother worse.
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2010
  3. computerman

    computerman New IL'ite

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    no i meant my wife said i need to go.. my wife would never agree to come even if i wanted her to come
     
  4. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    Take a vacation and one or two weeks working from India and you should get clear picture of the situation.
    Don't worry how your wife should handle kid here.If your son going to day care then they should able to handle it.Atleast at end of the trip you would have clear picture about the situation,instead of sitting here and worrying and worrying.
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2010
  5. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Hi Visu,

    That was very thoughtful of you! Guess I did not think through that. :bonk
    Sorry about that computerman & psych. I was just looking at this one issue and its similarity between threads. My bad!

    By the way, Visu - Nice posts and great contribution to the forum. :cheers
     
  6. MrsSaravanan

    MrsSaravanan New IL'ite

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    Hello computerman,

    It would be good to check with your Mom. A visit to India would prove helpful, to find out what exactly is going on at your home.

    I have seen situations where people act totally different when the "US based son" visits for a month or so. It is very rare that your dad would continue to act the same way (as ur Mom says), when you are visiting only for a month.

    So, please check with your closed friends or family too about the situations.

    Good Luck !
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2010
  7. lotusgirl

    lotusgirl Senior IL'ite

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    1 have to say one thing.. he good thing about this situation is that you both(DH & DW) want to resolve it in the best possible way & you both seem to be on the same or similar page!! thats a good start & obviously you have got some practical sugestions on here. So why dont you both sit together and decide the best possible step from your side & take it from there ?
    I sit stand by my suggestion that bringing your dad over will not solve the issue.. Thats only a temporary soln and would not work until you know what exactly it is that your mum wants.. So get all the details & then see.. This is not a situation a child really needs to be in!! esp to clear up a parents mess.. so lots of good luck vibes coming your way!
     

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